Sept 11, 2006

I always write notes when Iím watching the shows, so I donít forget something that I want to comment on, especially the stuff that happens earlier in the week. Usually when I have large gaps in my notes it is because I am so riveted by whatís going on that I forget to write anything down. OrÖitís because Iím so appalled by what Iím seeing that I donít want to set the notebook aflame with my fury.

It seems like a lot lately the large gaps for GH are because Iím enjoying it so much, and the large gaps for AMC is because it is so farking stupid. This is really causing me a lot of stress. In terms of overall investment in the shows over the course of my life, GH should come first, OLTL second and AMC last of all. So it should fit that GH is doing so well while AMC is sucking badly. Unfortunately that is not so.

OLTL hasnít even been on my radar the past couple of weeks. Life has gotten in the way of me being able to watch it. I barely have time to watch the occasional Todd and Evangeline scenes. Otherwise, despite my affection for a large number of the characters, I just canít bring myself to care whatís going on with most of the storylines. Youíd think that I would feel that way about AMC, that I would just let it go and free up some extra time to do other things. I canít. Iím too invested. It is ALL Zach Slaterís fault.

First and foremost I keep watching the show because I canít get enough of him. Even when I donít understand what heís doing, he draws me in so completely. As long as he is on the show, I will continue to tune in. But itís about more than that. Because I love Zach so much, I began writing more. Because I was writing more, I found the confidence to submit a column for Eye On Soaps. Because I love Zach, I began making more and more friends over the internet and desired to see these friends and meet Thorsten Kaye. Then I found myself wanting to meet other castmembers of AMC. So now I have been writing tons of fanfic, churning out a weekly column that is [supposed to be] primarily about AMC, meeting the actors who play all these characters. This is what I mean by invested.

Letís take the character of Josh, for instance. Heís taken a lot of twists and turns over the past year, including some very twisted turns, but after many bumps Iím starting to like his character. I met Colin Egglesfield a few weeks ago and genuinely liked him. He seems like such a nice guy. Cut to this week when we see Josh constructing a coffin in his hotel room and he tells Babe that he wants her to nail him in it. Unfortunately he wasnít talking about kinky sex. He wanted to be entombed. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Make a joke about why he couldnít have bought a pine box instead of making one? Did he go to Home Depot and ask them if they had one and they challenged his manhood if he didnít make it himself? Does Home Depot have a handy dandy coffin construction kit? The whole thing was completely ridiculous. An utterly half-assed attempt to create a dramatic moment that will draw Babe and Josh closer and show off his nice pecs. Iím sure television sets across America were switching off as Babe tearfully struck hammer to nail. But my television set didnít turn off. Why? Because Iím invested.

Itís just so depressing. I find myself ranting about the same things week after week. How many times can I whine over the awfulness of the sweet 16 storyline? How many different ways can I try and massage Tadís behavior so that it makes some sort of sense? I canít even bring myself to comment on the Zach/Kendall/Dixie/Ryan stuff. I try to concentrate on the acting. Tadís woebegone expression as he breaks Kendall and Jamieís hearts when they demand the truth and he supposedly gives it to them. Kendallís increasing exhaustion and stress as she tries to deal with all her conflicting emotions. Colby explaining to her brother why she really wants her party to go well. And on some level I am enjoying the acting. These people are really trying to sell their storylines. Unfortunately, even those scenes make me angry. Everything contradicts everything and nothing makes sense.

Tad is so sad and frustrated because heís being forced to share with everyone what he unintentionally witnessed. Assuming for a moment that he really did do and see what he claims, instead of lying for some unknown purpose, it still doesnít make sense. Krystal jokes with him that the killer should get a ticker tape parade and suddenly he has a eureka moment. After that he starts acting pissy and telling everyone who will listen that Zach and Dixie are murderers. Then when he mouths off to Zach and Derek comes in, suddenly heís the Reluctant Witness. What the hell is going on? There has to be some sort of other agenda going on. But then he is so convincing as he repeats his supposed sightings with such sincere regret. Is this an academy award performance? Or the truth? Either way, his behavior is puzzling and appalling and despite Michael E. Knightís wonderful portrayal, I find myself just wanting to put my fist through the TV. TPTP might think thatís peachy keen because all they care about is getting an emotional reaction. Anger is fine for certain scenarios, but not all the damn time.

Kendallís behavior, while portrayed beautifully by Alicia MinshewÖitís just breaking my heart. And not in a good way. My emotions about the stuff going on with Zach and Kendall are so visceral that I have a hard time expressing it. She believes Tad over Zach? How the hell am I supposed to deal with that? I can tell myself that thereís some vital secret that Zachís keeping that explains his off-the-wall behavior, but itís hard to spin why Kendall would believe a ďbitter old queenĒ over the man she loves. And I want to Ė for my love of Kendall, I really do. Post-partum depression? I canít even go into the other stuff that went on this week with Zach and Dixie and Ryan or my head will fly off my body and crash-land into the nearest volcano.

Colby gave a very heartfelt speech to JR about her motives, and for the first time since she appeared on the show I felt for her. Unfortunately thereís just too much whiplash going on there. How am I supposed to buy that this is how she really feels when it is sandwiched between all the tremendously unfunny screeching and self-absorption and excessiveness? I get that she wants to fit in and I get that Adam wants to make up for having missed out on so much. But how am I supposed to take her seriously when she wants a Hunk Brigade or whatever the hell she called it, or take Adam seriously when he rewards her snotty behavior by arranging for Jesse McCartney?

Even the little things get on my nerves. I have a great appreciation for the absurd. Usually I can chuckle over something as dorky as Lily finding a friend through a site called Friend-O-Rama. I just donít think the tongue-in-cheek nature of it was appropriate in this situation. Lily is being taken in by an internet stalker Ė a frighteningly real common occurrence. Not quite the occasion for wink-wink. Or maybe that wasnít meant as a joke and someone really thought that title was brilliant.

Geez, I feel like Iím getting sucked into a tar pit of negativity. I need to perform a classic EOS exercise and think of ten things off the top of my head that I like about AMC right now.

Jamie and Julia. I like the pace that this couple is going and how they relate to each other.

I like Sean. With the exception of his party and providing fake ID cards, he is actually quite charming in a very laid-back sort of way. Whether itís offering to make Erica a sandwich or giving Lily earplugs, he makes me smile more often than not.

Colby and Sydneyís sweet sixteen dresses were actually very pretty. Not the monstrosities I was envisioning.

One thing I like about the new camera-work is the numerous extreme closeups I get to see of Zachís beautifully scruffy face.

Josh and Kendallís interactions.

The ConFusion scenes Ė it is a very pretty set, and I like the camera work there (yes, I know Iím the only one in the world!).

Di and Del being so protective of Dixie Ė very sweet.

While Colby and Sydneyís bratty behavior may be annoying, the reactions of the other Chandler members are amusing.

Iíve always liked the pyramid-shaped bottle of scotch on Zachís bar cart (oh crap, Iím really reaching).

Spike!

Okay, Iím pretty strung out at this point, so I will address GH in bites:

The Luke/Lulu scenes were TO DIE FOR!! Lord have mercy, they are slamming it out of the park. Line of the week goes to Luke talking about the defective condoms being unable to ďhold back the advancing hordes.Ē Then he turned to Dillon and referred to him as Genghis Khan.

I love the dynamic between Jax and Michael. For the first time EVER I am really liking this kid.

Lainey is really in a tough position with all the information sheís sitting on. Kudos for the straight face when Sonny told her that Alexis would not be asking for Ric to raise Kristina if she knew about him and Sam.

He was on for a nanosecond, but I think Dr. Trent is the same guy who was the Vulcan second-in-command on Star Trek Voyager.  Woot!

Thanks for reading.  Cheers! 

    


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