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Sept 20, 2007 The Media Ho is taking some time off from writing to deal with some family issues. She'd like for you to click here to revisit her interview with Bradford Anderson. Sept 13, 2007 AMC Erica met “Don” Hilliard in a place where last names don’t matter. A swinger’s club or The Betty? Yep, The Betty Ford Center. Greenlee found Annie’s locket on the beach now she wants to find out the story behind it. She thinks it’s a romance, Aidan thinks it’s a horror story. And the prize goes to…Fish and Chips! Now there’s a bet riding on the outcome of Aidan’s investigation. Will Spotted Dick rise to Greenlee’s challenge? JR’s website of beauty sounds like his very own incredible dream. Or should I say, Incredible Dream Dot Com? Since when did he become an Internet whiz, anyway? Double whammy for Erica: she got to tell Kendall and company that not only was Dr. Hilliard at The Betty due to painkillers he prescribed for himself, but also that it was Greenlee who steered him in their direction. Kiss that pair of panties goodbye! I predict that, in future, Spike and Ian will have a Marcia and Jan Brady dynamic. You know: “It’s always Spike, Spike, Spike!” Zach must be tired of it by now. I know I am! Since when do sleazy roadside bars serve flapjacks (did you note the MAPEL syrup?) and plain O.J.? Just in time for the televised 9/11 ceremonies, apparently. It was surprisingly moving, though, when Tad shared his memory of that dreadful day, more so when the little girl we know is his Kate ran into his arms. Well done. There’s also an as-yet unexplained 9/11 connection to band member Andre, which may provide some interesting background. (Incidentally, AMC’s timing seems off – they would normally introduce a group of teen musicians at the start of summer, to attract a teen audience, rather than at the end. If this is a trend, I approve.) LINE OF THE WEEK: “We all like sex.” Amanda, you’ve come up with Fusion’s next campaign! Kudos! It’s official: Ryan now embodies David Bowie’s “Scary Monsters/Super Creeps.” The depth of his surveillance of Greenlee, down to what must be video cams throughout her apartment, is excessive, even for him. What made it even scarier was that his eyeballs weren’t bulging as he calmly told Greenlee what he’d done. Seems a bit like sociopath behavior to me. Pam, Erica’s producer, is on probation? I thought she’d have been on the unemployment line. Those who’ve transgressed less against La Kane have suffered worse fates! Let me get this straight: Jackson is neglecting his legal career (such as it is) to become the next Jerry Springer? Aiden is now officially my favorite guy in Pine Valley. “I hate bullies, especially when they kick someone when they’re down.” Someone who hasn’t drunk the Ryan Lavery Kool-Aid! My hero! GH There’s big trouble a-brewing in the Chuckles. Jax’s rental car blew up before he could get in it; Leticia, Michael and Morgan’s nanny, has been murdered; and Sonny asked Kate to join him, Carly, and their boys for dinner. Nothing good can come of any of this. Jerry wants Sam to sleep with Trevor. One final branch of the Lansing family tree! And an extra bonus, too: he’s her half sister’s grandfather! What’s in it for her, revenge? That will do nicely! Classic! Mini-Mobster-Me wants Sonny to put a hit on whoever killed Leticia. Pretty soon he’ll be sporting designer suits and black shirts when he orders Max and Milo around. Remember Mad magazine’s “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions,” written and illustrated by the brilliant Al Jaffee? Let’s revive it, shall we? We can start with the following: Elizabeth to shadowy figure lurking outside her house: “Is anybody there?” Potential responses:
Alexis should stop and think for a second. Molly is probably the safest person in Port Charles, given that she’s Trevor’s granddaughter. That could even extend to Alexis herself, as the mother of the child. Besides, now that they’re moving to Scooby Island, oops, Wyndemere, they’ll be as safe as milk. One look at Sam in a bikini and Lucky’s totally gone. Sweaty Sam in workout skimpies had the same effect on Jerry. Good thing Kelly “Sam” Monaco signed a new contract with the show! Student nurse Leyla is now working the day shift as well as the Night Shift, so look for her to throw a really big wrench into Robin and Patrick’s relationship. Epiphany called it early and gave Patrick a stern warning: don’t mess with her! (That advice applies to both Leyla and the formidable Epiphany!) LINE OF THE WEEK: “Take heed, Uber-Scuzz. All will protect Lulu from your nefarious ways.” Uber-Scuzz? That’s one of the best Spinelli-isms to date! Does Ric know that Diane’s raiding his closet? Sweet Sam morphed into Seductive Sam to get Trevor’s promise that her little sisters will be safe. Just what will he want in return? I think that’s fairly obvious: Thing One and Thing Two were looking pretty delectable! Sam later lured Jason to her hotel room, perched on the hot tub, and informed him that she knew what Lucky needed and that she was going to give it to him. Jason recognized the jealousy ploy. I recognized the Sam who first showed up as a sexy con artist, with George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex” as her personal soundtrack. Welcome back! Nik’s got a real short fuse these days. The sight of Jerry nearly made him implode. What’s up? He’s sounding more and more like Uncle Stefan. Alexis would agree. Robin told Lainey that her mother had to hide her for the first six years of her life and supported them by working as a jewelry fence. Marvelous use of history – and it brought back some great memories. Robin knew Anna as “Luv,” a family friend, not as her mother. She was initially raised by her “grandmother,” Filomena Soltini, who was later murdered by evil Grant Putnam, leaving Robin virtually catatonic. Talk about issues!
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