June 10, 2008

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Admittedly, the siren's song of being able to use that particular clever turn of a phrase was just too enticing to resist.

I'm not talking about this kind of babe:

and I am especially not talking about this kind of Babe:

and not even this one:

I'm talking about real babes like this one:

and this one:

and this one:

and even this one:

Who'da thunk it?  It's as though all of the men on All My Children, with the exception of Ryan, who I believe might actually have ovaries anyway (crazy people, please take note that I said that I suspect RYAN of having ovaries and not CAMERON MATHISON, who I am quite sure is without any female reproductive organs on his own person), have gotten together and had some critical mass crisis of conscience.  On the road to Damascus, they were stricken by the bright, white Light of Insight and achieved a most impressive Moment of Clarity.   The final tile of their slidey puzzle slipped into place...

...and they saw the big picture that was created and lo!  They called it insanity!

They can see clearly now, the rain is gone!  They can see all obstacles in their way.  Gone are the dark clouds that made them blind!  It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day!

The shackles fell from their eyes.

Anyway, you get the idea.

Suddenly, out of the blue, the men on the show started making sense.  I'm not completely sure there is hope for any of the women other than Angie, who has not been in town again long enough to be contaminated (although her constant exposure to Krystal is a real threat), but hey, the men are actually making sense!

Aidan flat out calls Greenlee on her over the top behavior regarding his grief sex with Kendall.  I have to tell you, I can be  a fairly jealous person if the situation calls for it, but I believe even I would understand something that happened if my husband thought I was dead.  Is it really cheating if the other person is DEAD?  I really don't think it's worth breaking up with a hot guy and renouncing your BFF over.  The only person who has handled this whole grief sex situation with any kind of normal behavior is Zach, who was very clear that he didn't like what happened, but that he understood what happened and would be fine once he burned down Tad's cabin.  Kendall and Aidan were all cloak and dagger about the whole thing (yet discussed it loudly in open areas as much as possible).  Greenlee flew completely off the handle.  Erica didn't even stop to hear Jack say "Hello" before she started babbling about it.  Annie, I'm sure, found some way that it was about her (off screen).  They've all clearly lost their minds, blowing what looked to be not even particularly good sex amongst Those Left Behind completely out of proportion.

Aidan finally identified (I feel correctly) that Greenlee had at last found the reason to push her away and feel sorry for herself (OK, I put that last part in).  Still, she flings herself artfully up on the cross, whining and bemoaning her plight every minute of every day.  Even when Kendall (rightly) brought up the fact that GREENLEE KIDNAPPED HER CHILD AND DROVE HIM INTO A ROCK PIT, Greenlee was quite sure that the grief sex trumped anything as silly as baby thieving.

Good for Aidan and I hope he keeps his perspective.

Zach makes perfect sense when he calls Kendall on her bizarre behavior regarding her fears that Greenlee will take him away from her.  Kudos to him for remaining calm in the face of veiled accusations!

Adam and Tad dropped all pretenses and actually made sense in their conversations.  Michael E. Knight and David Canary pulled out all the stops and gave one another the performance of a lifetime.  Kate has already detailed more eloquently than I ever could the ridiculous hypocrisy that Krystal radiates and it is even more evident in the reality based (if you can ever be reality based on a soap) approach of Tad and Adam.  Her constant cackling about Adam keeping Tad from his daughter falls flat in the face of the extreme actions she and Tad took to keep JR from his son.  At least Adam never tried to convince Tad that his daughter had died. 

Does all of this intelligent design reflect a moment of extreme self/character awareness on the part of the exiting Head Writers of AMC?  Do they really get that they've painted most of the characters on the canvas as being hateful, small, unlikable creatures? 

Will this be like Charlie in Flowers For Algernon where their moment of extreme awareness and intelligence will again degenerate into a dim-eyed, pitiable mess?

Amazingly, even the "Babe Behind Bars" spoke with intelligence today:

"It's not about Greenlee, Kendall.  It's about YOU."

Maybe it CAN spread to ovary-bearing peoples!  Perhaps there's hope yet.