January 29, 2008

Nothing to See Here... Move Along.


One of the reasons I started EOS was because I love writing about the soaps.  As the site developed and my life changed and time passed, my own writing began to take a back seat to the posting of the writing of others and I am perfectly at peace with that.  Now, I pretty much write if I have something to say that I do not feel is being said anywhere else.  That is why there will sometimes be weeks or even months that go by before I chime in.


Usually, if I have some feeling about the soaps (often, they are so benign that commentary isn't even warranted), my girls have already given voice to the thought, often better than I would have done myself.  That's the key that many commentary webmasters have learned:  hire people who write better than you do yourself.  If I can go read my thought expressed better than I, myself, can manage, I know I've scored at the hiring game.


This time, I am writing because even I am surprised by how much my own thoughts mirror what is already being said.  That is why the title of this column reads as it does.


Certainly, it is not because there is nothing to see on the soaps.  It is almost scary how good the shows are and I really cannot find much to complain about on any of them.  But give me a minute and I will see what I can work up.  When in history have the shows all been good at once?  I have been a viewer of GH and OLTL since they came on the air that first day and I picked up on AMC around 6 years or so ago.  That's over 40 years of soap viewing and it was always the case that one of the shows was the good show and one was the lame show.  GH and OLTL took turns being one or the other.  When one was up, the other was down and vice versa.  What are the chances of all 3 shows being excellent at once?  It's like dreaming you can fly and not ever wanting to wake up.


I only have a few things to say that I have not yet seen mentioned elsewhere and by elsewhere, I mean elsewhere on EOS because honestly, my online time is so limited that I just don't have time to surf to other sites and read what other columnists are saying.  For that matter, my staff here at EOS is settled in nicely to the point that if I am in a tragic hurry, I can just slam up the new columns and not even edit them.  I trust the people to not embarrass the hell out of me in the interim, then when I get a spare minute (ha ha), I can go back and read at my leisure.  Having a site assures ME that I have a stock of good reading material at all times, so it's a selfish thing, really.  So it is altogether possible that the ideas I put forth here have already been covered ad nauseum by the girls.


But those are the chances we take.



Anyway, here are the common trains of thought that have left my mental depot:


1.  I LOVE, love, love, love Angie and Jesse and that story, more than any other, has me totally sucked into AMC to the point that I get antsy if I realize I am missing an episode.


2.  I loved seeing Adam work over JR today.  That was good.


3.  I love where AMC is going with the whole amnesiac Ryan thing.  I am afraid, however, that they are going to have him remember again.


4.  I love that Rebecca Budig is back as Greenlee, but I do feel bad about Sabine.


5.  I am oh so grateful that the STORY OF SPIKE'S POOR OMG EARS was dropped the millisecond it was determined that his deafness was not Greenlee's fault.


6.  I am thrilled that there are no sick, threatened or otherwise compromised kids on the show right now, unless you count Richie using Emma's wee little grey cells as his own silly putty.


7.  (moving along)  I could do without the who fake incest thing being revisited on OLTL.  It was freaky enough to go through with Tina and David and my stomach kind of fell out of my shoes when Flash kissed Uncle Joey (no wonder his hair turned white and he joined the priesthood), but now to have to plow through it again with Natalie and Jared is a little much for me.


8.  Love what the Paris story did for Viki.


9.  Love the renewed competition between Dorian and Viki.


10.  Oddly, I don't like the renewed competition between Nora and Lindsay.  Although I am appreciative that both of these actresses are getting some airtime, Nora's obsession seems pretty sick.  I could understand if Lindsay had killed someone close to Nora (this time) and Nora felt compelled to override the judge's order and go after her like a pit bull, but nobody in Llanview cares that Spencer Truman is dead and most of the people want to make Lindsay a hero for doing it.   If Nora is such an advocate for the law, then she should accept that the judge made her ruling and that's that.  Get on with her life and with the other cases that presumably need her attention.  She's only going after Lindsay because she, personally, does not like Lindsay and that makes her fairly weak as a district attorney.


11.  I am so, so, so glad that the whole "Marcie on the run" story is over.  Hallelujah.


12.  I am also pleased that Jessica's stupid idea to pretend to be Tess ended up biting her in the ass.


13.  Hearing Allison Perkins do the "I know something you don't know" singsong the first couple of times was eerie and cute.  The remaining 410 times in that episode was fairly annoying.


14.  (moving along)  Maxie is almost likable with Spinelli.  Weird.


15.  I don't much care for Elizabeth, but I do look forward to watching her drop the bomb on dorky Lucky tomorrow.


16.  I miss Luke and I am so glad he is coming back.


17.  Ni-i-i-ce on the hair, Tracy!!


18.  I am very eager for Sarah Brown's return.


19.  Emily being a manifestation of Nikolas' tumor, WHICH I TOTALLY CALLED SEVERAL MONTHS AGO IN A COLUMN CALLED "CRAZY EFFIN' NIKOLAS," THANK YOU VERY MUCH, is just such a lame cop out.  Couldn't they come up with ANYTHING better?  I mean look at this:



I mean, how Topper can you get?  It's just goony.


20. I think Monica has always been a booze hag.  I don't think it's a new development.


I only have one idea for soaps that has likely been mentioned on other sites or boards because just as it is unlikely that all 3 soaps would be great at one time, it's also unlikely that I would come up with a totally unique perspective that no one else has suggested.


What do all of the Text Message Killer's victims have in common?  I can think of one thing right off the bat that keeps sticking in my head:


All of the people who have died or were attacked knew or were in a position to know (as in the killer suspected they knew) that Jerry Jacks is actually James Craig.


Tying up loose ends, maybe (with rope)?


Let's do the math:


Leticia - Carly & Jax's nanny, so would know anything and everything.


Carly - originally the one who lured him to Wyndemere and was the first to really get involved with the Text Messenge Killer.


Emily - she knew.


Alexis - she knows.


Sam - Alexis' daughter and Alexis' could have confided to her.


Maxie - sleeps with Coop, so could know AND was in the Metro Court hostage situation.


Georgie - friends with Spinelli so in a position to find out.


Cooper - one of the terrorists, so would know.


Lulu - has been kidnapped 87 million times since the hostage crisis.


There are still people left who know that Jerry is James Craig:


Sonny - whose car was blown up, thought to be a mob hit - maybe not.


Jason - whose boat exploded.


Jax - who Jerry would never harm.


Nikolas - who was injected with a deadly virus and who has a tumor and would not be taken seriously anyway.


The idea thwarters:


Max is still alive and no hits have been made on him that we know about.


Robin knows and is still around, seemingly with no attempts on her life.


Liz was there and nothing attacky has happened to her.


So that's my speculation on that.


Lastly (spoiler)...








I think they each hit her and flung her into the path of the next
car, which flung her into the path of the next car and so on and so on...