Media Ho (noun): A person who retains far too much information about people/places/things having to do with the media world, including (but not limited to) television, movies, music, pop culture, and the movers/shakers/performers in those worlds. Constantly frustrated by friends’ refusal to play any one of the versions of Trivial Pursuit with her. Result: this column, which will deal mostly with the rumors currently out there about ABC Daytime programs and players, delving deeply into them and offering further insight/commentary, drawing on that retained information as well as other sources.

GH Spoiler Commentary
September 16, 2006

Monday, September 18th:

Sonny vows that Ric will never raise Kristina
And we all know how seriously Sonny takes his vows

Sam tells Sonny he may have pushed Ric too far
I wonder what Ric is going to do now?

Ric meets with Alcazar
There ya go. Stupid is as stupid does!

Sam worries that she will not have a future with Jason
When exactly did she get her first clue? Was it when Jason told her she's no longer in his life, or was it when he slept with Elizabeth?

Elizabeth refuses to talk to Lucky
That's one of the best decisions she's made lately, That, and telling him she's through with his drug-using ass.

Robin suggests a treatment for Laura
"Oh, just look at those nails. Time for a spa day!"

Tuesday, September 19th:

Luke leaves Lulu to go to investigate the doctor who might be able to help Laura
Hmm. The doctor comes highly recommended by another doctor who has spent most of her career doing research. Yet Luke still has to go and investigate said doctor's background. Any excuse to get out of the Chuckles!

Georgie helps Dillon understand Lulu
Uh, aren't we a bit off on our timing here?

Carly tells Jax she fears that Michael and Morgan may get too attached to him
And then he'll take off again, kids swinging from his hips

Colleen makes trouble for Emily at the hospital
"Hello, Epiphany? I just thought you'd like to know that Emily Quartermaine skips out on her hospital duties to hang out with her ex-husband."

Wednesday, September 20th:

Jason tells Sonny that Alcazar is becoming a threat
Jason, you keep repeating yourself. Sonny's got more important things to worry about. You run the business, you take care of the problems.

Sonny interrupts Carly and Jax
Good thing they're still in that "no sex" pact

Sonny tells Carly that she and the boys could be in danger;
Why, because he's such a big mobster and all? A-doing!

Lucky ends his relationship with Maxie
Why, because he's found a high school chick who gets better pills?

Maxie makes a desperate move
Better check your stash, Lucky, she may have shorted you this time.

Elizabeth looks for Jason
"Oh, those Enduro condoms of yours? Well, they're also Dillon's brand of choice, and look what happened to him."

Thursday, September 21st:

Lainey asks Sonny why he wants to break up Carly and Jax
Very cagey, Lainey! You're a shrink; you already know the answer to that question!

Carly gets a surprise as she prepares for her evening with Jax
What, that the pharmacy is having a sale on Enduro condoms?

Sam interrupts Elizabeth and Jason
A far better method of birth control than, say, Enduro condoms!

Alcazar and Jason exchange threats
Thus endeth the string of Enduro condom comments. I know, I know, don't thank me!

Jason and Sam vow to stay together
You know, you put someone in a medically-induced coma and everyone breaks their vows to her. (Naturally, Ric had to go and break his vows prior to the coma. Showoff.)

Maxie's scheme backfires
Obviously not well enough, as she's still around for tomorrow's spoilers.

Friday, September 22:

Alexis takes a turn for the worse
Remember, though, she's at Miracle Hospital!

Nikolas wonders whether Sam could choose her family over Jason
Because they've gotten so close now that they're cousins?

Sonny brings out Carly's insecurities
This is one of those "spoilers" that you could use every single week. Yawn.

Carly does not buy Max's story
"That's not a banana in your pocket!"

Lucky tells Maxie they have no future together
Wait until she shares this with Mac Daddy...or at least threatens to do so

Nikolas makes a decision
"Heads, I ride Sheba. Tails, I ride Emily."