December 1, 2005

Hope Spring(field)s Eternal

What did I just see?

In watching the previews for tomorrow's GH, did I actually see the love of my life, keeper of my heart and juggler of my very hormones, Mitchell "Buck" Coleman squatting in the bushes with a jammie?   [Insert swoon here]  Remind me to bring that man a Merle Haggard CD when I see him again at the GH Fan Weekend next July.  Lorda Mercy.

But I digress (already).  Sorry.  Blake Gibbons is quite a distraction when one is just nestling into the desk chair to talk GH. 

Twenty-two years.  Where was I 22 years ago and what was I doing?  I was, in fact, twenty-two years old.  I was living in England and while I was there, Rick left General Hospital.  I returned to no more Dr Noah Drake.  The world stood still.

Well, no, it didn't really.  It kept right on turning, just like it did when Genie Francis left a few times and when they killed off Lesley and when Dr Hardy died (although it did pause slightly for that one).  Noah Drake was a hottie and there is absolutely no doubt about that. The thing is, from his year and a half on GH, I defy any of you to remember any story he had that was of substance beyond his romancing of Bobbie Spencer... but ah yes, he was a hottie.  It's wonderful how some characters just stick in your memory (and in your fantasies) like fine wine on linen.  Damian Smith, Blackie Parish, Robert Scorpio, Jagger Cates, Sean Donely...  Dr Noah Drake was in fine company in the GH hunk department. 

We all had a good laugh when we heard he was going to make a little album.  Of course, most of us did not know about his band in Australia called "Zoot" with Beeb Birtles, who would go on to form "Little River Band."  (Oh, come on, you know... "Friday night it was late I was walking you home we got down to the gate and I was dreaming of the night..."  "So lady, let me take a look at you now...")   Most of us didn't know he'd already released two albums by the time he got to GH, "Beginnings" and "Comic Book Heroes."  A lot of us didn't know about his single, "Speak to the Sky," which got some acclaim.  We just knew he was Noah Drake and he was fine

So out he comes with "Working Class Dog," which gave us the anthem "Jessie's Girl," garnering him a #1 place on the music charts and a Grammy award.  We were completely blown away.  It was similar to when people had a good laugh at Cher when she said she wanted to try acting and ended up walking away with an Oscar for "Moonstruck."  Who knew? 

He followed up with the album, "Success Hasn't Spoiled Me Yet," which is when he split from GH (evidently, success spoiled it for us) and had a moderate hit with "Don't Talk to Strangers." 

Back in the 70's, he called Linda Blair ("The Exorcist," "Repossessed") the love of his life, which was kind of funky because she was 15 and he was 25.  My husband is 15 years younger than I am, but I at least waited until he could legally gamble.  Sheesh.  He married Barabra Porter in 1984 and they had two children.  He was jailed in 2000 for spousal abuse and released on bail after one night behind bars.  He put out a few more albums, did some work in Vegas at the MGM and last January, TV Guide listed him as one of "TV's 25 Greatest Teen Idols." 

We heard nothing really of Noah Drake.   Desperate to win his love (he was only banging her and she wasn't thrilled with that arrangement), Bobbie faked blindness.  He was infatuated with Tiffany Hill, but she ultimately turned him down and he drifted back to Bobbie for about 27 seconds after that.  Once he and Bobbie finalized their break up, Noah sort of floated away to take a surgical position in a land far, far away.

It made my little heart flutter (and 22 years later, that means grabbing the digitalis and the defibrillator) to hear that Dr Drake would be returning for a limited stint and I damned near needed epinephrine when he was cagey about whether or not he'd be leaving at all in this article in the New York Times.  Now I ask you, is there any chance they'll be keeping him around?  The man is off the chart as far as age demographics go for the GH actors pool, damned near geriatric at 56 (WTF?!  Can't be!  Pass me my walker, my creamed spinach and leave me the hell alone, young whippersnapper!), so it's not likely, but who knows?  Maybe they'll impress me.  Or maybe they'll have him in the attic, with the character completely reinvented and revealed to be a child molesting puppy stabber who doesn't recycle. 

With Springfield's return imminent (and his real name being Richard Springthorpe), we have many burning questions that only the unrolling of the Noah Drake future can reveal:

- We hear tell of a badly groomed son who is a brilliant surgeon destined to save Jason.  Are we actually SORASing a character who has never been on the show?  That has to be a first.  We know Dr Drake the senior left Port Charles 22 years ago and had no son at that time.  Presuming that he knocked up some broad on the way out of town (completely believable and in character for Noah Drake), that means Dr DressedDown Drake the junior is something along the lines of 21 years and 3 months at the very, very oldest... not exactly the age I want someone to be who is prowling around in my brain with sharp tools.  That means history will be rewritten so that Noah already had a child that we (and/or he) did not know about or he adopted some wayward foster child or we're looking at the idea that it will be played off that Noah was gone longer than he actually was in real time.

- Judging from the promo that proudly boasts about THE RETURN OF RICK SPRINGFIELD, do we really think he's not had mad Nip/Tuckage?

- Will Noah be hooking up with Bobbie Spencer?  He was pretty clear when he left that he did not love Bobbie, no way, no how and wasn't planning to do so in this lifetime.  If Noah is still Noah and Bobbie is still giving it away like calling cards, they might hook up.  That is presuming the moratorium on GH's hottest sex pot having any kind of sex has been lifted.  As far as we know, the last bang Bobbie got was from Roy DiLucca in 2002 (my addled brain first thought it was on the hospital board room table with Jerry Jacks, but I do believe Roy was the final nail pounded into her sex coffin), which means she's either very heavily medicated or goes through more batteries than Mattel.  I wouldn't get my hopes up on this one, folks.  Jill Farren Phelps, GH Executive Producer, said, "Yes, you will see Bobbie and Noah together. We're not going to play out a full-on - well, I'm not going to tell you what we're going to do."  In EP speak, that means, "Hmmm.  No."  I'll be happy to translate for you any time. 

- Is it true that the town in which The Simpsons live was named after him?  Hmmmm?  Enquiring minds want to know.

- Do I really, really believe that GH is going to do the return of this GH heart throb justice?  "I go along with charade.  There doesn't seem to be a reason to change."

- What do I really, truly feel about Rick Springfield?  I'll just say, "I want to tell him that I love him, but the point is prob'ly moot."  (But if he sticks around GH and shows up at the Fan Club Weekend in July, all bets are off, OK?  KellyB  might just get another chance to deliver a man right into my arms and not have EOS' newest manthief, Kathy Hardeman)

My couch, my diet coke, my Dr Noah Drake... Now that's a Friday!  I am writing this on the Thursday before his first appearance, which will likely be for the final 3 seconds before the credits roll.  Still, it's a GH fan's night before Christmas. 


PS:  While verifying my Rick Springfield/Noah Drake facts, I found this very cool page: