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April 17, 2008 AMC Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Zach has put the pieces together and realized that Kendall slept with Aidan. Annie’s put the divorce on hold, Ryan’s seeing a shrink to repair his memory, and Greenlee and Aidan have played their own version of 8-ball on his office pool table. You know, of course, that this will soon implode. Don’t you love selective memory? “Jonathan hurt people…I hurt people.” Um, Ryan, Jonathan not only hurt people, he killed a few as well. Pretty hard to erase that, especially for the Grey family. How strange. Zach’s not buying the pain, loss and abandonment as temporary aphrodisiac and a valid excuse for sleeping with Aidan. I must admit that tragedy has never gotten me horny, either, so I understand. I’ll bet you that the Famous Writers School Is headquartered in Pine Valley. Not only did Kendall write her first novel in about a week and went on a book tour the day after publication, but now Rob Gardner is “helping” someone in Hollywood “write a screenplay about the Papel case.” Let’s not forget that Erica, too, has a couple of books to her credit. Ah, if it were only that easy! Was that really necessary, Kendall? I mean, taking Zach to the cabin where you and Aidan did the horizontal bop? Imagine the conversation: “And this is the cot where Aidan and I tried to work out our pain about the death of our respective loves. So much death. Actually, lots and lots of little deaths, if you know what I mean. Oh, so many!” “Uh, Kendall, it might be nice if you’d stop giving it to me so straight now.” It’s as tasteless an idea as if Bill had taken that navy blue Gap dress and wagged it at Hillary after confessing his fondness for interns. Frankie had some confessing of his own to do. He told Jesse how he blames himself for killing three of his men in Iraq. He’d taken a seemingly injured civilian to the base hospital and the guy proceeded to shoot three of Frankie’s colleagues and then himself. Jesse tried to convince him that he wasn’t at fault, but Frankie wanted no part of that. It looks like some of the layers he’s built up are going to start getting peeled away, and I look forward to more father/son therapy. Watching good actors practice their craft is always a pleasure. In spite of their trip to the love shack, Zach seems determined to mend his ravaged marriage. Does he want to prove that he’s more bullheaded than a gaggle of strong Kane women? Colby has the grades for Wellesley? Who knew? Maybe they gave lots of weight to her two or three months of candystriping. That, or maybe Adam offered to build the school a new performing arts center. LINE OF THE WEEK: “I see you want your butt whipped.” Angie didn’t care for Frankie’s suggestion that Jesse rejoin the PVPD, and I can’t say I blame her. Seeing the gravely wounded cop in the ER later that morning really drove the point home, and Frankie finally understood his mom’s fears. GH Irrational guilt. That’s what Jason is feeling right now, blaming himself for promising to protect Michael while he was still in utero, and not saving him from being shot 12 years later. Sonny, who is the guiltiest party of all, except for the shooter, Dr. Evil, is considering taking the coward’s way out via suicide. Would he have pulled the trigger if Robin hadn’t fortuitously shown up? In the midst of all this angst, the comic relief that came from Alexis walking in on Diane and Max was most welcome and most delightful. More, please! Sonny actually said the words “when I saw my son get shot.” Um, no you didn’t, you were busy protecting Kate. One of the warehouse foremen told you that Michael had been hit. Just thought I’d mention that. The zingers flying between Alexis and Diane – as usual – were too delicious, so yummy that I couldn’t bring myself to keep stopping the action so I could jot them all down. So, I apologize, for there were several LINES OF THE WEEK soaring around, but you’ll have to watch SOAPnet to enjoy them again! Okay, here’s one from a different source, and not quite as funny. “No one has the right to push a father out of their child’s life.” Welcome back, Robin! There’s a new, personal meaning behind those words now, right? I think Jax may finally have realized that Jason will always be number one with Carly. He just spent hours trying to get home to his family, and then spent a short time at Michael’s bedside, volunteering to leave when Jason showed up with his travel book on Spain. When he asked Carly if it was okay for him to leave, she dismissed him with “yes, Jason’s here.” What more does he have to see or hear? Michael’s prognosis, perhaps? LINE OF THE WEEK: “There’s a hole in his head. How do you think he’s doing?” Don’t mince words, Carly – tell him how you really feel! Forget mob wars, this could get real ugly real fast. Look who’s out of bed! Logan! Trying to conjure up a romantic evening with Lulu! He’s not going to be happy to learn she’d rather play hide the salami with Johnny. Try bitter. Sonny told Carly he’s not leaving his son, which is funny, really, when you consider that Michael’s one of very few youngsters not actually produced by Sonny’s magic penis. Don’t think Carly’s going to let him forget that! Jax had to hear that his stepson’s in a permanent coma from a reluctant Liz. That’s gotta hurt. Yet he’s still being the good guy, encouraging Carly to focus all her energy on her son and put aside her anger at Sonny until the crisis is over, for Michael’s sake. What’s even more amazing is that she actually listened to him…until he tried to get her to face the reality of Michael’s condition. Fortunately for his manhood, he backed off from that subject. For now, anyway. Ric’s revenge on Trevor will start off with a band if he gets the Ditzy Don released from the funny farm. How devious of him. Glad to see you got your cojones back, counselor! There’s a new verb in town: to jackal, as in “I jackaled the hard drive of the security system, but came up with nothing.” Congratulations, Spinelli! You’ve joined the daytime lexicon. Be forewarned, though, as sometimes it backfires, as in “they say they have a sex tape of Monroe performing a Lewinsky.” Just sayin’! Wow. Luke looked smokin’ hot in leather at the re-opening of the Haunted Star! The rest of the crowd looked pretty slick in their formal attire (though Sam’s puppies were uncharacteristically smothered in cloth). A nice diversion from doom and gloom – unless Tracy’s prediction of a mob hit comes true.
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