This Week’s Specials – GH
By The Gourmez
A movie star has taken up residence in Port Charles so I’ve whipped up a specials menu full of Hollywood fun. Try the Pacific oysters on the half shell, and glam them up with some cayenne and fried leeks. Or perhaps you’d prefer the sophisticated lobster, prosciutto, and scallion quiche, topped with a slice of melted star power. Whatever you try, you must end your meal with a flute of our house-made Pineapple Sparkler; it’s so bright, you’ll be dazzled just looking at it.
I never, ever, want to know what Diane and Max did with a plunger and rubber gloves.
TMI
So Franco has arrived, both the character and the actor. Are you enjoying his scenes so far? Other than a predisposition to stare at people through squinted eyes, I am quite happy with him.
The Squinty Eye Evaluation
However, if Franco was just a slightly disturbed artist and not one that also breaks people’s windpipes, I could get into the character more. My hang up is that we already have enough murderers on this show. Introducing a new one just makes me wish for more originality.
Sam McCall, I’ve got news for you — Jason is an amoral animal. Killing people to protect you and yours is only honorable if you have no other options. Jason chose to live a mobster’s life, chose to pull a trigger multiple times not just to protect people but to gain power in that life, and continues to associate with those same people he is supposedly protecting when doing so puts them in more danger than if he broke off ties. He’s a killer by choice, not because he just happens across situations where those loves are in danger; his choices created those situations in the first place. Does anybody have a bottle of vodka we can give this woman? She thinks much more clearly when she’s drunk.
You have to love soap sound effects. Maxie threw a glass against the wall and it sounded like she’d broken a whole liquor cabinet! Though, in a metaphorical sense, I suppose she did. Somehow, I don’t think Spinelli’s going to be so forgiving this time when he learns she slept with Franco. The artiste played her like a fiddle and she might have broken a few strings in the process. He riled up her sense of rebellion and she caved in to it. I thought they were pretty hot, though.
Spinelli’s tender concern and bringing of soup was also hot. Maxie definitely looks like she regrets the sexcapades for now, but I’m not sure I buy that a monogamous relationship is for her.
I really wish soap writers would just retire the device of having characters talk to God to explain their feelings. Olivia was but the latest offender. Soap opera characters, by their nature, have bizarre moral compasses and that’s what makes them entertaining. Having them appeal to God, when they’ve broken a million commandments and somehow still don’t get struck by lightning while asking for forgiveness or supplication is not. I’d prefer soaps to be religion-free, personally, but only because trying to justify their professed beliefs with their behaviors gives me a headache.
Sonny’s Despicable Act of the Week: Using Kate as a reason to manipulate her cousin into providing an alibi by “supporting” her art show. You know, Kate, the woman he was going to marry before she was shot down by a rival mob boss at their wedding? Kate, Olivia’s cousin that he’s been trying to sleep with for months? Not to mention that it’s only been about two weeks since Claudia was killed, and to have Sonny flirting with Olivia so soon just seems wrong. I know he mostly hated Claudia’s guts, but still, can’t his little buddy take a back seat for a month or so? The runner up for this award was Sonny telling Dante and Lucky that having a cop for a son would be worse than having his child follow in his footsteps. He’s such an upstanding citizen of Port Charles.
Or so Lulu would have us believe. I am so perplexed by her joy at knowing she holds Dante’s life in her hands. Sometimes, she’s supposedly worried about him but other times she positively gloats about the knowledge and speaks of it loudly in public places. She did look fetching at the art show, though, so I can’t blame Dante for continuing to pursue her. I can blame him for not throwing in the towel on the investigation. He better once he knows Johnny’s also in on the secret, or it’ll be a sign that he’s come down with Port Charles’ Dumb Police syndrome already. I love that Johnny plans to fully support his investigation and throw popcorn from the peanut gallery, but regardless, Dante’s got to wise up and get out. I know he won’t, but I can dream, can’t I? Lucky appears to be making a recovery from that specific disorder lately; perhaps he’ll be able to get Dante some treatments.
I am counting down the days until Rebecca’s departure with bated breath and shaken martinis. The character stopped being interesting the moment her more fiery qualities disappeared. Now, she’s like Emily-lite and I’d rather just have Emily fulfill that role.
I’m going to be in Costa Rica for the next week, so there won’t be any specials on the menu then! Stop by for a bite the week after.
The Gourmez
Tweet me @thegourmez!
Pictures courtesy of LaurieLuvsLiason and Glamour Girl K Storms.
