This week's spoilers used for commentary are compliments of our friends over at SOAPTOWN USA

February 18, 2006


Drama and Intrigue and Body Bags Talking!  Lost Sons and Dead Sons and Dead Wives So Shocking!  Palmer and David and Pills Laced With Strings! These are a few of my favorite things! 

*Sigh*  AMC sho do know how to sweep the sweeps!  What guy doesn't like exploding thingies and falling stuff!  I got to see Jack ignore the advice of everyone around him and get beaned in the head by a beam for his efforts.  I almost choked on my popcorn laughing so hard at that one.  Di dressed like a fish and Julia dressed like a bird and Erica dressed like an angel and Jamie dressed like a turd.  I am so on a rhyming roll here.  There was so much to talk about regarding the grande attire of everyone at the Mardi Gras Gala BEFORE it exploded, but that has been delightfully dusted upon by Katrina in her Easy As ABC column this week and she promises that My Darling Kate will go all out on an All My Schmattes in her column this week!  I'd talk about people's hair, since that's my cup of tea, but there was not anything particularly remarkable.

I did have to look twice at Kendall's photo in Katrina's column, however:

For a minute, I thought this was taken after the ball and Kendall had lost some limbs in the explosion.

Ah, silly me, just the photo angle.

Then I looked at the photo of Opal:

...and did not remember the mass of roses plastered onto her arm.

Ah... silly me, those are behind her.

I'll bet if you were in a slightly altered state and looked at that dress of Opal's, those lace swirllies would start to look like faces and would turn and talk to you. (Yes, truthfully, they do and it's doggoned skeery, OK?, so shut up.)

I'll bet Jill Larson thought she'd never again wear freedom puffs.

Coming up:
Dixie does the obligatory skulking around town that ones does when she's coming back from the dead. That's how we should have known from the beginning that Diana Cole was not Dixie - No Skulking. There is at least a one week skulking rule for all dead people who are coming back to town. Of course, she is very alive when she's bitching out Di for stealing her life (I would pay good money if Di would fire back, "Why not, bitch, you weren't using it!!").  Wouldn't it be loverly if after he learned Dixie was alive, Tad still chose Di?  A good "sticking one's tongue out at one's half sister kick her while she's down" moment if ever I thought of one, so says I.

Cuh-razy Janet is still on the prowl and as if blowing up someone's mansion isn't enough (who's mansion WAS that, anyway?), she steals our little redneck princess, Babe, and her blue blooded offspring, Little A(sshole). A bit of locking Babe & Babe in the bedroom here, a smattering of talking to JR there ("The dingoes didn't eat yo baby, Babe stole him!") and voila! More havoc comes down on Pine Valley. (Has anyone checked on Trevor, lately? )

"Oooh that smell! Can't you smell that smell? Oooh that smell! The smell of death's around you!"

All three shows are stinkin of death for February Sweeps! OLTL finally killed off Margaret Cochran for real and if Dr Truman is to be believe, he brutally murdered her baby as well (and I was actually hoping for a "Blair falls in love with Todd's rape baby" story... damn...). GH went all out and will kill off THREE characters: Tony Jones (and how great was that death scene!!!), Courtney Matthews and Danny McCall. No, as I said last week, Cameron is safe.

AMC ends the possibility of the Cambias heirs ever making nice by killing off Ethan, my poor Simone's true love. Zach, I suppose, was not nearly angst-ridden and bedeviled enough and lord knows we have to have our men sufficiently dark and broody and demonized from within. Now Ethan will die and Zach will be filled with regret over turning his back on his son. Having been denied the fancy, millionaire wedding, I suppose Simone will be relegated to the closet again story-wise. How marvy it would be if Ethan had the foresight to leave a will making Simone the wealthiest woman in Pine Valley.  Nothing would please me more.

But wait!  Why does she need money when Julia the Dragon Slayer is there to comfort her?

Being stuck in a body bag does not exactly leave Krystal with a renewed appreciation for life, but more of a renewed appreciation for death... primarily that of her husband who she blames for ending up in the body bag to start with. I guess when lovins leave you breathless, the EMT's think you are dead. They have little time to bicker over a little toe-tagging amongst friends before learning that Babe and Little A(sshole) are missing.

Everyone seems to know about Josh's parentage except Josh, meaning it's going to explode outward in no time, even though Erica decides to keep the truth to herself.

Kendall and Ryan will be sharing a smoochie the week of the 27th while Zach bonds with Dixie. Sorry little Zendallites. Ryan has to have that daddy scene.



John takes over the plane when the pilot is accidentally killed;

I guess they didn't have one of the little inflatable pilots that steers you to safety, huh?

Cristian accuses Natalie of wanting to buy his paintings because she pities him;

The first time I read that spoiler, I thought it said, "buy his panties" and I tittered like a little girl. 

Adriana is stunned to see Rex with another woman and confronts him.

Someone should tell ol' Adriana the story about "snoozin" and "loozin."

John and Todd survive the plane crash;

Because they are still under contract, duh!

Blair tells Spencer that she is still in love with Todd;

I think he already knew that when he banged her like an eight penny nail, y'think?

Rex and Adriana realize they both jumped to the wrong conclusions about each other.

And the music swells.

John and Todd start a fire and build a shelter in order to survive the night;

As long as it is not a cabin.  Nothing good comes from a cabin on OLTL.

Rex continues to search for his child Paige gave up for adoption;

If you are actually looking for a red herring, what then?

Dorian rushes to to Clint's side after learning about Asa's heart attack.

As any good stalker should!

Nikki tries to get answers from Sam;

*blink*blink*  Sam?  I'm guessing this is the heretofore unknown owner of The Hot Spot?

Starr and Blair get news about Todd;

Unless that news is "he didn't do it," I'm thinking it won't really make any difference.

Paige is not sure she wants Rex to find out the identity of her son.

Yeah, that's dicey.  Like a pregnant woman has to have the obligatory miscarriage threat, anyone looking for a long lost child has to have second thoughts. 

Todd is more determined than ever to prove his innocence;

Once they start sharpening the needle, it does change a person's perspective.

Natalie takes her anger out on Cristian;

Like that's news?

Adriana is infuriated by Dorian's attempt to manipulate her.

Or that?


Jason, Carly and Lucky return to the hospital.

But who's sick and who's not?  Is everyone all antidoted?  I lost track!

Mac tries to reach Felicia in Texas.

Texas is just a big black hole for Felicia.  That woman disappears every time she goes down there.

Jax makes a confession to Courtney.

It's Nikolas' baby! 

Lorenzo makes Skye a promise.

And he seems like a man of his word!

Nikolas' condition continues to worsen.

Because he's not the main man on the show... therefore, no serum for you, noble man!

Carly returns home and is in for a shock.

She does tend to make a habit of walking in on Sonny when he's scrunchin the monkey on his new woman, doesn't she?

Monica's reunion with Jason is cut short when there is a crisis with Maxie.

Well, blast... just when you get a good reunion going, some whiner needs cardiac care.

Sonny and Emily finally take their relationship to a new level;

Sage's nausea also reaches a whole new level, past chunks and into hard, dry heaves.

Sam fears that she is losing the battle against the disease;

Maybe if she'd keep her ass in bed like she's told, she'd get a battle edge going.

Noah and Robert receive a mysterious package.

And Holly's in it!!  Ta da!

Elizabeth and Kelly work hard to revive Courtney, who has major complications

Kelly?  *blink*blink*  Monaco?  Cramer?  Clarkson?  I'm lost.

Courtney dies but not before she issues a request to Jax.

"Please don't follow me here too, you persistent jackass."

Holly is back in town and she makes her presence known.

Can we keep Robert and lose Holly?  Please?

News of Courtney's death spreads.

As news of a main character's death tends to do (I'm sure news of Danny's death remained localized).

Ric takes a turn for the worst and Alexis tries to stay in control.

Since when?

Emily races to be with Nikolas.

Should she been doing all that racing and sexing when she just collapsed on the hospital floor (likely a really germy assed place to be)?

Robin collapses. 

Emily will collapse!  Robin will collapse!  We'll all collapse!  It'll be anarchy!

Mike pushes Sonny away after learning about Courtney;

For once, I am hard pressed to see how this one can be blamed on Sonny.

Carly wants to help Jax raise John.

Meh, she's not doing anything but telling everyone else what to do, why not domineer a baby?

Sam is by Danny's side as he gently passes away;

Ready the Kleenex!

Still reeling from Courtney's death, Sonny shares an emotional moment with Ric who is hanging on by a thread.

Since his siblings are falling like flies, might be a good time to visit the Chapel o' Lies.

Sam is devastated and Jason is unable to console Sam who lashes out.

Well someone let her grieve already!

Morgan spikes a fever at home and we see an appearance by Audrey Hardy but under bad circumstances.

I would think they were killing her off as well, but I heard there were only three.

Jax and Carly learns that baby John has the virus;

Oh that is just a bummer! 

Carly gives blood in the hope it will lead to developing a cure.

There are babies at risk!  Pump that blood!  Poor Luke was drained dry, let's bleed Carly a little!

It feels like old times for Robert and Luke who race against the clock to save more than one citizen of PC.

Whooo hooo!

The virus takes its toll on Sam when she collapses when arguing with Alexis.

See?  Running around bothering other people and God SMITES her down.

A mother fears she will lose her child.

Awww.  Carly isn't having a good week!

Emily reaches out to a somber Sonny.

Don't worry, Em.  He'll still put out.

Carly takes off on a mission after encountering Robert and Luke;

How's she taking care of John in the hospital if she's missioning?

Sam, Ric and baby John grow weaker;

Coincidence?  I think not.

Ric and Sonny make peace with each other.

At least until Ric is better and Sonny can treat him like shit again without guilt.

Robert and Luke come face to face with a familiar face.

The Holly Face.

Monica gives Jason ominous news.

I... can't imagine what this is.

Tracy breaks down.

You have to hate it when your Tracy breaks down.  You just can't get good Tracies any more.

Alexis does some soul searching at Ric's bedside.

Does she find one?

Jax stands vigil outside ICU where he is surrounded by more than one worried parent.

Yes, it looks like it has become quite a busy little place lately.

Luke and Jason decipher the clue Carly left for them;

But since she took the Dick Tracy decoder ring with her, they have no luck.

Jason and Carly find what they are looking for;

Better writers?

Patrick has advice for Lainey.

Run, don't walk.

Stay Cool Everyone,

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