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December 13th AMC Kendall thinks her charm is a sign (and a nifty name for her first novel). Greenlee thinks the skeletal hand in the wall is a sign. I find the fact that I’m about to start mainlining Pepto Bismol as a sign that this story is taking WAY too much time. A teensy bit of light shone through the darkness when Val, Erica’s long-suffering assistant, was seen doing her Christmas errands. As Joe said upon seeing Josh, “What a pleasant surprise!” Sort of like when we saw Livia visiting JR in prison. It was rather unpleasant, however, when Erica tried to blame her problems with Jack on kindly Dr. Martin, the only chief-of-staff that makes pre-op house calls. I laughed hardest when she said his motivation was because she’d chosen Jack over his son, Jeff. Um, weren’t there about 15 men in between, some of them husbands? You know, I agree with Ryan -- a scary thought indeed -- that Richie is a sociopath with a death wish, but what about his shrink? He is overseeing an unknown number of mentally ill prisoners, yet will compromise his position (not to mention law-abiding citizens) by making sleazy financial deals and letting crazy people out of jail. If you think Richie’s the first one he’s done this with, there’s a bridge in Brooklyn I have for sale… Erica: “You really ARE my son!” Josh: “Even Kanes can be wrong sometimes.” Erica: “Get OUT, stranger!” (Yeah, I made up that last one, but the opportunity was so golden!) Richie, meet Janet From Another Planet. You’ll probably find you have lots more in common than you did with that Babe person! I, for one, am looking forward to this pairing. Could it become romantic? Heck, even Planeteers need love, and Janet’s been lonely ever since she offed Trevor. Speaking of Amanda, she deserves a pat on the back for coming up with the idea of taping a drunk, horny and garrulous JR, getting him to confess all his sins. She’s her mother’s daughter, without the insanity but plenty of cunning. I hope she gets a boatload of money out of Adam, Despite Tad’s hypocrisy and holier-than-thou attitude, I do have to agree when he says he can’t respect KWAK’s feelings for the man who walked over her as she was preparing to give birth on the floor, alone. That’s enough to tie the can to him; couple it with his attempt to sell baby Jenny, and I’ll bet there are a few people who wouldn’t object to Adam getting Maddenized on those two counts alone. Josh showing up at the hospital with Zach’s Red Wings jersey made me have some decidedly non-sisterly thoughts towards him. I’m sure Kendall was also feeling the love. Erica’s stunned that Jack didn’t call her about Lily’s meltdown. Considering the deep red turtleneck she was sporting, I’m at a loss for words. Question: if Jack still thinks of Kendall as his daughter, does that mean he’ll refer to Spike and Ian as his grandsons? I’m all for Tad suing KWAK for full custody of Jenny if it means we’ll see more of Livia. Please? The show would have been better served if Aidan had found Reggie, the original Reggie, hiding out in the woods, scared to come home because he’s lost his basketball scholarship. The fans, too. Oh well. “Greetings and hallucinations!” Janet’s taken a real shine to Richie. Oh, the plotting that could happen! The crazy adventures/escapes! Once he realizes that she’s the very last person he should piss off, they’re going to be best buds. Or more. GH The New Bickersons, AKA Luke and Tracy, light up my screen like nobody’s business. It’s a totally different dynamic than the beloved Luke and Laura pairing, which is, I suspect, why diehard L&L fans can accept L&T. Instead of rewriting history, they’re doing something new, and I adore them together. Even when they fight – as they’re doing now, over his cavalier attitude towards his health – you can see the love and, dare I say, tenderness between these two. Bravo! Brava! Wouldn’t a long-time hospital volunteer like Georgie have tried, oh, I don’t know, CPR or something on discovering her sister’s inert figure? What makes it even stranger is that (and I’m not spilling beans here), Georgie is going to fall victim to the Text Message Strangler. This is not a turn of events that pleases me in the least. Lindze “Georgie” Letherman is not only talented, but a genuinely nice person, too. A sweetheart, actually. For now, that’s all I’m going to say about that. Don’t you love it when Alexis and Diane lock horns? Will there be a battle involving shoes shortly? Bring it! Georgie described the mysterious stranger as having a medium build, dressed in black, and brownish hair. We eliminate Jason, Lucky, Ric and Sonny, as they were otherwise engaged. Max and Milo are big dudes, not medium build. Not shown: Nik, Johnny Z, Patrick, Harper, Dr. Leo, or Coop. Nor, for that matter, Cruz, but I think he must have left town around the time Harper showed up. Also, there’s someone else we haven’t seen in awhile: Alcazar. Yes, he’s supposedly dead, but I haven’t seen his body. Are we going to get to see Lucky crooning “Don’t Fence Me In” by his dad’s bedside? Monica wants to do the quadruple bypass on Luke. Tracy’s dead set against it. Sorry, poor choice of words. Monica played the “head of cardiology” card and Tracy countered with the “have you done a bypass since Emily’s death” card. Luke, naturally, just wants to get it over with already, as “the suspense is killing me.” LINE OF THE WEEK: “Not that Jason would care, or comprehend, but when he called, I was about to slip into a tubful of Himalayan bath salts, with two fingers of Scotch and some early Shirley Bassey.” Diane, you’re a woman after my own heart. I feel your pain. It would have been cool if, when the lineup faced the wall, Georgie recognized the strangler’s butt. Oh, snap! Diane read Mac’s own rap sheet back to him! Talk about great use of history! Bravissimo! Uh-oh. Monica’s seeing Emily in the OR now. She froze and Luke went to the light. His escort? An absolutely stunning Skye. His own personal hell? He’s living in Laura’s house with Lulu, Logan and their passel of brats. He’s also looking and dressing his age, complete with hearing aid and a package of Depends. Fortunately, Dr. Leo’s stepped in for Monica, but will he be able to pull Luke away from the light? He’d better work fast, because Lesley’s dressing like a hippie and bringing disco back! This is some good stuff! In Luke’s version of hell, he’s also now a member of the PCPD, partnered with Lucky, and plays golf with Commissioner Scorpio while drinking iced tea, and not the Long Island variety. Ouch! Meanwhile, Darth Lansing is planning a direct hit on the Corinthos organization. Monica’s admitting to Tracy that she never should have operated on Luke (leaving herself open to a potential lawsuit), and Luke’s seeing a wealthy and successful Scotty squeezing Spanky Buns. (This is even better than last year’s “Christmas Carol!”) Let me get this straight: Kate just had hot makeup sex with Sonny and she’s still moaning about his errant few inches? How demanding! Spinelli traced Georgie’s text message and said it was piggybacked onto a most implausible source: Mac’s phone. Well, heck, haven’t the gurrrrls given Mac Daddy more grief in these past few years than one man deserves in a lifetime? Perhaps he blames them for Felicia’s long absence? Oh, I’m only kidding, but one must look at all plausible angles! Luke eventually made it through surgery. Will he survive the recovery process?
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