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April 10, 2008 AMC Aidan, didn’t you ever hear the phrase “loose lips sink ships?” Or, in this case, potentially sink relationships? In vino veritas, mate! I swooned last week when Jesse and Angie renewed their wedding vows. (I couldn’t tell if it was the same actress playing the wife of the deceased justice of the peace, but wouldn’t that have been neat?) I plotzed this week when Greenlee planted another smooch on Ryan and then told him how he makes her feel “relevant.” At least she then realized that she belonged at home with Spotted Dick, but that option might not be on the table any longer. Speaking of Jesse and Angie, wouldn’t you think they’d be smart enough not to put a burning candle next to a flapping curtain? This is turning out to be an interesting honeymoon. As Angie said, it’s a night they’re never going to forget! Zach and Jack are hot on Erica and Carmen’s trail. Let’s just hope they find them before Luisa and ‘Mando blow them into smithereens, and stop Erica before she unleashes a new reality show on an unsuspecting public! LIVIA! Drawing up divorce papers for Annie! What a welcome sight – on all fronts! Jesse and Angie thought they’d salvage their honeymoon back at the apartment, but there was a surprise party waiting for them. Jesse was particularly moved to see Stuart, and that’s certainly no surprise, considering the part the Hubbards played in Stuart’s first true love story, with Cindy. What a story that was. Zach and Jack found Erica and Carmen in the nick of time. Too bad her tape recorder went on the fritz, and with it, the confession. But look out, world: “These two…these two have really ticked off Erica Kane!” Be afraid, Luisa and ‘Mando. Be very afraid. Isn’t it amazing that JR is starting to remember things about the night Zach was hit by his car at the same time Opal is seeing things, nasty things, while reading her cards for Richie? Poor JR – a phrase I never thought I’d ever use – can’t catch a break. There wasn’t a dry eye in my house when Joe, Stuart and Frankie spoke about Jesse. So moving, so heartfelt. How appropriate that Jesse and Angie snuck out during Tad’s long-winded story and ended up back in that old cabin, ready for their second honeymoon at last! The setting wasn’t posh, but, truly, did it matter? I don’t think so! While watching Greenlee laying in wait for Aidan on the beach, I came up with a way for her to get him to forgive her: use those bamboo torches and give him a pole dance he’ll never forget! Opal’s “out shopping for eye of newt?” Good one, Richie! Now show us again how you cheated death. Maybe it’ll help the folks at Pine Valley Hospital connect those strange holes drilled into JR’s hips with his contraction of Hepatitis A. For some bizarre reason, Aidan didn’t accept Greenlee’s “I’m on the same wavelength as Ryan” theory as a reason to reiterate his proposal. Listen to me next time, Greens: loose lips sink ships. Shoulda done the pole dance. GH Liz finally decided to take a chance at love with Jason when what she was most afraid of was happening at the coffee warehouse: a child was shot because of the life his father leads. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: welcome back from the strike, Bob “Kill A Kid For Christmas” Guza. Your fingerprints are all over this. Isn’t Ian breaking all sorts of Hippocratic Oaths by electing to act as an assassin? Then consulting on his victim’s surgery? Good thing that went no further. As I saw Sonny grab Mobster-Mini-Me’s limp body, I couldn’t help thinking how many times he must have watched the final scenes of The Godfather, Part III, as Michael Corleone saw his daughter shot. (At least Corleone hadn’t moved to protect his girlfriend when the shot rang out.) It seemed a sick kind of poetic justice that Kate called Carly to tell her Michael had been shot, all things considered. Then the timing of Liz accepting Jason’s marriage proposal as the devastating phone call came in. Will this be remembered as this decade’s version of “Clink/Boom?” It’s amazing, really, that cell phone networks all over Port Charles didn’t crash, considering how many calls were made reporting the shooting. The various responses to the news, from relatives or people who just knew the affected parties, were acted with great depth and emotion. I’m anxiously awaiting Bobbie’s arrival, as she is, after all, the victim’s grandmother. Will Monica, his other grandmother, be excused from rehab? When Patrick came out to tell Carly, Sonny and Jason that the bullet was lodged in Michael’s brain, their reaction to that information proved once again what fine actors they are. Even I choked up, and I’ve always been pretty clear that I’m not particularly fond of the character of Michael. I think Lulu’s watched West Side Story one too many times. As she lectured Johnny about the killing cycle, I half expected her to break into “A Boy Like That.” When Robin touched Michael’s arm and promised to help him come back whole, I was thinking that was the least she could do, considering how she’d ripped his life apart by blabbing about his true paternity while Jason was happily raising him. Boy, was Claudia right when she refused to tell Johnny anything about the assassination arrangements. He could honestly answer that he knew nothing. Johnny sure is pissed at his sister, though, enough to consider telling Sonny he’s responsible for Michael’s shooting. Bad move. You can bet Claudia’s not going to let that happen. Robin was reverting to form when she insisted on scrubbing in for Michael’s brain surgery. Patrick, surprisingly, caved to her will. Actually, given his newly discovered paternal feelings, maybe that’s not so surprising. The four-way confrontation between Sonny, Jason, Carly and Kate was riveting. Sonny blaming Jason for not doing his job, Carly asking Sonny why he didn’t inform her that he was taking their son out, and without guards, then Sonny defending Kate’s right to be there – it was like watching a tennis match, mixed doubles, played by top seeds. I’m just waiting for Carly to learn that Sonny instinctively shielded Kate’s body and not their son’s. Can you say nuclear explosion? When it comes to children, Claudia actually has a heart. Who knew? This could spell major trouble for Ian. Her memories of child abuse – hers and Johnny’s – have left an indelible mark on the heart none of us thought existed. LINE OF THE WEEK: “I never thought that my son would have to bleed for me.” That must be one of the hardest jobs on earth, to tell people that someone they love may never recover. A friend of mine is an ER doctor, and he’s had to make that statement – and worse – to grieving friends and relatives. I honestly don’t know how he, or anyone else, does it. How big is this story? We’ve seen Alan’s ghost and Bobbie. Sam’s offering comfort and prayers. The minute Ned sets foot in town, you know it’s major. LINE OF THE WEEK 2: “I’m Claudia Zacchara, I have a meeting with your sister, Tracy.” Way to get to Edward’s heart, if not his wallet! She’ll probably walk away with most of ELQ! The scene where Bobbie told Luke that Michael might be better off dead was one of the most lengthy and poignant things that Jacklyn “Bobbie” Zeman’s done in ages, and she’s still got it. When did we last see this from her, during the “B.J.’s heart” story? Yet we barely see her (and, of course, she’s yet to have a scene with ex-fiancée Jerry). Go figure. Kate slipped and told Ric that Sonny covered her when the shot was fired. How long do you think it will take him to share that bit of information? As Carly rambled on to Jason about how he used to read travel books about Africa to baby Michael, his face appeared deeply etched in pain. He’s been Carly’s rock, and it looks like he’s going to need one of his own for a change. Not since Lila’s death, when he went to see Edward and so movingly sat with him, has Jason been this ripped apart. Bravo.
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