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October 25, 2007 AMC “Emma, don’t worry, Mommy’s going to get us out of here. Now cover your ears so you don’t hear the alarm bells. Spike…um, you’re good.” Yeah, I made that up, but damn it, I’m tired of angst. I want a distraction, not a downer. Would it be asking too much for a little comic relief now and them? If Kendall really wants Aidan to believe she’s not genuinely interested in a friendship with Greenlee, how does she explain away the fact that she was sneaking into her penthouse bearing gifts? And none of them in Greenlee’s size, either. RichieWes really seemed to get along with Lily. She’s making noises as if he could be next in line for her heart. First Sam, then Yawnathan, now another disturbed suitor. Makes as much sense as anything else in her life! “I want Emma’s stomach pumped. I think she ingested something toxic. I caught her listening to Courtney Love and drawing hug lips around her mouth with a stale brownie.” Isn’t it more fun when I help with the dialogue? Surprising, wasn’t it, when Kendall told Zach how she set out to torture Greenlee with Spike’s bloody car seat? Also surprising: his reaction. Not once did he chide her for her outlandish behavior, no, he only suggested she keep her distance. He’s just as obsessed with getting revenge; he simply goes about it more quietly. KWAK can certainly put the lead in Adam’s pencil. I do hope he used protection, as we know that chick is fertile! We also know he’d love to father yet another child. You know how certain scents or melodies can evoke strong memories? Well, I can’t hear Debbie (whoops, she prefers Deborah these days) Gibson’s Lost in Your Eyes without thinking of David Rampal and Lainie Cortlandt. Josh Groban’s To Where You Are often makes me sob, sometimes because of the sheer beauty of the song and sometimes because I first heard it when David and Anna’s baby, Leora, died. Are there any other songs featured on AMC that have a similar effect on you? I’d love to compile a list, along with comments, so feel free to write in with your memories for inclusion in a future column. (We’ll do it another time for GH.) Watching Leven “Lily/Ava” Rambin do her thing, and do it so well, makes it even harder for me to believe she’s not old enough to vote. This girl has a big career ahead of her. I may not care much for one of the characters she plays (Ava), but I can certainly appreciate her talent. Let’s hope she doesn’t get robbed again at the Daytime Emmys. One of the newer actors on the show, Billy “RichieWes” Miller, is also a very talented guy who has to play a really vile dude. He was convincing and appealing as nice bartender Wes and truly malevolent as Richie. He’s good. Damned good. It might be interesting to see him paired up with Rambin. LINE OF THE WEEK: “Who’s child were you pregnant with?” Adam knows that Hannah’s done a father and son act, Zach (then Alex, Jr.) and Alex, Sr. That seems to be a common thread on ABC daytime. She claimed that a DNA test proved that Zach was Ethan’s father. Still, I wonder… GH Finally, the big reveal. Anthony Zacchara, mob boss, avid gardener, and major nut job. Criticize how he spreads his mulch and get a bullet between your eyes! I can’t help wondering what was running through Sonny’s mind when Zacchara started smashing things and screaming: something along the line of, oh, I don’t know, “Daddy?” Lucky wondered why Robin was asking him, not Patrick, to father her child. “We broke up.” Dumbass. Oh, duh. Not because she’d prefer her baby to have a genetic predisposition to a variety of addictions? There’s Luke’s alcohol abuse, Lucky’s pill addiction, and – lest we forget – the gambling jones Lucky had when he was a precocious preteen. I did laugh out loud when Robin used Jake as an example of Lucky’s skill at making beautiful babies. Oh, honey, it’s going to be fun watching you find out who’s really Jake’s daddy! Almost as much fun as when Lucky learns the truth! (When is that going to happen already? The spoilers are turning rancid!) “I want to have a baby and I just found out tonight that it might never happen.” That’s right, Jax, the truth is out: you don’t have a uterus. Mr. Trebek, I’ll take “It Takes One To Know One” for a thousand dollars. In this category, Sonny realizes that Anthony Zacchara is looney tunes. Answer: Trevor Lansing. Question: Who’s the wizard behind Anthony’s curtains? Sam’s back in town and Lucky’s back for more. Yet another opportunity to whine about his divorce. Fortunately for him, Sam doesn’t seem to be bored by it, unlike Nikolas. Or me, for that matter. However, he looks pretty darn sweet without his shirt. Who needs stimulating conversation? The Zacchara men definitely have a different kind of father/son dynamic, don’t they? Talk about hot and cold! The kicker was when Anthony told Johnny he’d never allow some bitch to betray him. He certainly wasn’t talking about his late wife, Johnny’s mother…or was he? In one conversation, Kate got Sonny to reveal more about his reasons for becoming a mobster – not wanting to ever be helpless again apparently one of the biggest motivators – than anyone before her. She’s good, and she’s also good for him. Hell, he even opened up and spoke truthfully, and at length, about being bi-polar. Could this be his first totally honest and healthy relationship with a woman? I think so. Wow. Robin’s doppelganger was brought into the hospital on a gurney. Just like the final scene in GH: Night Shift (which was supposed to be a “parallel universe,” remember?), Robin looked into her own eyes. Wait a minute! It turned out to be only her overactive imagination. Why she called Kelly Lee the OB/GYN for a personal consult rather than Lainey Winters the shrink is beyond me. At least it cleared up that little GH: Night Shift cliffhanger. On a most definitely related front, Epiphany caught a new orderly, Cassius, mopping floors and singing “When The Saints Come Marching In,” her pal Toussaint’s signature song. Interesting. Well, anything that gives The Piphster more time on screen is all right by me. (I just saw Year of the Dog, a touching and sad film, and was delighted to see Sonya “Epiphany” Eddy playing a vet tech! Her wardrobe could have been borrowed from GH.) Diane again seemed to have raided Ric’s closet for the mediation hearing between Liz and Lucky, a rather natty suit indeed. Doesn’t seem to fit with her usual fashion sense, though. Would her muse, Kate Howard, approve? LINE OF THE WEEK: “I get that you’re an equal opportunity slut.” YOWZA! Well, Sam provoked Carly when she not so subtly reminded her of her past liaison with Jax. Good to see the claws come out, ladies! Robin went shopping for Spinelli sperm, which totally threw The Jackal and Stone Cold. Stone Cold looked ill. The Jackal said, “You have given The Jackal much to ponder,” then ran out of the apartment. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jason’s eyes get so wide! LINE OF THE WEEK 2: “I just wanted to bring a little insecurity and paranoia into your life…mission accomplished.” Welcome back, Sweet Sam! Carly, Sam, start your engines! “Do you remember when you and I and Michael lived together as a family? It was wonderful. Then I had to ruin it all by flapping my big self-righteous lips all over town, destroying several lives in the process.” Ah, Robin, such memories! Mostly mine, true, but some were yours!
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