September 19, 2007  

This weekís special just in!  Sink your teeth into a Forbidden Flesh Filet MignonóLucky agrees that itís extra juicy if youíre really hungry.  Plus, you get a free dip in the hot tub when you place an order. 

I think GH has forgotten that women are its primary viewers.  Theyíve brought in two sets of playboy bunnies, have insisted on flaunting all of Kelly Monacoís assets in bikinis or itty-bitty shirts and dresses, and refuse to let Carly wear clothes with a back.  At least weíve gotten plenty of shirtless Lucky and Logan to even the rankings, but if I have to watch another fantasy of Spinelliís involving squealing girls, I might just puke. 

Luluís blind faith in Logan needed to take a fall; Iím just surprised it happened so fast!  One minute, sheís begging Jason to let her boyfriend keep his job, the next, sheís moving in with him because she understands him SO WELL, and then, sheís off and running into strange menís cars!   Elizabeth had it right, though, Luluís just acting like a Spencer.  Iíve got to wonder where sheís learned Spencer behavior because she doesnít seem to spend any time with the family.  Wouldnít it be nice if she say, shared a scene with Bobbie or Leslie or Lucky once in awhile?  Of course, itíd also be nice if she didnít keep it a secret from her brother that heís raising another manís child but there I go again, trying to rationalize a soap opera.  Thatís sure to give you a headache. 

Liz gives such mixed messages to Lucky.  Protect our family, but I donít want you to make sure we get to work, school, and daycare okay.  Letís work on our marriage, but Iím not going to kiss you and try to feel anything for you.  Lucky had her pegged when he said that she wants him to do something to end the marriage.  Sheís not happy but she doesnít want to be the one who gets the blame for calling it quits.   And so Luckyís finally decided, ďwhat the hellĒ and heís giving Liz her wish.  Luckily for him, that wish is dressed up in a skimpy bikini.  It had to hurt when Liz pointed out that heís cheating on her with ďyet another tramp.Ē  Sheís right about that--for someone who supposedly adores Liz, Lucky has cheated on her quite a bit.  Regardless, I still donít buy that sheís really willing to try to work on the marriage.  She checked out the moment she saw him with Maxie for the 2nd time and except for stopping in long enough to remarry Lucky, she hasnít been back since.  At first, it was because she couldnít trust him but then she fell for Jason.  Itíd be rough to be married to one man while youíre in love with another. 

And as for Lucky and SamóI like it.  I know they both have ulterior motives but Iím honestly just happy to have someone give Lucky a bit of appreciation.  Heís not a bad guy and he gets made out to be one in comparison to the woman whisperer, Jason.  As a result, Luckyís got a hero complex that Sam is willing to feed.  Itís a match!  At least itís healthier than the constant back and forth sniping between Liz and Lucky.   Iím pulling for Lucky and Sam to fall in love slowly in spite of their initial reasons for hooking up.  And if Liz decides to jump on the Jason train, thatís fine with me too.  LnL2, itís time to call it quits and move on while either of you have any dignity left.  

Thankfully, Logan and Scott are doing a paternity test.  Can they get a discount if Alexis and Sam do one at the same time?  Because we only have circumstantial evidence that they are mother and daughter, and if it were me, Iíd demand proof before claiming that girl as my blood.  Iíd also need an explanation as to how I carried a child when I was two years old, but still, I donít know why Alexis didnít insist on one before accepting Sam.   Maybe she just got distracted with the cancer that was, then wasnít.  Or perhaps The Powers are holding it as an ace-in-the-hole if inappropriate Cassadine chemistry ever blossoms between Nik and Sam.   They could just say, ďOops, we arenít really cousins after all!  Letís get it on!Ē 

I applaud Robin and Patrickís decision to break-up.  Having children is definitely something both parties have to want.  Sure, an accidental child can happen and both parents can fall in love with it, but there may still be lingering regrets.  Itís so much better to bring a child in the world when you want it and are ready to give yourself over to it.  Robinís there; Patrick isnít and Iím glad they realize it now rather than later.  I still think these two are going to end up together in a few months but Iím grateful for a breakótheir bickering was slowly but surely piercing my eardrums.   Plus, it was sweet to hear Jason tell Robin that sheís not easy to forget.  Almost brought a tear to my eye.  Those two were good once.  I couldnít picture them together now, though, but Patrickís jealousy when Jason dropped her off at work?  Priceless. 

I also applaud Kateís handling of both Trevor and Sonny.  They keep insisting that she choose sides and she decides to choose neither of them and focus on Couture instead.  You go girl.  Too bad neither man is able to respect womenís decisions.  Is Trevor where Sonny learned his ďYouíre either with me or against meĒ attitude?   

Will Georgie ever be allowed to be with someone that isnít obsessed with Lulu?  Maybe they could bring on a new character just for her rather than yet another one to interact with the Blond One.  I guess Lulu canít have any less than four admirers at any given time.  Maybe sheís also the Chosen One and any fewer men lusting after her would result in a Hellmouth swallowing Port Charles whole. 

Can I join Sam and Maxieís BFF club?  I donít have any revenge sex stories to share but Iíd be happy to just listen in as they gab and paint toenails.   

And for the record, Iím going to have a really hard time not confusing Johnny Zacharra with Johnny, the bodyguard, may he rest in peace. 

Next week, Iím working on a three-tier chocolate divorce cake and am going to invite Liz and Lucky by for a taste.  I hope itís so sinfully delicious that they canít resist diving in and finishing it off.  Any flavor suggestions?

The Gourmez