|
|
July 16, 2008
The news is out! It will be an Italian feast
for Kate Howard’s reception. Do you think I can get the catering contract
with a delicate prosciutto-flecked gnocchi or would the “retired” mobster
prefer a simple spaghetti with marinara? So little time, so much recipe
testing!
This week’s Pearl of Wisdom comes from none
other than Carly Jacks! In her words, “It’s perfectly okay to cheat on your
husband as long as you’ve cheated with the same man before. It doesn’t
count if you’ve done it already; that’s just a redo! But kissing lips that
have never touched yours, well, that’s unforgivable. Until I do it, then I’m
sure I’ll figure out why that’s okay, too. But only for me. Or Sonny. Or
Jason. Or me with Sonny and Jason. Bye now!
Does Carly even make sense to herself
anymore? For a few brief moments over the past three years since her mental
breakdown, I thought that she had, maybe, just maybe, matured a little.
Well, if she had, then she’s regressed back into a larval state and it’s not
entertaining. It’s like the past 10 years of my life are on a loop and
everywhere I turn, Carly’s yapping to Jason with her hands on her hips and a
pout on her face.
May I just take this moment to share with you
that the funeral of Jesse Helms made me miss the return of Noah Drake. What
the frak? Okay, okay, I live in North Carolina, but still, I don’t remember
the death of congressmen interrupting my soaps when I lived in California.
And also, apparently Lulu killed Logan. At least I think that’s what all
the shrieking is about.
I did not add any points to my tally
of “bitch” or “whore” this week but Anthony called Claudia a tramp or slut
at least 5 times while she revealed to us that Trevor had taken advantage of
her as a teenager. That’s right, Anthony, she was taken advantage of, even
if she was a willing participant. Sixteen does not consent make, especially
when one partner is much older and well, skeevier. Was Trevor sleeping with
his boss’ daughter around the same time he started his affair with Kate? He
definitely likes them young.
Back to Anthony, I cannot relate how sad it
makes me when he’s playing the role of the abusive, misogynistic father to
Claudia. It takes away all my joy at the campiness of Bruce Weitz’
performance! I can’t even grin at his pronunciation of LooLoo when he’s
just been telling his daughter what a slut she is for sleeping with his
attorney when she was an adolescent. Who else wants to pick Claudia up and
ship her off to a group support home for women who are sexually abused and
strangely obsessed with their brothers? I don’t find her storyline or any
presently surrounding the Zaccharas to be good soapy fun, just uncomfortably
sick. Somehow the Cassadine dysfunction always comes off a little less
repulsively. Maybe because Helena’s always wearing shiny jewelry to
distract me. Ooh, sparkly. Who cares if it can freeze the world?
I have no idea why people (LooLoo) are still
acting as though there’s anything between Claudia and Nikolas. I think
they’ve talked once since she miraculously healed from her stabbing. Sure,
there was flirtation involved but really, not much of a cause for concern.
But then, Lulu’s not exactly the brightest bulb lately. Case in point, how
she reacted to seeing Logan beat up Maxie. First of all, she answered her
cell phone when he called. Zoinks, Scooby, I think I saw a numbskull! And
then she follows that up by trying to call the girl who’s just been knocked
out rather than the police or an ambulance. Then, once the deed of
self-defense has been done, she agrees to a cover-up, even though it’s
obvious he knocked down the door and Maxie could corroborate that he was in
a violent rage. They are called Spencer genes, girl, use them!
On the romance beat, there were sparks galore
this week! If I doubted that Spinelli and Maxie could actually be a couple,
I’m sold now. I must admit, I can also still see the energy flow between
Robin and Jason. She does have more chemistry with Patrick presently but if
this parental rights storyline doesn’t end soon, then I’ll be ready for
something new for Dr. Wee One. I think the court case may be the climax of
the storyline but at this point, ending it outright would be a mercy
killing.
I’m always impressed when there’s an outfit
wretched enough that even I can tell it’s a fashion faux pas. Carly’s white,
green and black backless dress is definitely one of those. From the front,
I could almost delude myself into thinking it was a normal, even stylish
dress. One look at that sports bra-like back, though, and the charade was
up. Dear Wardrobe Department, we want to fantasize about wearing these
clothes, not dousing them with lighter fluid and throwing a match.
Next week’s specials will include a
deconstructed borscht with wedges of dark rye bread layered with cabbage
steeped in beef broth, fried onions and potatoes, and topped with a thick
slice of roasted beet. I hope you enjoy it as much as the newest visitor to
town will!
The Gourmez
|