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April 1, 2007
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5 Plot holes in the current Cassadine Caper
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Cassadines are born
with a natural immunity to all poisons. In fact, they develop new poison
strains by drawing their own blood and bottling it.
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Alfred is a
practiced eavesdropper and probable kung fu master. By now, Mr. Craig
should be immobilized and tied up in the Bat Cave.
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No one has asked
Sonny, the wise and good mobster of Port Charles, for advice yet.
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Jason’s too busy
gazing longingly at Elizabeth’s womb to come to the rescue.
And the #1 plot hole is……
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With neither Sonny,
Jason, nor Carly involved, the storyline is doomed.
See Carly, Jax is totally attuned to your
needs! He’s just proven how much by throwing you a prom--the perfect
present for a woman whose maturity level is stuck in high school. I wish my
man understood me that well. May I suggest “Please Forgive Me” for the slow
dance and that Carly should be begging Jax on her knees as it plays?
Because really, I don’t know why he’s even trying to keep her.
If Sonny and Jason need a secret
headquarters, they should use the catacombs. Nobody’s been down there since
Sonny and Brenda made sweet love while trying not to suffocate. Maybe they
can sniff around and see if Frisco’s still in hiding while they’re burying
coffee shipments. Georgie and Maxie deserve their own scenes confronting
absentee dads—why do Robin and Lulu get to have all the fun?
Do you smell something chemical in the air?
I do, and I think it’s the sparks flying off Alexis Davis and Mr. Craig.
I’m not sure that Alexis could survive another pairing with a villain but
Mr. Craig is so hard to hate. Perhaps he can become the next in a long line
of GH good and bad twins. He’d be joining the esteemed ranks of Ryan and
Kevin Chamberlain, Luis and Lorenzo Alcazar, and Manny and Mateo Ruiz. How
about James and Jacob Craig?
We already assumed Sam has used other
identities and know that her past is checkered. So why is this the focus of
her new storyline? And seriously, Sam is not an “everyday hero.”
Girlfriend can’t hold a job longer than her first paycheck cashes. She
doesn’t even visit her mother who just lost custody of her little sister and
is still suffering from cancer. What exactly is heroic about this
character? At most, she’s a “lucky she got out alive hero.” So she jumped
from a building and ran towards safety screaming about a bomb. Somehow, I
think any of the other hostages would have done the same if they had gotten
out first. At least Sam knows she doesn’t deserve the attention as her
humility in interviews is rivaling that of American Idol’s Melinda Dolittle.
If Stan is going to remain a periphery
character, then why recast him for the third time? I guess I shouldn’t
complain, as I do like the newest version of Stan, populist revolutionary of
the net. I think it fits the little we know about him courtesy of his mama,
Epiphany. He’s an intelligent young man who’s capable of a whole lot more
than wiring money for mobsters. Stan’s new rhetoric fits that
characterization and also leaves room for him to someday realize that the
mob, in its own way, is also the “man” against which he rebels. I’d like
Sonny to be betrayed by his only staff member who doesn’t carry a gun.
Heck, I’d just like Sonny to be betrayed and actually do some time. And
then he could come back as his good twin, Santos.
I think I’ll save myself some time next week,
rent The Departed to see how the new mob storyline will play out, and take a
nap during Cooper and Cruz’s scenes. Somebody wake me when it’s over.
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