October 5, 2006

Liz is absolutely the worst person ever to have to hide a pregnancy. The very second one of those little swimmers finds success with the ol’ “Do you come here often?” (Or maybe that should be the egg’s line?) pickup and is invited in, Liz starts stopping after every fourth step to wipe her brow, close her eyes, and breathe deeply. Mysteriously, as soon as the babydaddy candidates find out of the existence of the little junkie/thug (I think that until the paternity test, I’ll just refer to the munchkin as Thunkie, and if I’m the first to combine-name an embryo, then so be it.) Liz’s early pregnancy symptoms are a distant memory. It’s just as well, it’s not like we have time to wait three hours for her to make it across town to not inform Jason that his condoms aren’t working. One has to wonder if she’s hoping to be responsible for the creation of a half brother or sister for little Thunkie or what?

The cutesy roommate scene at Casa del Doctòrs reminded me of why I really prefer my physicians to be older than I am. I’m willing to trade cutting edge, latest technology proficiency for the assurance that he or she is not walking into the exam room fresh off a negligee romp with four or five close friends. This is particularly true if stirrups are involved – either during the romp or in my exam room.

Mac’s still a hottie! He should toss people around more often.

They did a decent job with Decision 2006: The Lulu Spencer “Situation”. Nah, seriously, they did. The Lulu/Luke scenes were really well done, though very sad. There was a lot of uncomfortable truth in some of those moments. I like how it played out with Dillon and Georgie as well. Pretty much every character handled things in a way I was satisfied with. The aftermath is less than convincing however. We’ll see; I’m giving it time. I’m going to assume the juvenile reverse psychology professor bit is to remind me that Lulu is still really just a child? At least I hope that’s the point.

What is it with Jason and wind? You *know* that while he was pretending to watch “Gone with the Wind” with Sam he was staring off into space while thoughts of painting the wind sauntered through his mind. Then he looked extra confused for a second before shaking his head and moving on to thoughts of serenading Sonny with “Wind Beneath my Wings” after their next “business meeting”.

Religiously fast-forwarding:
Nikolas/Emily/Nanny peeking around corner
Sonny and Carly – unless I see a new expression (which is rare)
Sonny and Jason and their “Oh my God we would NEVER sell drugs” business - it’s crime, like drug trafficking is, but it’s new improved crime. We’ll call it “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Narcotics”.

It was a very nice touch having Jax remember the miscarriage and check in with Liz that day. I also liked the scenes between him and Carly, and the one including Sonny. That stuff rang true – unlike some of the circular discussion going on between them all over the last few weeks. I’m really kind of tired of listening to discussion after discussion about whether they should give it a go or not. It’s one step forward and two back, several times each episode. Watching Carly dance to Sonny’s “He’s not for you” shtick is just disheartening as well. Best moment between S&C lately? “I will not tear you down again.” “I won’t let you.” This just better not be set up for another go-round. I don’t care what kind of good therapy and drugs either of them has partaken in; just spare us all.

I really dislike Sam. I have absolutely no interest in seeing her get Jason back. I’ve no idea why they keep meeting in secret locations to discuss how they can’t stand not seeing each other because it so limits their opportunity to discuss how they really can’t stand to see each other. I have no idea when the entire town (except Alexis – which might explain it right there since TPTB love to have Alexis stand alone on just about everything) decided to cheerlead for their reunion either, but it’s really annoying me. Jason is never more boring than when he’s looking at Sam. Sam is never more pathetic and needy than when looking into Jason’s eyes. It feels really one-sided and makes Sam appear on the brink of a mental break. One minute it’s “I can’t do it, I have obligations!” The next it’s “Please, can we make this work?” The next it’s “You can’t even stand it when I say the name of the guy I slept with last week, this’ll never work!” It’s just pitiful. This exchange about sums it up:
Sam: “I want to know if traffic was bad!”
Jason: “Sam, they have weather and traffic on the nines for that – can’t you go salvage a radio?”
What? That’s what I heard.

I could’ve lived without Sonny and Carly’s comedy hour in Alexis’ hospital room, frankly. I could go with Alexis deciding to listen to the majority, but implying hatred of Carly is the one thing that makes her want to live is just a low blow.

So I’m watching without benefit of spoilers. I mean I literally have NO idea what’s coming up. I have to tell you, it most definitely adds to the viewing experience. I understand why people love spoilers, and I’m not saying I won’t go back, but darn if this isn’t kind of fun. When Lucky fired his gun wildly and hit Liz, I was aghast! I know, I know, I can hear you all now – snorting at me. “Isn’t she cute, with all that unspoiled naiveté? She’s worrying about Liz as though a drug-abusing cop thug would be allowed to harm Sir Jason’s offspring! Pfft.” But I’m telling ya, while you all were laughing your asses off at Liz’s lame fall to the ground and pshawing at the attempt to hide her identity until Monday (or whenever it was), I could be quoted thusly: “That little live-to-score, OxyContin inhaling worm DID NOT just shoot Liz! Did he? Oh c’mon! Maybe that wasn’t even Liz! They didn’t show her face…probably it’s not her. Maybe it’s Sam! They showed her waiting for Jason on that stupid roof to trick me, but now she’s dead! Woowhoo! Wait, will Jason get all bunched up about this and hate Liz? Crap. What other brunettes are there? How long until the next episode again?” Yep, tis true. Sure, it was still kinda lame when she bounded to her feet on Monday and I realized I was all worked up for nothing, but I must admit, the excitement and speculation was nice for a change. If I had already known she was fine (and that it was even her!), I’d just have been laughing at GV’s “high” act and wondering why Jason didn’t just point over Lucky’s head and say “Look! Pills!” then rush him while The Luckster was trying to pick an imaginary fix out of the air. Besides, the doctor says if I don’t stop rolling my eyes so often they might get stuck in the two o’clock position and it won’t be attractive in the least, so this is all for the best.

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