Media Ho (noun): A person who retains far too much information about people/places/things having to do with the media world, including (but not limited to) television, movies, music, pop culture, and the movers/shakers/performers in those worlds. Constantly frustrated by friends’ refusal to play any one of the versions of Trivial Pursuit with her. Result: this column, which will deal mostly with the rumors currently out there about ABC Daytime programs and players, delving deeply into them and offering further insight/commentary, drawing on that retained information as well as other sources.

June 12, 2008

AMC 

LINE OF LAST WEEK: “I want you to turn me into a hooker.” Exqueeze me? Baking powder? Yes, Amanda’s had her slutty moments, but not even she slept with a stranger on the beach on the night she was supposed to meet her new husband’s family. Note that I did not say first husband, as that role was already taken, though she kept that info secret for a long, long time. Oh, and the guy on the beach turned out to be her sorta-brother-in-law (whom she later cheated with again). No, I’d say the Wharf Tramp of San Diego needs no lesson in whoring from Amanda. Babe could teach that on the graduate level. But I digress…

Adam reminded Tad that he’s not a total innocent; he let JR think his son was dead, after all. I wonder what would happen if Tad’s really big secret came to light: what he did to Greg Madden. How might Josh react to that?

Speaking of Josh, Greenlee seduced him rather easily, and he’s begging for more. Does she plan to work her way through all of Kendall’s loved ones and, if so, what happens when she gets to her old pal, Lesbianca?

Look, it’s Lily! No doubt this will be the last time we see her before she heads off to M.I.T. And here I thought she was playing with Reggie, Sean and Yawnathan in basketball purgatory (Ava’s absence was barely mentioned, just that she’s moved, presumably to L.A. to pursue a career in soft core porn). Leven “Lily/Ava” Rambin is a talented young woman, and I hope to see more of her in entertainment reviews, not so much in gossip columns. She has had a lot of acting challenges on the show and performed extremely well, even from a young age (I remember marveling at the acting skills of Rambin at 14), and she has a bright future.

Angie seems to have a problem with Jake horning in on her treatment of Ryan. Considering his brash, cocky manner, radical ideas and lack of respect, I can hardly blame her. His attitude, frankly, sucks.

Speaking of brash and cocky, how is it that Samuel Woods has involved himself in Jesse’s career? Why would the mayor of Pine Valley have a Senate candidate offer Jesse the chief of police job? Unusual, no?

It’s been a while, but Walt “Jackson” Willy’s farewell scene with adopted daughter Lily was truly moving. His facial expressions said more than words, especially when she uncharacteristically took his hand. Bravo.

Will Erica write a book about her latest unfortunate incarceration? She can call it “Finding Your Chi While Folding Laundry Despite the ‘Ick’ Factor.” Let her out NOW! The fact that she’s been replaced as host of New Beginnings – her concept, her show – a much-needed fire has been lit under her orange jumpsuit. “No one replaces Erica Kane!” That’s for damn sure!

Okay, now, this is just silly. Kendall can barely get the ball over the net, yet Greenlee thinks she’s enough of an ace that she deliberately and successfully served the tennis ball directly at her eye? Sheesh! I know a bit about tennis, and that would be one heck of a difficult shot even if Greenlee were standing still, which she wasn’t. At least it gave Greens the opportunity to make Kendall think she did the nasty with Zach.

Only last week I was thinking I’d be soaking my cat’s fur with tears when Tad told Kathy/Kate he’s her daddy. In reality…not so much. I think the problem was more with the uninspiring lines Michael “Tad” Knight was given, because he normally would knock something like this out of the park. Is it just me, or did you also feel underwhelmed?
 

GH 

It’s a Corinthos/Morgan showdown! Will Jason do as his former boss asked and run Mike’s loan shark out of town, or will he refuse to do it because – in Sonny’s words – he can? “Wasn’t that the point of you getting out?” wondered Jason, when Sonny demanded that his enemies know that Jason will protect him, his family, and his loved ones. Can’t have it both ways, Corinthos! Methinks he’s having second thoughts.

Isn’t it amazing how Spinelli found some of Dr. Devlin’s other connections, yet Mac and the PCPD turned up nothing? Business as usual in the Chuckles! Will Carly take over the investigation of Mac’s closed case? Perhaps she can call on Felicia for help.

Nurse Leyla’s uber-Persian mom came to town, most likely to interfere with her daughter’s life. If she dares to date anyone other than Dr. Leo Julian – coincidentally, also Persian – will the honor killings start? Or is this a segue into the next season of GH: Night Shift, which starts in July?

Claudia wants Maxie to seduce Johnny away from Lulu and she’ll pay her $20,000 to do it. As if Maxie wouldn’t do it for free!

Hello, Mayor Floyd! Kicking butt at the PCPD! Will he make those Keystone Kops finally make inroads against organized crime in town? Well, so far, no mayor’s made that happen – in fact, the one-time co-police commissioner, Burt “Mr. Big” Ramsey, turned out to be the local bad guy – but perhaps Floyd can succeed where no one else has. At least he’s fired up about it, but his friendship with Trevor Lansing may suffer as a result.

How cozy. Claudia’s taking over Jax’s former penthouse, overlooking the Metro Court. You know that’s going to figure into lots of future plot points, especially since she’s asked her brother to share the living space. Hello, Maximum Maxie!

Sonny’s certainly drinking quite a bit of Scotch lately. Is he still on his meds? That might explain a lot, combined with his loss of power (not to mention Michael and Morgan). He’s showing a lot of the symptoms of a person spiraling out of control.

LINE OF THE WEEK: “This genius has visions of Eliot Spitzer dancing around in his head.” Very smart and appropriate line for the mayor of a New York State town, considering the real-life governor resigned in March after being caught with a paper trail of hookers!

Woo-hoo! The bigoted creep who called Leyla a terrorist (and got decked by Spinelli in return) made the mistake of showing up at the Corinthos coffee house and then attacked Spinelli. CLICK! Max and Milo, guns drawn, with Diane in between, telling the jerk what a major mistake he just made. Too funny! It leads me to a totally different thought, though: shouldn’t Jason’s office be relocated? He’s no longer in the coffee business!