March 15, 2006

Three Degrees of Separation (or Fewer) From Sonny Corinthos

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Sage had some some things come up in his world (nothing bad) and asked me to take over a column he was mulling. I hope I can do the idea justice.

There is a premise that was set forth in the movie (although I am sure it likely existed prior to the movie, this is the first place I actually heard it presented) "Six Degrees of Separation" that suggests that there are six or fewer degrees of separation between any two people, meaning that everyone knows someone who knows someone else who is related to someone else who can eventually trace a line between those two people.

Some clever soul took the idea and ran with it, creating the wonderful "Oracle of Bacon." Do not go there unless you have a good bit of time to kill. It doesn't matter who you put in, movie stars from now or from the past... it will nearly always connect the name to Kevin Bacon in six steps or less, usually less. The only one I have been able to stump it with is Freddie Prinze, but he was not even a movie star. As far as I know, he did stand up comedy and TV.

With all of the changes going on in General Hospital genealogy lately, I am quite sure that there is no one on the show who we cannot connect interpersonally and most likely biologically with Sonny Corinthos in less than three steps. None of that lame stuff like "lives in Port Charles with Sonny Corinthos" or "eats at the Metro Court." These have to be hard core connections.

So I am going to cut and paste the entire character list of General Hospital and see how close we can come to hitting the "less than 3 degrees of separation" point.

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Diego Alcazar - 2 - Stepson of Carly, who was married to Sonny

Carly Alcazar - 1 - ex-wife of Sonny

Lorenzo Alcazar - 1 - business rival of Sonny's (also married Sonny's ex-wife for a back up of "2")

Jesse Beaudry - 2 - works for the PCPD which has arrested Sonny on multiple occasions... what? That's too vague? Then we've got to fire this guy! What? We did? OK.

Nikolas Cassadine - 2 - ex-husband of Emily with whom Sonny is currently having rampant sex.

Mike Corbin - 1-  father to Sonny

Michael Corinthos III - 1 - adopted son of Sonny

Sonny Corinthos - 0 - the only zero in the bunch, although Emily was a close call.

Alexis Davis - 1- had a baby with Sonny

Patrick Drake - 2 - courting Robin who is constantly defending Sonny to everyone

John Durant  -1-  ex-father-in-law of Sonny

Jasper "Jax" Jacks - 2 - courting Sonny's ex-wife, Carly

Georgie Jones - 2 - adopted daughter of Mac Scorpio who has arrested Sonny on numerous occasions

Maxie Jones - ditto

Ric Lansing - 1 - Sonny's half-brother

Courtney Matthews - 1-  Sonny's half-sister

Samantha McCall - 1 - had a baby with Sonny

Jason Morgan - 1-  was Sonny's best friend and most trusted human until Emily

Dillon Quartermaine - 2 - cousin to Emily who is banging Sonny

Tracy Quartermaine - 2- aunt to Emily who is banging Sonny

Skye Quartermaine  - 2 - ex-wife of Jax who is Sonny's mortal enemy

Emily Quartermaine - 1- banging Sonny

Dr. Alan Quartermaine - 2 - father of Emily who is banging Sonny (or father of Jason who was best friends with Sonny)

Dr. Monica Quartermaine - 2 - mother to Emily who is banging Sonny (or mother of Jason who was best friends with Sonny)

Malcolm 'Mac' Scorpio - 1 - has arrested Sonny on numerous occasions

Dr. Robin Scorpio - 1 - defends Sonny at every turn

Bobbie Spencer - 1-  ex-mother-in-law to Sonny

Lucky Spencer - 2- cousin of Carly who is Sonny's ex

Luke Spencer - 1 - was in business with Sonny

Lulu Spencer - 2 - cousin of Carly who is Sonny's ex

Justus Ward - 1 - was Sonny's legal counsel

Elizabeth Webber - 1 - friend of Sonny's

Dr. Lainey Winters - 2 - psychiatrist for Carly who is Sonny's ex

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Honestly, I didn't think it would be that easy.