October 3, 2006

This week’s dish of General Hospital was a bit too heavy on the pregnancies for my taste buds.  When four different characters on one soap opera have been pregnant in the course of a month (assuming Maxie’s soon to be showing off even larger cleavage), it’s time to start thinking of new storylines.  I’m not even counting the two births in the last year!  Emily, Robin, and Georgie are the only female regular players who haven’t been pregnant in the recent past.  As a woman who sees no appeal in childbirth or rearing, I can’t say there’s many women-driven storylines on my screen these days that I find intriguing. 

Perhaps The Powers That Be finally realized they needed more DNA in the next generation’s biological gene pool.  Of the six little ones on canvas, Sonny adopted one and shares bloodlines with four others.  That’s got to be quite the army of little mobsters roaming the playground.   I wonder if they get a cut of the sand importation business?  I imagine Michael threatens to call his personal assassin every time a kid cries about losing their lunch money.  No wonder he has no friends. 

Think about it.  Who will these little ones sleep with when they grow up and inevitably experiment at PCU?  Technically, Michael could make the love with Molly and Kristina as he shares no blood with them.  After this summer, we know the writers won’t shy away from any pairing, no matter how close to incest it gets.  Morgan?  He’ll never get laid unless one of the newborns is a girl.  He’ll be forced to start making eyes at Cameron across the teeter-totter.  I’d love to see Sonny with a gay kid.  Imagine the inner turmoil when he realizes his own son came to terms with his sexuality when he, the big bad mobster man, couldn’t face it. He’ll shatter a whole Crate and Barrel worth of decanters over his wasted years with Jason.  They don’t make lithium strong enough to suppress that! 

I know that Lucky’s a drug addled idiot these days, but gosh darn it, I’m still rooting for him.  That’s the joy of soap operas.  It doesn’t matter if your true love sleeps with his drug dealer, shoots you through the head, or plots to have you killed—you move on and get back together.  After the crying at Audrey’s door and his showered up pleas before rehab, I was firmly on Lucky’s side.  He just needs to break out the guitar and sing a little of “Elizabeth” to seal the deal.  If Liz doesn’t cave at first strum, I fear she may have been replaced with a Jason-loving robot.  At least Lucky changes his clothes once in awhile…and doesn’t kill people for a living.  Oh, wait, I forgot.  Killing people isn’t as bad as doing drugs.  How could I dare suggest otherwise?  My General Hospital brainwashing wore off for a second there.  Apologies folks, apologies. 

Could someone please inform the broadcasters that Jason and Sam scenes got stuck on pause?  They should really forgo the meeting on rooftops bit and just program their cell phones to text each other the same message daily.  It would sure save time.  I might be able to handle the eternal rehashing if they only had legitimate reasons for the trust issues.  A little hurt is understandable, but the fact remains that they weren’t dating at the time of either one-nighter.  I believe Jason had broken up with Sam about 50 times by then.  There was no trust broken, no betrayal.  Just two people whom were no longer dating getting some cold comfort from two other people.  The real drama here isn’t between Sam and Jason, it’s between Ric, Alexis, Sam and Jason, Lucky, Liz. 

This week’s recipe was full of angst, a little romance, and way too many incubating babies.  I’d rate it a hearty helping of meatloaf from the hospital cafeteria.  Here’s hoping next week is a richer blend of storylines. 

The Gourmez