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KellyB’s Under the Category of “What Were You Thinking?” for Two Hundred, Alex.
My life has changed so completely in the last six months that it’s sometimes hard for me to get a handle on it. For the last 10 years I’ve been living in a small rural community that was the equivalent of a cultural dustbowl. Everyone there was exactly the same. There was nothing going on unless you were into high school football. Actually, that’s not fair. There was a lot of stuff going on, but it was all about fundraisers for everything under the sun. It could be for the cheerleaders to buy new uniforms or for a church group to go to some theme park – or the worst, fundraisers for people who’d suffered from some medical/physical calamity. I hated those. I mean, I felt sorry for the people who’d been in a car accident or had been diagnosed with cancer, but it was the way it was done that really got to me. There’d be barbecue dinners with auctions, golf tournaments, bake sales, raffles – even coffee cans plastered with someone’s face at the IGA checkout. It seemed so depressing in a way. Like it wasn’t bad enough that you were sick, but now everyone in town knew it and that you needed money to boot. I know that the people who were knocking themselves out were good people for doing it, I just hate that they had to do it at all. Sorry – feeling very Holden Caulfield-ish for a minute there. So what is happening this week? God, I moved from one place where nothing happens to a place where everything seems to happen. Lately that hasn’t been too good either. Right now, Ft. Lauderdale is making national news as people across our nation watch in horror as two teen males repeatedly attack a homeless man with a baseball bat. This was all caught on tape – thankfully. I say thankfully because no matter how horrible it was to see as Norris Gaynor was beaten (he later died from the injuries) – it was good because now the lousy little sons-of-bitches that did it can pay the price.
L to R: William Ammons, Thomas Daugherty & Brian Hooks – new mailing address will be the Broward County Florida Correctional Facility – nice. The other thing that happened that was kind of out of the blue was that we had the world’s largest cruise ship, the Queen Mary II, make an unscheduled pit stop in our back yard. Seriously. We live about 2 miles from Port Everglades where all the ships feed into and from our deck on the 3rd floor we can just make out the lights strung across the upper decks and smokestacks. Way cool. Apparently the ship sailing from NYC stopped in Ft. Lauderdale on the first leg of its 38-day trip, picked up some peeps and headed for St. Kits. Only problem was that they only made it about 4 hours out to sea before the crew reported hearing “a loud thud”. With visions of Leo, Kate and a really bigass chunk of ice dancing in their heads, the crew turned the ship around and limped back to Port. It’s kind of cool in a way – they’ll be here until late tonight. We’re gonna go down and watch the departure, honk airhorns and wave after JT gets done with algebra. Corny I know, but it’s a Florida thang!
So is anyone the least little bit surprised about Angelina and Brad being preggers? Their lives are getting to be as predictable as an ABC soap. Thrown together in a contrived situation, insta-chemistry, deny their feelings because one (or both) are married. Break up a marriage, deny that they’re together yet everyone and their dogs just know that you’re boinking each other’s brains out. Then the inevitable happens and the stick turns blue. Cut back to the jilted spouse as they run into the new lovebirds and their little soon to be bundle of joy at every conceivable location in town. Sound familiar?
Asshole(s) of the
week
He doesn't get "all the fuss" over his call to rebuild New Orleans as a "chocolate city."
Pat Robertson on Sunday said that Hurricane Katrina was God’s way of expressing its anger at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences for its selection of Ellen Degeneres to host this year’s Emmy Awards. “By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath,” Robertson said on “The 700 Club” on Sunday. “Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?” (courtesy of Dateline Hollywood) A few parting comments Run, Katie Run! Britney: just dump his chicken-fried ass Lindsay: first you have to admit you have a problem sweetheart.
Smooches babycakes!
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