December 25, 2006  

It’s a holiday menu this week.  Maxie took her gingerbread baby out of the oven already.  Alexis is experimenting with a new herb that’ll make any stuffing taste delicious.  If fruitcake’s what you prefer, then I know this nanny who’s looking for a new job… 

Maxie is ballsy.  Very few bad girls would willingly throw themselves down stairs.  It’s even more risky when you consider how very many ways her beloved Pillow could have been discovered before she had a chance to unstuff it.  I pulled for the scheme to work merely because it was so improbable.  Sure, you could say she did it out of stupidity but I say Maxie’s just willing to give her quest for Lucky all she’s got, even at the risk of discovery.  Desperate times and all that.  Poor Lucky; there’s few things more traumatizing than losing your pillow.  I can really see this all working out for Maxie.  She’ll get Lucky right when Liz decides she wants him back—maybe after Cameron gets a bullet in his Easter basket courtesy of Jason’s enemies?  I’m thinking May sweeps.   

The stairs of Port Charles may have more clout than any other fixture, actors included.  The moment a character gets pregnant, I’m sure their leader, the Q’s staircase, marches into Guza’s office and lays it on the line.  “This pregnant lady is going to take a tumble or we’re walking out.  Got it?”   Guza has to submit.  How would he create pregnancy drama without them? 

Scrubs are much more enjoyable when you skip ahead immediately after hearing  “AIDS” or “HIV.”  I thought those were some lovely scenes about renting Patrick an apartment.  Those two are adorable and he got the room so easily!  What’s that you say?  There was an idiot landlord?  I never saw that.  Just two people who leased an apartment and then made whoopee.  Ignorance is bliss.  If fast forwarding doesn’t work for you, make it a drinking game instead.  You’ll be looking forward to that shot the next time Robin says “endstage.”   

Bobbie’s hair has been gorgeous lately.  It’s such a vibrant shade of red—very seasonal!  I’m glad Carly finally mentioned that Jerry almost married her mother.  It needed to be said.  Of course, I’d prefer if mother and daughter had a good chuckle over almost being sisters-in-law, but asking for history to be addressed is but a Christmas fantasy on this show.  Instead, Carly spews the line out with lightning speed and then, two scenes later, we have Jax saying that Jerry’s never had a serious relationship.  I hope he doesn’t say that again when his future mother-in-law is within earshot.  He’d fall out of Bobbie’s favor real fast. 

My favorite line of the week: “I’m way too sick to prosecute myself.”  Nancy Lee Grahn is so good at the deadpan delivery of her lines.  I think it may be why I love Alexis so much.  She gets such gems to say and just says them simply, letting the humor grab you all on its own.  I also learned my peer pressure lesson from Sam, who basically bullied Alexis into trying the marijuana.  It was a flashback to DARE classes in the 6th grade for me.  I think I too played the pressuring friend during one of our exercises.  Sam should have told Alexis that all the cool kids were doing it.  It works like a charm every time.  

Next week we’re serving up a tasty risotto of parsley and babynapper, complemented with a nice glass of Tattooed Priest, a rare vintage.  It’s sure to satisfy all your needs for villainy, but just in case you need a little extra kick, there’s an evil grandmother lurking out of sight.  Enjoy!