This week's spoilers used for commentary are compliments of our friends over at SOAPTOWN USA

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For the Week of June 5, 2006

One Life to Live
Monday, June 5
John and Hugh learn that the bodies identified as Margaret and her child are corpses from a morgue in Kentucky;

That is some really fast action on Spencer's part.  I wonder if he ordered them up in advance  to keep in cold storage until he could make his move.  I wonder how he just happened to find someone dead enough who resembled Margaret sufficiently that John would not question the identity.  I wonder who would win in a fight between Spencer Truman and Spiderman...

Spencer tells Paige he will destroy Bo if she tells what she knows;

Yeah, yeah, Spencer Truman:  Destroyer of Worlds.

Dorian refuses to help David break out of jail;

Somehow, I think if Dorian were to bake a cake with a file in it, it would be a medical file.

Michael is troubled.

Troubled, perhaps, to think that maybe Tommy is Margaret's missing baby?

Tuesday, June 6
Nash tells Tess the truth about Reston's threats;

That should be enough incentive to get Jessica on the move to taking over.

Tess assures Brennan that Jessica will be a good mother;

Especially since it was actually Tess who almost burned down Jamie a while back.

John eases Natalie's worries;

The only way to do that would be to knock her out and I'm all for it.

Dorian asks John about the case against David;

Does he ease Dorian's worries too?

Adriana urges David to confess if he is guilty.

I will love it if it turns out that David did not actually fire the shot.  I'm betting David shot, but Spencer was there and actually fired the fatal bullet... if there was a fatal bullet at all.  For all we know, Thomas McBain is alive in Bangkok and drunk ass Paige was operating on a cadaver from the medical college (or from Kentucky - the drive through corpse take out capital of the world).  Wouldn't that just be a kick in the pants?

Wednesday, June 7
Bo tries to jog Margaret's memory;

*poke*  "Do you remember?"  *poke*  "Do you remember?"  *poke*

Margaret agrees to submit to medical tests;

Being poked with needles has to be better than being poked by Bo.

Blair wants forgiveness;

Yeah, well, Blair wants, Blair wants, Blair friggin wants...

David tries to blackmail Spencer;

David, know when your pimp hand is NOT strong, boy.

Jessica holds her daughter and is reunited with Antonio, Viki and Clint;

And... Sage instantly loses all interest.

Nash urges Claudia to help him.

Good luck on that, Nash.  Pfft.

Thursday, June 8
Blair wants her old life back;

Yeah, well, Blair wants, Blair wants, Blair friggin wants...

Jessica has a breakthrough when Tess does not re-emerge;

So does that mean Tess had a breakthrough for all those months when Jessica did not emerge?  Sounds to me like Tess did all the work there.

Antonio tells Jessica he will always be there for her;

Where?  So I can stay away from where ever "there" is.

Nash tells Clint he will not walk away from his family;


Cristian learns that Vincent bought his contract.

You gotta hate it when people can buy and sell you on a whim.

Friday,  June 9
Blair is desperate to learn the truth about Spencer;

Why should she let something as dumb as the truth stop her now?

Bo tries to dissuade Blair from her potentially dangerous plan;

Continuing to bang Spencer?

Bo and Hugh set a trap for Spencer;

Knowing these two, it probably involves a box propped up with a stick on a string and Bo and Hugh scrunched up around the corner saying, "C'monnnn, c'monnn."

Spencer comes face to face with Margaret;

It might help if they include the bloody baseball bat.

Cristian clashes with Vincent;

It's a good thing Evangeline can't see which one is hottest.

Kevin is drinking again.

Shouldn't that read "still?"  Did he ever stop? 

General Hospital

Monday, June 5
Emily is disturbed to find Sonny digging in the garden in the middle of the night;

Why in the world would it bother her that he's ripping up astro turf with a pick axe?  When this follows right on the heels of "took out a hit on my brother," wouldn't "disturbing be particularly relative?

Alexis confronts Sonny about his death threat;

Confronting people who threaten your life, then lie about it (especially those who are known for making people disappear without a trace) is NOT a sign of bright behavior.

Elizabeth urges Jason to let Sam back into his life;

So they will be just shut up and leave her alone.

Lulu takes the money from Diego;

I am praying that it's without Diego's knowledge or consent.

Robin defends Mac from criticism.

Because we all know Robin holds the license on who does and does not deserve criticism.

Tuesday, June 6
Sam tries to get Jason to declare his love;

For Sonny?

Ric tells Alexis he wants to become Sonny's right-hand man;

Ew.  That just sounds... ew. 

Manny spies on Sam;

Speaking of Sam, did anyone else find the look that ol' Ric was throwing Sam from the couch, while she was flaunting her transparent nightgown, to be a little disturbing?  (More so than whether or not Sonny does moonlight gardening?)

Jax and Carly have a change of heart about telling Nikolas the truth;

They have hearts?  Musta missed it.

Nikolas rejects Helena's plan for him to get an heir.

Maybe she can take one from Nathan Arizona and his wife.  They got more'n they kin handle.

Wednesday, June 7
Emily invites Lainey over to get her professional opinion about Sonny's behavior;

Oh, that's... I'm trying to find a better adjective than "illegal," but none is turning up.

Sonny confronts Emily when he figures out what she is up to;

To the moon, Alice!

Nikolas snips a lock of John's hair for a DNA test;

HAHAHAHA!  Helena said "heir," Nikolas, not "hair."  Dumbass.

Lulu plans to blackmail Luke.

She is definitely a devious little imp, she is.

Thursday, June 8
Emily suggests that Sonny may be suffering from a treatable mental illness;

Let's hope that when he gets treated, he realizes that he needs a long, long cruise to recover... on V and Simon Prentiss Cruiselines...  with Emily...

Sam pretends to be in danger to get Jason to come to her rescue;

What?  She sleeps with Sonny again?

Carly wants to make sure Jax remains John's father;

That's hard to do when he's never been John's father. 

Elizabeth asks Jason for a favor.

"Can I have the jacket since you don't wear it now?"

Friday,  June 9
Robin catches Carly sneaking about the hospital, and later realizes what she is up to;

Because Robin knows absolutely flippin everything.

Jason knows that Sam is trying to manipulate him;

He didn't get to be mob leader by being dumb, despite the public consensus.

Sam is not as safe as she thinks;

And crying wolf does not work out well in Port Charles.

Sonny makes another slip in front of Emily;

And we all know she hates when he's sewing up lingerie.

Lucky asks Maxie for more pills.

At least someone found a purpose for her.  Why oh why is it that Robyn Richards is evidently the only actress capable of making Maxie look anything but stupid?

See you next week!

Stay Cool Everyone,

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