March 8, 2006
Direct advice to residents of Pine Valley:
Kendall: Girl, it's winter, put some clothes on!
Janet: Honey, I love you, but take a pill.
Babe: Don't ever turn your back on the crazy person, you dim little thing.
Krystal: Just kiss him already!! The gravy train is at the station and you're running the other way!
Trevor: Give us all some comic relief, thaw your ass out and crawl out of the deep freeze!
Zach: Stop with the bullshit posturing and marry your woman already! (and give her a sweater, fer chrissakes)
Amanda: Just give it up and find a new town to haunt, sweetie.
JR: For the love of God, boy, just shut up!
David: C'mon over here t'Mama and give us a big ol' kiss. Now there's a good bad boy. What? You've been an extra bad boy? Mama spank!
Ryan: There are plenty of fish in the sea. Please find somewhere else to drop your hook.
Erin and Aidan: No advice. You're doing fine, kids.
Tad: Turn around really fast and tell me who you see! Surprise!