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November 2, 2006 AMCHere’s Dull, uh, Del Hunkle, trying yet again to cash in on his acquaintances with a sleazy tell-all. Oddly enough, I don’t believe any of his previous efforts have been published. Big surprise! He’s infringing on Donald Steele’s territory. The main differences are that Steele actually has a job as a journalist (of sorts) and is infinitely a more enjoyable character. Dull may look better in a bathing suit, but, overall, I prefer Steele. The last I heard of the delightful Chip Zien, Steele’s portrayer, he was stealing scenes on Broadway in “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” I hope he’s still wowing audiences (and critics) on the Great White Way. If he’s not on AMC, he belongs on Broadway. A brief aside: our own Dianna and I recently caught “Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me,” and if you have the opportunity, it’s a must-see. The multi-faceted Short is joined by a great supporting cast of five “Comedy All-Stars,” including Donna Vivino, who listed AMC among her credits! (A bit of probing found that she once played a young Erica Kane, but that’s all I could find.) Another All-Star is the fabulous Marc Shaiman, whose composing credits also include “Hairspray” (for which he received the Tony award), and numerous films (yes, he’s also been nominated for an Oscar or two). It’s a great, great show, and a rare experience to see Short on stage. Had I not seen them perform a number from the show on “The View,” I probably would not have made the effort to go. I guess I owe ABC Daytime a debt of gratitude for that. David might have won his argument regarding Babe with Josh more quickly if he’d just said, “Work with me or I’ll tell you all about how I did your mother.” Does the fact that the Slaters are now house hunting mean we’ll be seeing more of Jennifer Bassey’s Marion Colby? Every time I hear her say “DAR-lings!” I smile. In Hollywood, they sell maps to stars’ homes. In Pine Valley, do they sell diagrams of the Chandler Mansion tunnels? Who knew Josh was so familiar with them? And why doesn’t Winnie ever dust in there, considering all the traffic? Ah, let’s start David’s exit (and final character assassination) with a kidnapping. How delightful. Snarl. I’ve been enjoying watching him pull those puppet strings, though. Who is going to tweak those sanctimonious types – especially Tad and Ryan – when David’s history? Zach can’t do it all by his lonesome. Damn, DixieBirdBrain actually did the right thing and returned EmmaKate to Annie. She even uttered the words “I was wrong.” Like Fonzie before here, I didn’t think that phrase was in her vocabulary. (Remember that classic “Happy Days” episode when The Fonz could barely get the “W” word out? “I was wrrrrr. I was wrrrrrrrr.” That was about 30 years ago, and I can still hear it in my head!) Did I feel sympathy for DixieBirdBrain? What do you think? GHWhy would GH (reportedly) be casting a computer whiz to work for Sonny and Jason? Hello? Anyone remember Stan, son of Epiphany, who was on the canvas even before his mother? Is he off at basketball camp with AMC’s Reggie or hanging out with Lucas and Felicia? LINE OF THE WEEK: “How long have I been like this?” A stunned Laura upon seeing her grown children. Let’s see: Lulu’s ditched the Flower Scouts (or whatever they were called) for hair dye and sex; Lucky’s graduated from the police academy, gotten married, and lost it all due to his drug addiction (not to mention simultaneously knocking up a skank); and Nik’s been married, cheated on his wife, divorced, and fathered Laura’s first grandchild. Waah! Let’s make this even more fun and have a cry-off between Laura and Sam! From the way Laura’s babbling on about how babies are “love…miracles,” I’m not certain how she’ll react to news of Lulu’s abortion. Then again, there’s still Luke’s new wife to digest, along with Robert and Anna’s return from the dead, so the abortion may actually be a minor bit of information for Laura to process. It’s one big (ginormous, actually) family over at Casa Corinthos! Won’t Alexis be thrilled to learn that Mini-Mobster-Me and Morgan are teaching Kristina how to play with guns? Oh, joy! Trust Alexis to try and manipulate her puppet strings from her hospital bed! The woman’s amazing! She can even be in a deep coma and still try to manage other people’s lives! Maxie’s drinking beer? As Diego pointed out, odd behavior for a preggo. So is her slutting around with random costumed strangers. I was hoping that Ric would nonchalantly stick the flash drive down Sam’s cleavage, since she was giving him ample opportunity. Oh well. Kristina’s cheerleader costume was probably the scariest thing she could have worn to visit her mother. Precisely what Alexis predicted could happen if Carly were to raise her daughter! Nightmaresville! A drunk Lulu is eerily like a drunken Luke, what with kissing inappropriate people and throwing roundhouse punches. Diego makes a dashing Zorro, and a smart one, too. He’s got Maxie’s number. Too bad he may not be around for much longer. Just as I was really starting to appreciate Ignacio Serrichio and his development as an actor (even though he’s been strangely absent of late). He’s come a long way since his early days when columnists often referred to him as “Dead Eyes Diego.” In the continuing saga of “How Low Can You Go?” Ric’s framed Sam for evidence tampering, right as she and Jason were feeling the love again. That in itself is going to make Jason very, very determined to take him down. When will Max get it straight that, technically, he should be calling Carly “Mrs. A.,” as in Alcazar, her last husband? And, unless Sonny fouls things up completely (which is his goal), Max should soon be calling her “Mrs. J.” FANTASY LINE OF THE WEEK: “Jason’s cheating on you with Elizabeth, and I can’t say I blame him. After all, I’ve had you both, and it has to be said that she’s a hell of a lot more fun in the feathers.” No, Ric didn’t say that, but he could have! DUMB MOVE OF THE WEEK” Sam assaulting Ric, and then trying to escape. Where did she think she was going with those handcuffs, the Pussycat Lounge? Lucky for her, Det. Rodriguez covered for her and let her run. Has he caught on to Ric’s manipulations? You bet he has, and I hope he ends up with a major promotion when this all comes to a head. Why wouldn’t Elizabeth accept jewelry from Lucky? What was she expecting, a pearl necklace?
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