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April 19, 2007 AMC Lily, meet Ava. Amazingly, Lily keeps pointing out how alike they are. You stole, I panhandled. You ran away, I ran away. You’ve been in hotel rooms with men, and so have I, except without sex or stealing. Sisterhood lives! Isn’t it ironic that most of Adam’s children have had questions about their parentage (not counting Skye, who’s a whole other subject)? With the exception of JR, whose paternity was never in question, let’s see: Hayley was a mystery from a one night stand with Arlene Vaughan in Chicago; Colby could well have been calling Ryan “Daddy;” and Charlotte/Jenny…well, we know how that ended up. (I’m not counting baby Anna, as she died at birth.) It’s also ironic that little Jenny’s middle name is Colby. Tad will have some major ‘splaining to do one day regarding his various ties to that name! Everyone’s left Adam (deservedly so), yet JR is still asking Jamie to “lay off my father?” What about this makes sense? Adam even tried to convince Colby to go on a cruise with him on his new yacht. One that Colby knows well. Will she show him the cherry-shaped chalk outline on the deck? Alex “Daddy Evil” Cambias is trying to play the insane card to get out of jail. Will he totally freak out in court when Zach claims he’s actually the son of his mother and her lover? That could drive the old man right out of his tree. Didn’t Babe come sickeningly close to saying “three generations of strong, feisty Carey women” while visiting KWAK and Jenny? When was Adam ever this evil? When he had Dixie committed? Hid Stuart from everyone? Kept Gloria a prisoner, as she was about to give birth to baby Anna? Other controlling acts of malice far too numerous to mention? Take your pick, but he seems nastiest when it involves one of his offspring (or rumored offspring). I bet he outdoes himself this time. Perhaps he should team up with Pine Valley’s newest Daddy Evil. Well, Janet will do for now. Jack’s questioning of Daddy Evil was very powerful, especially with the interspersed shots of his victims’ last moments and their reactions of their loved ones in the courtroom. Unfortunately, Daddy Evil was able to continue to play looney tunes even after Zach’s lie about being the son of Raymond Jenkins. How much do you supposed Daddy Evil donated to the judge’s re-election campaign fund? More important, will this kick off another “Who Killed the Bastard” storyline, a la Will Cortlandt and Michael Cambias? What do you think? Wow. Derek mentioned his nephew, Terrance, and how he wanted to take out the racist thugs who beat him so mercilessly in Tom Cudahy’s gym. No, Derek didn’t say all that, but the mention of Terrance brought back a lot of memories. Terrance was sort of the Reggie of his day in many ways, and I miss the character. Thanks for the memories, writers. Shameless plug for the movie version of “The Nanny Diaries.” Could it be a Disney film? Oh, no, a Weinstein Company film, which provided “promotional consideration,” like the Florida Orange Growers. The brothers Weinstein and their Miramax Film company were once part of Disney. The brothers left, Disney kept Miramax, and the brothers founded a new movie production company. This story is so incestuous it belongs on daytime! Be careful what you wish for: death threats galore, awful memories for many, then a mysterious sniping of Daddy Evil on his way to the looney bin, kicking off the “Who Shot the Bastard” storyline, as I surmised. I didn’t expect to see Dull assembling a rifle, though. Obviously, he must not be the sniper. GH Coop and Logan really saved the day for Sonny and Jason. What might be their reward? Port Charles has no virgins to offer, but I’m sure some kind of payment can be arranged. Right, Sonny? Skye’s gone over to The D.A. of Darkness? Ugh. Well, at least it opens up some catfight doors. Bring it! LINE OF THE WEEK: “Oh, let me guess, she knows nothing. She was at home, wiping the drool off Lila Rae AND her father.” Good one, Carly! Lulu’s been wearing that t-shirt from the tiny principality of Monaco for nearly a week. Did Julie “Lulu” Berman lose a bet with the actress who plays Sam? Kelly What’s-her-face? Scotty’s now the Special Prosecutor for the D.A.’s office? Who knows what dirt he has on the mayor – it must have been great to counter all the dirt that’s covering Baldwin’s tracks. Oh my. Monica and Edward now know that Alan’s haunting Tracy. Now they all know that Monica’s activity in bed was something called “Oopsy-Daisy.” Talk about TMI! It backfired, though, as Monica accused Tracy of faking the whole ghost thing and only knowing about “Oopsy-Daisy” from listening at her bedroom door. Personally, I think Tracy would have used this “Oopsy-Daisy” info long ago, had she had it prior to hearing it from Alan the ghost. It’s simply not like her to have embarrassing intel and sit on it. Will Robin’s revelation to Sonny that she’s now with Nikolas help convince him to sign his DEE-vorce papers? Emily’s available again! Could this day get any worse for Nik? First, Auntie Alexis is shamelessly flirting with Craig, then Scotty shows up to announce his intention to seek guardianship of Laura. Sheesh. Some days it doesn’t pay to get out of bed. Luke didn’t even know that Laura had named Nik her guardian. Double sheesh. However, Tracy knew. Gulp (the sound Luke makes as he drains one of Edward’s crystal decanters). Carly’s all about fairness, isn’t she? She’s certainly being unfair to Sam, blaming her for the media deluge, but even more so when using Jason as a threat. It’s choose between Jason or the show? Sorry, Carly, but the pull you have with Stone Cold isn’t as strong as it once was, especially when it comes to his personal life. Hmmm. Epiphany yelled at Stan for chasing after a white woman (Amelia, the fellow Marxist). He sort of threw it back in her face. Interesting. Is there something more we don’t know about Epiphany’s baby daddy? That shorter ‘do that Sam’s sporting makes her look like a reject from an old Bette Davis movie. What were they thinking? Speaking of Sam, when did she have the time to marry and fleece five different men in her oh-so-checkered past? Did she start doing it in high school? Is that why she needs a GED? Why does Carly want you to sign the DEE-vorce papers, Sonny? Because your relationship always turns toxic, dumbass. Carly remembers. Sign them already, damnit. You, too, Carly. Scotty comparing Tracy to “a declawed kitty cat” was most definitely a laugh-out-loud moment! Now that Patrick thinks Robin has totally thrown him over, will he become a slut again? One can hope. One is also reminded: where is Prof. Pete now that his partner in tomcatting is free again? Isn’t the little girl now playing Molly precious? I do believe that was the first time I saw her (in Ric’s office), and she’s a major cutie patootie. Another great job by casting director Mark Teschner, I’m sure. Why does Scotty want guardianship of Laura? What’s in it for him, other than putting the screws to Luke? There’s gotta be something; altruism is not part of Baldwin’s vocabulary. If Alexis accepts Jax’s invitation to be his “best person” at his wedding to Carly, will she drag out (pun intended) her old butler outfit (minus the facial hair)?
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