July 3, 2006

Hey Laura, Where Are You Now? 

How many times in the last four years have there been magazine and online speculations about whether or not Genie Francis would ever condescend to come back to GH Ė even if it were only to give TIIC the finger? 

As luck would have it, and if the great viewer response to other veteran returns is any kind of indication, then ABC Daytime is about to feast on a bigass cash cow.  I donít care how much they had to spend, how many aluminum cans they had to recycle or how many third tier actors on other shows have to bite the dust -  Lauraís back! 

Most of the stuff Iíve seen written about the return of Genie Francisí Laura to General Hospital has had a tinge of self-preservation to it.  What I mean is; it seems everyone is being cautiously optimistic about Genieís return.  Why?  Well I for one donít want to be disappointed, thatís for sure.   People were so angry and heartsick with the writing that brought the character of Laura to her current state of mental illness, not to mention the insulting way that she was disposed of by the current writing team that they literally cringe at the thought of what else Guza may have in store for her.  Better to go in expecting absolutely nothing or worse, that the character may be either killed off or rendered totally useless, then to let us get our hopes up.  

And while some of the recent returns of veterans have been handled very well Ė in fact, I appreciate the fact that they have been folded into stories that make a sort of quasi-sense, a lot of peeps are wondering if this is stunt casting at its best.  Donít forget that Luke and Laura were planning on a second wedding when Lauraís breakthrough about her father Rick drove her over the edge. What if she comes around and thinks that itís still her wedding day Ė kind of like a bizarre 50 First Dates sort of thing?   Will Laura reawaken only to tell Luke that she canít possibly love him the way he deserves and tell him thatís itís time for him to fall in love again? How will she handle being a grandmother?  Will her personality be the same?  What if she emerges from her catatonia a laí Jason Morgan and wants nothing whatsoever to do with her family Ė will Sonny provide her with a job like he did with Jase?  Can she operate a sea crane?  

My bottom line is this: whatever the writers dream up for Genie, it seems that she is coming back on her terms.  So if they eff it up, well we know going in that she was on board with it.  And you gotta know that she made them pay out the ass for it.   

You have to respect that.     

Thin Line Between Love and Hate 

If I say Iím enjoying Sonnyís descent into a total breakdown, please donít hate me.  I can do without Emilyís clumsy attempts to have Lainey diagnose him and the Lily stuff is kind of creeping me out, but I like the overall direction the story is taking.  I think the part Iím digging the most is how Iím not quite sure what Ricís gig is yet.  So often the writers hit you over the head with the obviousness of a characterís intentions.  Amidst a ton of eye rolling I usually lose interest midway through because I know exactly how things are going to end up.   

I thought Ric was gas lighting Sonny in an attempt to push him into needing his brother the way that Sonny has needed Jason in the past.  But why?  What is the endgame?   Does he still harbor such deep resentment over being abandoned by their mother that he has to control Sonnyís emotional wellbeing to make himself feel more like a man?  The scenes between Ric and Sonny are full of so many nuances that Iím not sure where to look or what exactly Iím supposed to think.  How Machiavellian is it of Ric to manipulate Sonny into reliving the dark memories of his failed attempts to keep the women in his life safe?  And yet all the while you thereís the dark understanding that he loves his brother and just wants to be loved in return.    

I can do without the violence, or at least let Ric give as good as he gets.  I think in this case, Sonnyís words are actually doing more damage than his fists.  Even though Ric may be consciously goading Sonny on, Sonny has retained some small thread of lucidity to still know how to hurt Ric where it counts.  I donít know how this story will end up, or exactly where itís going, but I am enjoying the ride. 

Random Randomness 

I think Robert LaSardo is one of the best villains in recent GH history and Iím sad to hear that he may not be around much longer.  Iíve finally become accustomed to all the tattoos Ė or at least I thought I hadÖ until the other day.  When Manny ripped off his shirt and Sam was all tied up, it was like I was seeing the devil incarnate.  I know thatís not fair to him, but my reaction to it was so strong that it scared me.  A good kind of scared, a feeling that this guy was made to play this part. 

What are they doing to Lucky?  Are they going somewhere with this drug addiction crap or is it that they just canít seem to write for him?  The poor guy has been the GH whipping boy for the past year.  Sure he got lots of one on one time with Luke, but that pretty much consisted of him lying in a hospital bed and deliberately trying not to react.  He finally got married to his true love and he got like one day to enjoy his post nuptial nookie. Then the train he was traveling on was wrecked in a tunnel and he got buried alive, then impaled (or vice versa Ė whatever).  Next he slipped (?) and hurt his back and for some unexplainable reason, Miracle Hospital was not able to make him all better before the next shift of nurses showed up.   

Now heís paranoid about his wife and Patrick (relax, it was just a fantasy, though you might want to think about adding a pinball machine to your apartment big guy).   Heís hooked on hydrocodone, has used oxycontin as a substitute, and Maxiís stealing drugs for him as foreplay.  Can we give the guy a break?  

Is Ric going to have the hotness for Sam?  I know he wants to be like his big brother or replace Jason as Sonnyís go-to guy, but a line has to be drawn somewhere.  If you think about it, itís damn near incestuous Ė yíknow, all the DNA swapping that goes on between those three guys.  Sonnyís sleeping with Jasonís sister.  Jason was married and presumably slept with Sonnyís sister.  They both did Carly.  Ric kidnapped Carly and let her believe that he had semi-raped her.  Ric was married to Liz who used to Ďpaint the windí with Jason (heeheehee).  Sam slept with Sonny and got pregnant with his child.  Jason was willing to help raise the child as his own and he and Sam do it every time they have Chinese food.  Jason hates Alexis who has a child with Sonny and one with Ric and is his fiancťs mother.  Ric has a kid with Alexis, lost one with Liz and now was last seen memorably leering at this stepdaughter.   

As long as this shit is going on the folks in the GH paternity test department will have mucho job security.  They can proceed with their plan to remodel their bathroom now.  In fact, go ahead and tell them to order the imported ceramic tile.  Itís covered. 

I crack myself up.


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