July 11, 2007  

I’ve created a special prix fixe menu in honor of the new additions to the opening credits.  For appetizers, sample a selection of army rations and potato chips, hand-selected by a rather quirky fellow with a funny name.  The main entrée is a broiled chicken breast, seasoned with a little lemon juice and guaranteed to be low on fat so you can fit in the newest Valentino.  For dessert, we have a devious devil’s food cake, smooth and well mannered on the outside but possibly poisonous if you take a peek past the frosting.  I hope you enjoy these additions to our regular selection!  

Dillon exits stage right and makes me want to kick him on his way out.  Four years and a marriage with Georgie but he’s torn up about leaving Lulu?  I can understand that he feels connected to her because of her abortion but the girl lied to him and broke up his marriage!  I’ll always have a soft spot for Georgie and Dillon because they were my only enjoyment during the years of doom and gloom I call “When the Mob Ate My Show,” otherwise known as  my 2002-2005 hiatus.  I’d randomly drop by Port Charles for an hour and be mesmerized by these two shiny kids whose names I didn’t know. Georgie deserves better than an ex-husband who’d rather beg for scraps from Lulu’s table than give her a proper goodbye. Dillon, you can come back once your favorite director’s knocked you down a few pegs because his coffee was too cold.   

Don’t get me wrong; I’m happy Dillon gets to follow his dream.  I’m probably just bitter that Ned came to him, not me.  Ned, honey, you can make my dreams come true anytime. 

It’s amazing how Carly can make Jason’s imprisonment all about her.  She pays lip service for how horrible things will be for him but then launches into the same old story she’s always spinning.  “I’ll go crazy without you Jason.  How can I possibly act like an adult if you aren’t here to hold my hand?  How can I remain faithful to my husband if you don’t keep me on a leash?  How will I wipe my own ass without you?”  Carly’s breakdown last year did help her grow up a tad, but I think Lainey forgot the session on empathy.  

Maxie and Logan seem to be cut from the same cloth as the young Carly who seduced her own mother’s husband.  Both are hellbent on destroying other people’s lives in order to make their own seem less miserable by comparison.  Despite the tasteless sex bet, I enjoy watching their growing attraction.  Sadly, I think Logan’s the only one who’s going to come out of this with the “good” person he wants.  Lulu will forgive him for the bet since she will have connected with him emotionally by then but I doubt Cooper will be able to do the same.  Maxie’s ruining her chance at a nice, sweet guy who’s crazy for her just because she’s drawn to the wild side.  Run from Logan while you still can Maxie; the bad boys never work out well.  Just ask Brenda. 

The Night Shift must have a limitless budget for hospital wear.  I think I’ve seen more colors of  scrubs this week than could fill a jumbo box of Crayolas . 

I really don’t understand why Jason, and by default Liz, don’t want to prosecute the crazy chick who stole their baby.   Yeah, yeah, I was on a soapbox about empathy but a few short paragraphs ago but this goes a little beyond that.  It’s one thing to understand why she did it and another to leave an unstable woman alone with a child.   I guess Jason’s piercing blue eyes saw right into her soul, yet another one of the superpowers born out of his brain damage.  He really should have thanked AJ for the accident that helped him realize his true potential.  All it took was a little time communing with a tree. 

Showdown #1:  Sam vs. Sonny.    I was ready for these two brawlers to break out the hair pulling.  Sam took her time just watching Sonny talk and forming her own arguments.  I think she’s taking debate lessons from her mother.  The victory was hers when she dubbed the Mobtastic Trio “The Chosen Ones.”  So true, Truth-Telling One, so true.  Sam advances to the next round. 

Showdown #2:  Sam vs. Carly.  Sam gets the first point for calling out Carly on barging into her home, yet again.  But Carly’s right, Jason’s going to drop Sam like she’s Ric in a parking garage.  This match goes to Carly, no question.   

I’m simmering a batch of chicken soup to soothe Tracy’s sonless soul in the Shadybrook kitchen, so stop on by for a bowl.   She’d really appreciate it if you could smuggle in a key to her room.  And a liter of bourbon, while you’re at it.

The Gourmez