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November 15, 2007 AMC It’s a busy day in the Valley: Aidan broke Greenlee out of custody (and Ryan did nothing to stop them), JR’s hitting the bottle again, and Babe is comforting RichieWes. Erica told Jack that it’s not his fault about Greenlee because he didn’t raise her, and said it with a totally straight face, as she must have forgotten that Kendall was raised not by her but by wolves, um, Harts. We learned that Greenlee prefers to ride a chopper to a horse (how un-debutante of her) and that Aidan’s idea of a disguise for her is laughable. Joe Martin is certainly the most hands-on chief of staff ever portrayed on television. Not only does he appear to be on duty 24/7, he cheerfully fetches cribs and cots on demand. Truly amazing. Wait just one cotton-picking minute. Of all the people to bump into Aidan and Greenlee before they hit the road, it had to be Julia, who set out to tell them that life on the run isn’t as romantic as it seems – and she should know, because she did it for TEN years. WTF? Did she tack on an extra year to make herself sound more interesting? Did she thing everyone would forget, after hearing her whine about the Witness Protection Program since she left it (after NINE years)? May I shoot her now and put me out of my misery? To further add to my misery, Kendall, after having plotted so viciously to set up her former best friend, is now frightened that Greenlee’s now a fugitive and really, really pissed at her. Oh, the danger they all could be in! Erica, too! Gag me. “I slept with the man who murdered the love of your life.” If that’s not a relationship killer, I’ll eat my hat. Do you suppose Hannah will ever frolic in the feathers with Thaddeus again? Highly doubtful. Why did Tommy Brennan, the guy from RichieWes’ past who saw him kill another kid, hang up on Ryan when he said he was married to RichieWes’ sister? Is there something more to Annie that hasn’t yet come out? Could her brother be telling a version of the truth about her…or not? Tommy was certainly ill at ease and scared of RichieWes. Nice hairstyle, Colby. I actually did a double take, wondering if there had been a recast I wasn’t aware of. It’s a good look for her. Wonder if she went to the Glamourama? I’m really surprised that Ryan’s phone won’t dial back the last caller. Even my phone has that capability! Unless, of course, Tommy’s been so petrified of RichieWes all these years that he called from a private line. As RichieWes was telling Babe all the ways he was going to spend the rest of his days, I couldn’t help thinking that he was practically composing a sequel to Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying.” Will that song be used for a RichieWes/Babe montage soon? OFF THE SET Cameron “Ryan” Matheson was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars this week, after a truly heroic effort on his part these past few months. Termed the most improved dancer by one of the judges, he had a tougher than usual schedule to contend with, which likely affected the quality of the dances he had to perform Monday night. He and professional dance partner Edyta opened with a beautiful interpretation of the Viennese Waltz, but their second dance, a cha-cha, was weak and wooden. I thought his legion of fans would save him, especially since he (and Edyta) had been at Super Soap Weekend just prior to the dance-off (and were shamelessly whoring the need to vote to anyone who could hear them), but they didn’t come through for him this week. Gotta give him props, though: he was flying back and forth between the coasts to tape AMC and then spent hours practicing dancing with Edyta. He also honored his commitment to ABC Daytime’s Super Soap Weekend, participating in the fan fest as enthusiastically as ever. I have new respect for the dude, and really think if they could channel his energy into a sports drink, he’d outsell Red Bull. Kudos to you, Cameron. Good job. GH Thank goodness it’s 2AM – three hours left. Why does it feel like the ball has lasted an eternity? Oh, right, because it started last month! That look in Elizabeth’s eyes when Jason came to the stables seemed to say it all: shoot them, my love, and shut them the hell up. His words were more piercing than any bullet (and just as welcome): “You’re not Jake’s father, Lucky. I am.” Oh, finally! FINALLY! Look, I’ve got happy feet! Happy feet! My cats are now trying to figure out how to forge a signature on commitment papers, a la Erica Kane, but I’m okay with that because the truth is OUT. It may have been months in the making, but there it is. Lucky didn’t take the news well at all, calling Liz a lying whore and threatening to kill Jason. One wonders what he’ll do once he learns half of Port Charles knew about Jake’s parentage. Sam admitted that she’s known “since the day after he was born.” Luke had a heart attack while confronting the Ditzy Don, but I’m not concerned in the least. Why? Luke will never die from something as pedestrian as a heart attack. He’s as pale as a Kabuki performer, but he’ll pull through. LINE OF THE WEEK: “Could you possibly act like a grownup for once?” Kate, you go, girl! Carly’s really acting out now that Sonny’s said he loves Kate. But you’re from two different worlds, Carly protested! Little does she know. How convenient that Tracy has Edward’s heart meds! She’ll certainly give them to her husband! Won’t she? Oh, of course she will – I was only kidding. It is sort of strange that she brought them in case Edward needed them at the party, though, given past history and all. Johnny was right: one look at Leyla and the Ditzy Don saw his late wife, Maria. You know, the one he killed. Just like old times, the Ditzy Don aimed at the boy (Patrick this time), but the betraying bitch (Leyla) jumped in front of the bullet. Curses, foiled again! LINE OF THE WEEK 2: “I had no idea that someday I’d be in love with you, or that you’d be the mother of my child.” I can hear Liason fans everywhere, screaming in complete and utter joy! I’m beginning to think it’s Lulu with the brain tumor, as she is still insisting she’s the best way to draw out Zacchara. Enough! LINE OF THE WEEK 3: “No offense, but why do you find it necessary to make what’s happening tonight about you?” I now officially adore Regina and applaud her keen psychological insight into Lulu. Who needs Lainey? Joining the fun with LINE OF THE WEEK 4, here’s Anthony: “You’re a mouthy little brat, aren’t you?” Trust Luke to provide LINE OF THE WEEK 5: “If you don’t stop yapping at me like a wife, wife, I’ll trade you in on a younger model!” Putting Luke and Tracy together was one of the best moves TPTB have made in eons, so I feel compelled to tip my hat to them. (It’s rare, but when it happens, I have to recognize it!) Wow, Jase beat the living crap out of Nik, and despite Emily’s loud protests. When Nik came to, he insisted they leave him there, trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey. Again, despite Emily’s protests, Jason dragged her away. It would be a real bummer if those were Nik and Em’s last moments together. The more this goes on, the more it reminds me of Gilligan’s Island on crack. Or acid. See you next week with more hijinks from Wyndemere!
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