November 20, 2006


Oh no, Jack, noooooo!  Never, ever give La Kane an ultimatum.  Oh jeez, do I have to watch the death throes of this relationship?  The buzzards are circling and I’m feeling nauseated.  I’m also pissed off at seeing Brooke hint that she has more than a passing interest in Jackson, because we all know how that’s going to turn out.  We were teased with a possible Adam/Brooke romance awhile back.  I’m not falling for it again.  But I did enjoy watching Erica and Brooke snipe at each other.  I think they enjoyed it, too. [delete paragraph about them passionately embracing, because that’s too easy]  Actually, Erica and Brooke passionately embracing wouldn’t have been half as odd as watching Erica talk to Jeff about what’s been going on her head.  Navel gazing from Erica was the last thing I expected to see.  “I’m going to fight for this marriage with everything I have.”  Uh…that involves sitting in your hotel room with your ex-husband drinking tea? 

When everyone was still waiting for the DNA results on Emma, Tad said he wanted to discuss visitation.  Annie gave him this look like “visitation” was another word for “I’m going to take your child and you will never see her again and I’ll tell her that you were a horrible mother, NYAHAHAHA!!!!!!”  Seriously, though, I have no idea why she would have a bug up her ass about visitation.  You know what?  I’m not going to rant anymore about it.  I’m not going to point out that Child Services coming to get Emma should have been something that Livia knew would happen, and would have advised her client to submit to the test rather than let the spotlight get shined on the prior test and custody issues.  Because as ridiculous as the whole set-up to it was, it was still heartbreaking to watch Emma get taken away.  Tore me to shreds. 

When the Kanes aren’t sharpening their claws on other people, they’re turning it on each other.  Besides Erica and Brooke we got Kendall ripping into Adam and then Babe, then Josh ripping into Binks.  It was kind of funny, because even Josh recognizes the fact that Bianca seems to be the anti-Kane.  Some of her warm fuzziness rubbed off on Kendall so that Kendall decided to give Babe a break.  Apparently Binks was thinking that the warm fuzzy level wasn’t quite high enough, so she rubbed some more onto Kendall with that hug.  I don’t know how it was possible that I could get this big ole cheesy grin on my face watching that scene, while at the same time thinking “Noooooooo!  Kendall, you’ve crossed over to the warm fuzzy side!  Don’t let Bianca influence you!  Get Babe back here and finish her off!”  Kudos to Alicia and Eden for making me adore a moment that was essentially about Babe-propping. 

Tad introduced a new possibility that I hadn’t considered – the fact that Kate could inherit a kidney condition, and would be without donor possibilities.  I wonder if that was supposed to be an anvil – Kate’s adoptive family comes to town because they need a kidney. 

I thought the black and white Dixie flashback clips were really cool, except for one tiny excerpt.  The one at the beginning when Adam and Dixie were getting it on – presumably the conception of JR.  So did not need to see that.  As bad as it was for me to see that microscopically brief scene thrown into a montage clip, I can imagine how awful it was for people to see it when it first played out on TV screens.   

My soapy little heart absolutely loved it when Tad was urging JR to fight for his life because his mother needed him, and then immediately JR’s heart rate went down.  Then later, when Dixie realized that a) JR fought for his life because he loves her and b) it was Tad who instigated it – well, it was just the soap du jour.  The main course was David admitting his diabolical plan to make Tad and Dixie suffer.  His derision, smugness, and pleasure at their pain was chock full of meaty goodness. 

Does any of this make up for the fact that Zach wasn’t on at all this week, following a week where he was only on one day, briefly, with Tad?  NOT.  AT.  ALL.  [insert extremely rude swear words and hand gestures] 

On to GH, has it been confirmed whether or not Maxie really is having a baby?  Well, assuming for a moment that she is, I found it gloriously twisted when Lucky told Maxie that if Liz has a boy, he wants that child to be named Lucas Lorenzo Spencer III.  Not Maxie’s baby, Liz’s baby.  The one that happens to be Jason’s offspring.  And Maxie showing up at the wedding, catching the bouquet, and wanting to be included in the family pictures was deliciously tawdry.  I think I’m actually starting to like her. 

What makes my head hurt is the crazy mix of feelings I get watching the show.  I see Liz helping Jason and Sam escape, and then act shocked and appalled when Ric and Nik dare suggest that she did it.  It grieves me to watch her siding with her one-time lover and friend Jason the criminal over her ex-husband Ric the DA.  But on the other hand, she certainly has many valid reasons for distrusting Ric, and I find myself wishing that Ric would be truly sincere with her for once.  And Jason has been a good friend to her.  But on the other hand, he and Sonny are mobsters, and tend to be full of their own self-righteousness with a chorus of apologists (most of whom are adoring women).  You see what I mean?  I am unable to fully like or dislike any of these people.  I find myself alternately rooting for and disgusted by the whole lot of them. 

One thing I would really love to see is a storyline involving these people where they pay more than lip service to the fact that Jason, Sonny and Alcazar lead violent lives that result in destruction.  This week Kristina witnessed her big sister shoot a man, then sis’s boyfriend (the nice man with the boat who is also daddy’s friend) get shot and go into the water. (sidebar – did anyone else recall the last time a girl named Kristina walked into a warehouse?)  Alcazar was devastated by seeing his dead son, screaming “Why?  WHY???” in his grief.  These people acknowledge the danger of their lives, but whine about how this is the only thing they know how to do, and they can’t just walk away from the business and blahdiblah frickin blah.  And after justifying everything to themselves so that they can keep on doing what they’ve been doing, they then draw people into their lives – lovers, wives, children – who subsequently get hurt.  Then they whine and bitch some more about the tragedies that keep besetting them.  I’m so sick of it.  Just shut the bloody hell UP!  You too, Carly.  You want Sonny to kill Ric because he might be responsible for Jason’s death?  Guess what, genius?  Jason’s life has always been in danger because he’s a FREAKING HIT MAN!!!  Poor Sonny.  His lip wobbles because Jason might be dead, and it’s all Ric’s fault!  Never mind that Sonny was the one putting Jason in the line of fire day after day after day.  Good GAWD!  I’m going to go eat some chocolate right now before I lose my mind. 

Okay, all better.  Whew!  Fluffy observation of the week:  Dillon taking his glasses off and putting them on when talking to Lulu reminded me for some reason of when Clark Kent did that in Superman.  I refer to the Christopher Reeve version.  I haven’t seen the latest version yet, because I’m still trying to reconcile that the guy playing him, Brandon Routh, once played the whiny little bitch Seth on OLTL.  I’ll get over it some day, but it’s going to take some time. 

Fug observation of the week:  Carly’s headband at the wedding.  Hated it with the flames of a thousand suns.  I think Laura Wright is one of the most gorgeous women on the planet, but she was not able to pull that hideous thing off.   

On Thursday, the day of Luke and Laura’s wedding, it was pouring down rain where I live.  I didn’t watch the episode until the weekend, and I was amused by the fact that the local news team only gave updates about flooding during commercial breaks.  It was like they knew that people would lose their minds if they cut into programming. 

As always I’m delighted by Tracy as she got completely shnockered before the wedding, then was tripped and carried out of the ceremony so she wouldn’t cause a scene (too late).   

I can fully believe that Luke would be in love with Tracy, while at the same time still being head over heels for Laura.  They are two very different women, and touch two very different places in his heart.  It also makes sense that Laura, his fairy tale angel, does not really belong with him long term.  A part of him wishes that they could sustain a relationship, but the rest of him knows it is just a lovely fantasy.  Yet his love for her is so deep that he could not resist the opportunity to bring her back for a short time.  He confessed to her, brokenly, that it was his selfish desire that led him to this point (I was crying buckets at this point – Tony Geary is frickin awesome).  Laura affirmed his decision, while gently rebuking him for once again lying about something important.  Laura is more than his angel, she is his redeemer.  Luke and Laura are a beautiful love story, and ultimately an impractical one.  I think the way it is being handled this time around is very apropos. 

Thanks for reading.  Cheers! 


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