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GENERAL HOSPITAL: HOMEWORK
By Hit 'N' Run

 

Algebra 101

            Problem:

                        Sonny = Jason

                        Sonny + Children  =  Coma

                        Jason + Children  =     ?

           

Earn extra credit if you can reach the following seemingly implausible answer (show your work):

                        Jason + Children  =  Safe

 

Architecture 101

            Critique:

Consider designing more than one bedroom for the mansion, so there is somewhere other than the room shared with a dead fiancť to put guests that wash ashore.

                       

Chemistry 101

            See if you can successfully repeat these experiments:

                        Patrick + Monkey

                                    Result: The real Patrick

                        Lucky & Luke

                                    Result: Hug with genuine feeling

                        Alexis & Truffles

                                    Result: Decadent humor

                        Nik & Anyone

                                    Result: Removal of tumor releases smokiní chemistry 

            Do not attempt this experiment again:

                        Carly + Mounting + Sonny

                                    Result: Retinal damage

                                                 

Humanities 101

            Essay question: 

Defend Carlyís position that it was better for Michael to shoot Kate than to shoot one of his friends or his brother.  Explore the following issues.  Better for Kate?  Better for Morgan?  Better for the friend?  Better for Michael?  Or better for Carly?  Rate the value of each of these characters lives.

 

Music 101

            Listen to the following duets:

                        Patrick & Robin

                                    The recordís stuck, the recordís stuck, the recordís stuck

                        Jason & Liz

                                    The recordís stuck, the recordís stuck, the recordís stuck                   

                        Lulu & Johnny

                                    The recordís stuck, the recordís stuck, the recordís stuck

                        Alexis & Jerry

                                    The recordís stuck, the recordís stuck, the recordís stuck

            Due to technical difficulties, this assignment is cancelled.

 

Nursing 101

            Choose one of these characters as your patient:

                        Anna Devane

                        Logan Hayes

                        Sam McCall

                                    Simulation:     Your patient is missing.  You discover them alone and in distress.  They  look up at you and say: ďMy storyline has fallen, and canít get up!Ē

                                    What would you do?

           

Philosophy 101        

Situation:                    Everyone knows Jerry is a sadistic sociopath, but he is allowed to walk free, and love freely, because the actor is terrific and has sizzling chemistry with his leading lady.

                                                                       

For discussion:         What is the probability of Mr. Craig renouncing sociopathy for love of a brother and a good woman?  Is this a disturbing message or a completely plausible occurrence?  Also address the choice to use Jerry shooting Robin for the Memorial Day re-run, as it relates to convincing viewers that Jerry isnít reallllllly that bad.

 

Physics 101

Experiment:   From what height would you need to drop both a sandwich and Claudia, to produce the same amount of splash?

 

Sex Ed 101                                                                                                                          

            Keep this list handy:

                        1.  Keep condoms in your limo for comatose-son grief sex.

                        2.  Always have sex in a room with a lock and curtains.

                        3.  Shower between multiple sexual encounters on the same day.

 

Writing 101

            Guidelines:

                        When you steal an idea, make it your own.  But in a good way.

Be true to your characters.  If it doesnít sound like something they would say, it probably isnít.

                        No subject is a ďbadĒ subject.  Thereís only bad storytelling.

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