May 26, 2006

Off Topic

Ooh!  Ooh!  Mr. Kotter!  Mr. Kotter!   I have an opinion and itís just screaming to come out!  Ooh!  Actually, I have a few opinions and theyíre all fighting for air so Iím just going to let them roll off my fingers, if thatís okay with you.  If itís not okay, please skip this column. 

First and because I canít talk to my husband about it right now, I have some non-soap comments  to make.  Again skip these if theyíre of no interest.  Honestly, theyíre not all that interesting to begin with!  

Comment 1.  I think American Idol was rigged.  This was the year they needed a white male to win.  We had a white female, a black female, a black male and then another white female (not in that particular order).  Keeping it real (like my little ode to Randy there?), we needed a white male.  It should have been Chris but I think the Idol PTB realized he was going somewhere regardless, so go for who they considered to be the underdog, Taylor.  Donít get me wrong, I like Taylor.  I donít think heís an American Idol though.  Maybe if someone teaches him how to dance.  Anyway, I think itís rigged because in the last few episodes Kermit the Frog (Ryan) continually high-lighted Taylor and kept Ms. McFever in the background.  He spent more time talking to Taylor, brought him out in front of the audience and showed obvious excitement toward the guy.  Is he gay or was he paid to influence the voters?  I have no doubt McFever will get a contract.  Heck, Pickler got one and if she can, thereís no reason McFever canít.  I heard her comment that Steven Spielberg wants to have a meeting with her.   Sheís sweet, talented and beautiful.  Sheíll go far.  Plus, sheís friends with Tori Spelling so if anything, sheíll  at least have a guest spot on her show!  

Comment 2.  Each night when I wake up to piddle I am singing a song.  Itís either ďBad DayĒ or ďOver My HeadĒ.  Iíve been doing this for close to two months now and honestly, I canít figure out why.  Never have I had a song stuck so firmly in my brain it comes out immediately when I wake up.  Iím not talking as Iím walking to piddle, Iím talking IMMEDIATELY when I wake up.  Why is that?  Someone please make it stop! Itís driving me crazy.  

Comment 3.  School ends today.  Evil incarnate will enter my home at approximately 2:43 PM and stay until August 7th.  My kids are wonderful, honestly.  But after about a week of Ďfreedomí theyíre bored and whiny and hot.  And that makes me so ready for school to start again.   

Comment 4.  You know that mucus guy who brings his wife to the new person after  their lovely little mucus wedding?  Heís moved.  Apparently I had a big ďFOR RENTĒ sign on my forehead and he snatched it right up.  The Mucus family now lives inside my throat, sinuses and nose.  And they are not a fun family, let me tell you! I keep trying to spit or blow them out but they just wonít budge!

Now on to the soapsÖ 

Comment 1.  I refuse to believe Todd is really dead.  Heís been not really dead before so why not now?  I would rather believe heís working with John and Bo to bring out Spencer and prove his guilt.  How, I donít know but it sounds much better than killing Todd off. Now, killing Blair off is something Iíd like to entertainÖ 

Comment 2. Iím afraid Tess is becoming Jess.  No, theyíre not going to bring back Jessica.  No one likes her.  So maybe TPTB think if they start making Tess more like Jessica with a bit of an edge, weíll like her still.  Not me.  I like Tess with spunk and spite.  Sure, give her the capacity to love but donít make her compassionate for anyone but those who are important to her.  Thatís part of what makes Tess, Tess.  

Comment 3.  Isnít Robert supposed to be Lukeís friend?  Why all of a sudden are they bickering and fighting and acting like theyíre not friends?  I donít like that.  

Comment 4.  Annaís coming back!  Annaís coming back!  This could make for one great summer!  I do hope Finola and Tristan make a stop at the GH Luncheon.  After I go to the bathroom though so I donít pee on myself when I  see them.  

Comment 5.  Did Alcazar die?  Or has he gone missing?  Or has he been removed from just my TV screen?   

Comment 6.  Liz and Jason are getting closerÖThis could be interesting.   

Comment 7.   Do you think thereís any chance in hell Sonny will be committed to a hospital far, far away (say in Africa, perhaps?) and weíll have a few wonderful months of freedom?  Even better, send Emily to look after him and show her undying love.  Works for me!  

Comment 8.  Biancaís back.   The earth will now rebalance itself into its regular spot and all  will be well in Pine Valley.  Kendall will wake up. The baby will  be fine.  Erika  will stop whining and move  to Paris to be closer to Binks.  Jonathan will  become evil again.  Dixie will find Kate (who by the way, is all grown up and now writing for EOS) and last but not least, Tad will get a hair cut.   

Comment 9.  Ryan is in love with Kendall? Are they really going to make me endure another round of  Ryan in love?  I honestly donít think I can take it again.  Isnít Cameron Matheson tired of Ryan yet?  I know I sure am!  

Comment 10.  I understand we have to have those weekly emergency tests with the loud annoying beep.  I get their importance.  But canít we have them during the news instead of my soaps?  Who  watches the news anyway?  Itís on at 5 PM.  Iíve either got Sponge Bob on or Iím gone.   Itís a perfect time to run the Emergency Broadcast System tests!  

Happy  Memorial Day! Enjoy the weekend!

PS:  After spell checking this column it was rated at a 3.8 reading grade level.  Lovely.  I write like a 3rd grader!


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