Media Ho (noun): A person who retains far too much information about people/places/things having to do with the media world, including (but not limited to) television, movies, music, pop culture, and the movers/shakers/performers in those worlds. Constantly frustrated by friends’ refusal to play any one of the versions of Trivial Pursuit with her. Result: this column, which will deal mostly with the rumors currently out there about ABC Dayti
me programs and players, delving deeply into them and offering further insight/commentary, drawing on that retained information as well as other sources.


July 26, 2007


AMC 


Define contrived: Greenlee ending up driving Spike in the mini-caravan of Fusion cars, then deciding to drive off with him as Kendall headed to the hospital with severe abdominal pains. Then her conscience (or was it Spike’s incessant crying?) took over and she decided to turn back. Too bad she made a bad turn. A very bad turn. Was she looking for Leo down there? Whoopsie! 

Babe thinks Greenlee took Spike. Well, if anyone should have “napdar” on their scope, it’s the star baby-napper herself. 

All kidding aside, I thought it was a great idea to issue an “Amber Alert” to find Spike. So many children have been saved by this brilliant use of available technology. To learn more, go to www.amberalert.gov. It truly can make the difference between life and death. It would have been nice if AMC had had Alicia “Kendall” Minshew and Cameron “Ryan” Matheson do a PSA about the importance of Amber Alerts. Sigh. 

“You will NOT lose your baby!” Erica, staring down a lion once again. Naturally, she didn’t say, “You will NOT lose my grandson!” Naturally, she did drag out the old “strong Kane women” speech! 

Greenlee, however, was acting in a totally selfless manner trying to take care of Spike after the accident. She could have broken a nail scaling the rocks for her cell phone! Seriously, though, I’m pleased that the character is being redeemed. Unfortunately, when she and Spike are rescued, I have a feeling she’s going to have an entire cesspool dumped on her. 

I’d like to know which wireless carrier Greenlee uses – my home is a virtual dead zone, yet she has service at the bottom of a ravine. Sweet. 

Did anyone think to cancel the Fusion Green presentation in New York? Repercussions? You bet, and plenty of them. 

If this dual Lily/Ava role doesn’t result in a Daytime Emmy for Leven Rambin, I’ll…be incredibly shocked. 

That was Greenlee’s grandmother in those flashbacks? Holy cats! Did you catch the expression on her face when Greens spoke of rushing sororities and finally having sisters? Hmmm? 

In the real world, if you’re away from your regular calling area, you may be out of luck if you have to dial 911 – the call may not be routed to the nearest emergency facility, but to one in your phone’s area code. The wireless industry is working to correct this, and it looks like they started in the vicinity of Pine Valley, which is very good news for Greenlee and Spike. That gash on his forehead looks ominous, though.


GH 


Kate thought her publisher’s roofie/Viagra combo was ibuprofen. Too bad for her, but it’s looking good for Sonny. Kate may have wanted red meat, but she sure seemed satisfied with a hearty helping of Sonny’s sausage! 

Does wardrobe ever buy a blouse for Carly that doesn’t require half a roll of double-sided tape? 

LOVED it when Anna smacked down the skank who was all over Noah/Eli. She should’ve snapped her thong and given her a mega wedgie! 

I can think of worse places to be under house arrest than the Quartermaine mansion, but Lulu doesn’t agree. What exactly did she use to blackmail Big Alice? What else goes on in that boathouse? It seems to be a magnet for loss of virginity (Emily/Zander and Lulu/Dillon), but I don’t think that’s the case with Big Alice. 

Coop warned Maxie to stay away from Cody, newly arrived from Iraq and with a major chip on his shoulder about Logan. Naturally, she struck up a conversation with the creep. How like her. If he lets her pump him for information, does that mean he gets to pump her? 

CATFIGHT! Forget Jerry Jacks; Carly and Sam really need to go on the Jerry Springer show! Could you imagine? ABC.com should offer that scene in its online store – yet another avenue to exploit. It could make them a ton of money. Show an excerpt of the two of them rolling around on the pool table and they’d get enough orders to pay for the Nurses’ Ball and rehire Lynn Herring, Cynthia Preston, Tristan Rogers, Jack Wagner, John Reilly, Sharon Wyatt, and Vanessa Marcil! 

Pretty ironic, Scotty calling Logan a grifter. He certainly comes by it honestly. 

LINE OF THE WEEK: “I may not be armed, Milo, but I’m packin’. Just ask Lulu.” No, Logan didn’t actually say that, but a girl can dream, can’t she? 


RANDOM CONFESSIONS 


The only unfortunate part of my vacation last week was that SOAPnet wasn’t available, so no GH: Night Shift commentary this week (I’ll be all caught up next time). Instead, I’ll share a couple of actor/fan stories from my personal archives that may make you feel all warm and fuzzy. Yes, there are actors who appreciate their fans (unlike, say, Ashley Judd, who will lecture fans about how they are “getting into her personal space” if they dare approach her to say hello). 

Most of my friends know that they’re taking their life in their hands if they call me before noon on the weekends. It’s my only opportunity to catch up on sleep, as I don’t sleep well at night. A few weeks ago, the phone rang at 11:45 on a Saturday morning, and I picked it up, snarling. A dear friend was calling from Florida, so I shook myself awake.  

“Hey, what’s the name of the actress who plays Kendall?”

“Alicia Minshew.”

“Well, she just walked into the restaurant where I’m having lunch. Do you think it’s OK to ask to take a picture?”

“Absolutely. She’s very nice and accommodating. Just be discreet and it’ll be fine. Trust me.” And with that, I rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep. 

Ten minutes later, the phone rang.  

“She was so nice! I asked her if I could take her picture, and she said, ‘Well, don’t you want to be in it?’ Her boyfriend then took the picture of the two of us, and we chatted a bit before their order came out.”

“I told you she was nice! Now let me go back to sleep!” 

She later emailed me the picture, and it was adorable. 

How did I know this about Alicia? I’ve never met her, but a former business colleague/competitor had a wonderful encounter with her. He and his family were the first ones featured on the American version of “Supernanny,” so ABC had asked them to join Jo Frost at the ABC Upfronts, where they presented the network’s programming to the press and advertisers. Dave was in the Green Room, waiting to go on, and he said he was surrounded by a lot of soap actors, all of whom seemed very nice. One in particular sought him out and spoke to him for a while, wanting to know all about “Supernanny.” There was a pile of Jo Frost’s book for distribution, and he offered one to her, but she said, oh, no, I couldn’t do that. He never got her name, but as he was relating the story, I pulled out my laptop, logged on, and found a picture of Alicia. “That’s her!” he exclaimed! “I was so bowled over that a gorgeous, sweet woman would be so kind to an old dude like me!” I laughed and told him that soap stars, for the most part, are gracious and recognize how important their fan base is. As long as you don’t approach them as they’re doing something personal (eating, in the restroom, obviously in a serious conversation, etc.), and you do it in a polite manner, you’ll likely have a pleasant experience. 

I have plenty more stories like these to share, but I’m going to save them for future columns. Every now and then, the shows don’t give me enough good stuff for my column, and I hate to shortchange my readers.  

Oh, and by the way, I learned that I misspelled “let the good times roll” last week. I can say with all certainty after a long weekend in New Orleans that the correct phrase is “Laissez les bon temps roulez!” Did they ever! See you next week!


              
 

 

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