Media Ho (noun): A person who retains far too much information about people/places/things having to do with the media world, including (but not limited to) television, movies, music, pop culture, and the movers/shakers/performers in those worlds. Constantly frustrated by friends’ refusal to play any one of the versions of Trivial Pursuit with her. Result: this column, which will deal mostly with the rumors currently out there about ABC Daytime programs and players, delving deeply into them and offering further insight/commentary, drawing on that retained information as well as other sources.

December 14, 2006

AMC    

I don’t consider myself a nasty person, but when Josh found Erin’s body on the roof of Fusion, my first thought was “Christmas comes early!” Sorry, Laverys, but I will not miss your sister as I will Simone. If this serial killer picks Colby or Babe next, I’ll love him forever! 

Even though I’m not a fan of the Lavery clan, I will say that Jeff “Jonathan” Branson was rather moving as he held the body of his dead sister. Cameron “Ryan” Matheson surprised me, too, as I expected his eyeballs to burst out of their sockets. Instead, he was calm and measured, as if he realized that Jonathan would need him to be strong, and kept his emotions in check for a later date. Good thing, too, as Jonathan started accusing all the ConFusion patrons of his sister’s murder. 

Adam is happy because he’s never going to feel like JR does, with a wife who cheated on him. Adam is delusional. Forget the fact that he married a Carey woman. Forget the fact Babe was conceived during a (mostly forgotten) one-night stand with David Hayward. Forget the fact that she’s already cheated on him with Tad (a fact of which he is still blissfully ignorant). She’s a CAREY WOMAN. Infidelity is in her blood. 

Wouldn’t it be cool if it turned out to be Janet From Another Planet killing the women of Fusion because they were real meanies to her little Amanda? She’s always hated Brooke, too. Oh, let me have my dreams, it’s almost Christmas!

GH

I think it would have been a real hoot if Lorenzo had accidentally hired Nanny Brow to take care of Lila Rae. As soon as he said the new nanny had impeccable references, I chuckled. 

Speaking of Nanny Brow, why did she fly to Colorado to dye her hair? And what’s with the glasses? 

Edward certainly seems to love Skye these days, but I’m kinda surprised that he hasn’t yet referred to baby Lila Rae as “The Quartermaine Heir.” Perhaps Eddie remembered that Skye is not technically a blood relative, or even a legal part of the family. After all, Alan may have spoken of wanting to adopt her, but I never saw any papers. Besides, wouldn’t her actual adoptive father, Pine Valley’s Adam Chandler, have an issue with that? (Does he even know he’s a grandfather again? Well, that’s probably a topic for the upper half of this column.) Personally, I was sorry that Edward did not once refer to Lorenzo as a reprobate or a deviant. Well, perhaps he’ll have another scene/opportunity before the New Year. One can hope. 

Ric’s after Elizabeth? Well, it’s not like he’s been subtle about it. Much like Sonny’s semi-courting of Carly, which he threw into full throttle, using his usual bait, his cooking. Will they soon be selling frozen “Penne A La Sonny” dinners at Sears or at ABC.com? 

Is Metro Court’s room 815 always kept vacant in case Jason might need it, or is it another one of Sonny’s “safe houses?” Is Jax really okay with this? 

Maxie’s like The Grinch; she can think up a lie and think it up quick. When confronted with the fact that she hadn’t been seeing Dr. Lee, she countered with the fact that she didn’t trust a hospital filled with Elizabeth’s allies. Good one, but she can’t keep it up forever. Maybe it’s time to take a header off the Quartermaine stairs or the Wyndemere parapet! 

Who is feeding Helena? 

I apologize for my brevity this week – truth be told, there was not much to inspire me. From what I’m hearing, that will change next week, just prior to the holidays. Catch you then! – The Media Ho