This week's spoilers used for commentary are compliments of our friends over at SOAPTOWN USA

February 5, 2006

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February sweeps are now in full swing as we see our shows pull out all the stops to get attention turning their way.   As is their typical approach, GH is going for flash and catastrophe while AMC turn inward and works on a more interpersonal level. 

Three revelations will be catapulting characters into places where they really just do not want to be.  First, could Ryan possibly come to Kendall and privately tell her what he knows about Zach?  Well why would he?  That would be far kinder and gentler than our fight club, ready-to-punch-Greenlee guy, wouldn't it?  Nope, he waits for the event of the year, Eric's Mardi Gras Gala, just seconds after Zach gives Kendall a brand new sparkly engagement ring.  Zach walks in on Ryan's dramatic revelation just in time to beg and plead for Kendall to stay with him and go through with their wedding.  Instead, she tells both Ryan and Zach to screw off, plus gives Ethan a piece of her mind as well!

With the week she's about to have, Erica will likely believe she is STILL being drugged.  She learns that New Beginnings will be renamed to New Endings unless she agrees to making Josh her co-host.  Erica then gets the news that it was possibly Josh, not Amanda, who drugged her.  On the tail of THAT, she learns from Tad that... SURPRISE, it's a boy!  The baby she thought she'd aborted all those years ago is alive and grown and exacting a little revenge on his unbirth mother!

Jackson gets an eyeful of his own when he he sees Lily and Jonathan kissing at the gala.  Breaking all of the Romeo and Juliet rules on soaps, both Jack and Ryan decide that Jonathan and Lily should not date, so you can imagine how THAT is going to go.

Lives will change forevah!!!!  There will be mayhem!  Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria...

You know... sweeps!



Todd protests his innocence after the judge sentences him to death;

Did he check to see if it's real dead or just soap dead?  He was dead before, twice in fact, and managed to make do, so what's the fuss?  I figure Todd is safer in prison than he is in his house with Blair around.  Lord help us all if she starts to see red again.

Blair is rushed to the hospital after having a panic attack;

Because Spencer was out from under her skirts for 10 minutes to deliver Margaret's baby?  Can't she even breathe on her own?

Spencer rushes to Blair's side;

Because a panic attack is just deadly, you know.

Todd shares his suspicions about Spencer with Bo;

Let's hope Bo has his hearing aid turned up that day.

Natalie offers John friendship.

John offers Natalie a ride on his lap.


Spencer tells Paige that he fabricated documents implicating her and Bo in falsifying autopsy records and DNA reports;

Is this presented in an, "Oh, and by the way..." fashion?

Blair wants to go home with Spencer;

It will be much easier to sex him up without those pesky kids all over the place, crying because their dad is going to be put to death and all.

Todd asks Dorian to protect Blair;

Yes, please, Dorian, go put a condom on Spencer or something.

Rex impresses Adriana;

Yeah, well, he impresses me too.  Get in line, bitch.

David encounters Devon.

Since we have not yet encountered Devon, I can't really comment except to say I hope this is an alter of David's that will just kick Spencer's ass hard.


Spencer comforts Blair and they end up in a compromising position;

Oh look!  How compromising.  I fell into you!

Paige is unable to tell Bo the truth about Spencer's blackmail;

And that is her misfortune.

Nash compares his romance with Tess to Clint's marriage to Viki.

Ha!  That will go over like a lead balloon (or a Led Zeppelin).


Todd prepares to make a sacrifice for Blair;


Evangeline is upset by Todd's decision;

I smell a "no appeal" choice here.

Paige is tormented by the secret she is keeping;

Good God, which one?  That woman is a magic 8 ball of secrets!  Shake her up and one will float up to the surface.

Blair finds comfort with Spencer;

Is that what they call it now?

John is anxious to get his job back;

One tends to be the first week of the month...  If he can't get his shield back, he'll be mawing on gubment cheese and stale bread for a while.

Cristian questions Natalie's concern.

I'll bet Natalie concerns Cris' questions too.


Blair explains to Spencer why she acted as she did;

Because I'm a whore.  Read the old scripts.

The knowledge that Todd is innocent troubles Paige;

She's just troubled all the time, isn't she?

Cristian challenges Natalie about her feelings;

With his tongue again?

Natalie wonders about Cristian and Evangeline;

Yeah, well it's good to wonder sometimes.

John may get his job back.

Or he may not!



Posing as a prostitute, Carly accompanies Anton back to his hotel room;

Unless she has a job we don't know about, she might want to stretch out and take the money, but then, she's likely got mad alimony coming from Lorenzo and Sonny.

Robert, Robin and Patrick try to develop a serum to fight the disease from Luke's blood plasma;

I hope he's got plenty of it!

Several armed men kidnap Lucky;

What, again??

Sam and Alexis must share a hospital room.

Oh that should be... loud.


Jason and Carly question Anton;

Was it good for you?  Did I charge enough?  Are you interested in Carly too next time?

Elizabeth tells Jason and Carly that the encephalitis is man-made;

Good thing the wimmin are off the hook!

Lucky regains consciousness at a lab in the Maarkam Islands;

"Good Lord!  I'm at the lab in the Maarkam islands!  How did I get here?"

Alcazar tampers with the medical charts;

Does he write "Mr Carly Corinthos" all over them?

Sonny hears Nikolas profess his love for Emily.

Then kills him.  Boom.


Noah and Bobbie save Luke's life;

Well holy smokes!  Bobbie is almost, gasp, commonly seen now!

Emily and Ric defend Sonny to the council of doctors;

How very Faust of them!

Alcazar feels guilty as Lulu gets worse;

But not guilty enough to out himself, I'm guessing.

Elizabeth realizes what Alcazar has done;

I feel a "but" coming on here.

Luke pulls a gun on the doctors, demanding that Lulu be given the antidote.

Well, it's typical Luke, that's for sure.


Luke turns to an unlikely source for help;

A gun?

Robin and Patrick work together to save more lives;

The best aphrodisiac in the world.

Jason and Carly get closer to finding Crylium Industries;

Have they checked the Maarkam islands?  I hear there is some weird shit going on there.

Sinister forces decide Lucky's fate;

Where is Helena when we need her?

Tracy puts a stop to Dillon and Georgie's plans.

No marrying for you!  Go to your room!


Nikolas hears Emily tell him that she loves him;

"You know, not, um, like, um, SonnyLove, but, um, uh, well, like I love my new car or like I love a cute puppy in the window or like I love these kicky boots I'm wearing or like I love a sunny day, on you remember how I love a sunny day, ooooh, Sonny..."

Emily faces an impossible choice;

Nothing like the choice between Nikolas and Zander, right? 

A member of the hospital family loses the fight against the disease;

Awww.  Bye bye Tony.

Jason does not want to go along with Carly's daring plan;

But we all know he will.

Courtney is closer than Jax thinks.

Are you kidding?  Jax actually thinks?  This MUST BE sweeps, then!

Stay Cool Everyone,

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