November 13, 2006

I have experienced a notebook malfunction.  Everything should be cleared up by tomorrow, so I am holding off on my column until then.  Without my notes, the sum total of my article would consist of, “Okay, so the show this week was cool and stuff.  Hated that one thing, but the comment by so-and-so was pretty funny.” 

Since Justin Timberlake knows all about malfunctions, he helped me compose this alternate version to his song, SexyBack.  I started writing it to be about Laura’s return to GH, but decided to hit all the ABC soaps.  I think it completely blows, so I’m going to go ahead and blame all the suckitude on Justin.  That’s the soapy way.  

She’s bringin soapy back (yeah!)
Makin me cry at the drop of a hat (yeah!)
She’s listening in because she needs the facts (yeah!)
She’ll get the truth up in that musty attic. (yeah!) 

Dirty Babe (uh huh)
Your husband’s drunk and Josh is still your slave (uh huh)
Shed big ole tears when you misbehave (uh huh)
Should you take Little A and run away? (uh huh)

(Come out, Tess)
Don’t marry Vega

(Nash wants you back)
Todd caught the garter
She caught the bouquet
(Drinks on Em)
Here’s hoping they’re next

(Sam’s gettin help from Liz)
She’s bugged by Ric
(Carly’s pullin a gun)

Epiphany’s fakin it.
(Don’t bruise the ribs)
 Will Jason make it?
(Cops are swarming)
Jax don’t know about this.
(And get your soapy up)
Go to commercial 

They’re bringing soapy back (yeah!)
Tad and Dixie aren’t sure how to act (yeah!)
What will they do if Emma’s Kate in fact? (yeah!)
David’s waiting in the wings to get them back. (yeah!)

(Give it up, Blair)
Your marriage is over

(Focus on Starr)
With who’s she hangin
(That’s not Hugh!)
John’s fightin for words
(Vince, get a clue)
Nat needs him back, now 

Get your soapy on!

Skye wants her kid safe

Get your soapy on!

Those wacky Quartermaines

Get your soapy on!

The Scrubs are in love

Get your soapy on!

Lulu’s diggin the prof 

I'm bringing soapy back (yeah!)
I’m tuning in for Kendall loving Zach (yeah!)
Will La Kane choose Jeff or stick with Jack? (yeah!)
Just what will happen now that Binks is back? (yeah!)

Thanks for reading.  Cheers! 


Want more Dax?  Check out her website:

Hit Counter