OLTL Spoiler Commentary
By Katrina Rasbold
For the week of February 1st…
One Life to Live has once again proven its strength in subtly rolling us into a quality February Sweeps time. A tremendous attribute to the show is its ability to build the suspense on several different smaller stories and draw them all together into a fantastic climax. Whereas General Hospital prefers the “Cataclysmic Event” approach, OLTL sneaks up on you by gently garnering interest in the human aspects of what’s going on with some great, soapy drama thrown in.
Stacy’s notlabor has begun with nothing more than some good ol’ H2O being tossed in the floor. I found myself saying, “Splash some on your crotch, honey, or people are going to wonder how it got from point A to point B!” Her confident smile while on the phone to Kim is not going to stay there long as she ends up, quite literally, “out in the cold.”
John adds a jail break to his long list of felonies as Brody and Natalie speed him off to find Jessica. Apparently, he’s the only one who can and serves as the magic ticket. Could Brody not go alone? They end up running the whole plan off in a ditch (again, quite literally) while they leave poor Marty to take the fall.
Could Dorian possibly dress a little bit more like a rich woman who is trying to have someone killed? All she needed was a long, Gloria Swanson cigarette holder and she and Charlie would have been Llanview’s version of Boris and Natasha.
Rex gets his heart broken when Gigi tells him of her love for Schuyler, but when Schuyler himself has an accident and sets out on foot in the blizzard, Rex finds his backpack and a little surprise inside.
Mitch is forced to come up with a new plan when he realizes that “The Chosen One” isn’t quite as “chosen” as he thought and is actually of no relation to him at all. Kudos to Bree Williamson for tearing up the screams old school Jamie Lee Curtis style just before Mitch prepared to jump start her battery!
Now let’s go line by line and dissect all that’s in store for us this week:
Danielle and Matthew share a kiss.
My first instinct is to say “With whom?” but that is completely tactless. Snow hit my satellite dish at the exact moment Matthew was having his reconciliation talk with Destiny and by the time the broom, the 6 foot ladder and my frozen bones made it back inside, I’d missed the scene. I am so disappointed that the powers that be had to bring in a Barbie-doll type for Matthew instead of allowing Destiny to take on the Junior Leading Lady status. Such a shame…
Langston runs into Ford again and heatedly denies that she was looking for him and not Markko.
If Langston runs into Ford, what do you want to bet she backs up and runs into a few more times? That girl’s got it bad and Markko should start looking around for a new main squeeze. I think the writing is on the wall for this one and it doesn’t spell “Super Couple.”
Ford offers to let Langston use his office to do her writing and she accepts.
Something tells me that Langston is going to be an extremely prolific writer.
Kyle tells Roxy that Stacy’s baby is not Rex’s.
This puts the information onto a speed dial status for getting to Rex.
Natalie and Brody are successful in busting John out of jail.
I honestly can’t recall the last time I heard about a jail break on the news. Does that still happen?
Marty is arrested by Lowell for “aiding and abetting a criminal.”
Interesting that he can do that when he is a criminal himself. The irony is nearly palpable.
Mitch catches Jessica trying to call Brody on Nurse Charles’ cell phone.
Something tells me Nurse Charles is going to catch a beating for her cell phone carelessness.
Brody is sure the mysterious cell phone call was from Jessica.
I wonder if having “Nurse Charles” come up on his caller ID was his first clue.
Mitch prepares to erase Jessica’s memory.
Pity he can’t just pick her up and shake her like an etch-a-sketch. That would be so much more entertaining. Love his maniacal screams and laughs. He’s such a fantabulously awful villain. *sigh* I wub him.
Brody and John avoid the cops and find out that Mitch is using an abandoned observatory on Llantano Mountain as his hideaway.
CLEVER! Almost as good as when Troy MacIver (or was it Colin?) was strapped to the wheel o’fun with the poisonous spider or whatever in the toy warehouse. Lindsay certainly had an excellent imagination. Lord, I miss that girl.
Dorian and Charlie accidentally run John, Natalie and Brody off the road and into a ravine.
…proving out that no bad deed goes unpunished…
Natalie is injured in the accident, but John and Brody are fine.
They surrrrre are. Oh, yes, got it. Natalie is trapped, not a good Natalie day, I’m guessing.
John tries to save Natalie from the car wreckage while Brody sets out on foot to try and locate Jessica.
I hope he brought his Donner Meat Processing Kit because I’m betting it’s going to be a long walk.
Rex takes Stacy and Kim to the hospital, believing that the baby is coming.
I wonder if Stacy has considered the fact that she is, indeed, actually pregnant and will, indeed, go into labor and then will, indeed, have a child? She’s been so busy focusing on getting pregnant and looking more pregnant than she is and going into labor before she should that I don’t think she’s given a lot of consideration to the whole mommying idea.
Schuyler prepares to give Stacy the oxytocin, but decides against it at the last moment, deciding to take his chances with Gigi.
How can this be? A man who actually does the right thing? Must be a writing glitch.
Rex runs into Gigi at the hospital and tries to maintain his composure when she tells him she’s in love with Schuyler.
OW!! But you know, who wouldn’t be? Schuyler is pretty much Rex’s doppelganger without the baggage of having slept with her sister… although he doesn’t know that… and Gigi doesn’t know that he did sleep with her, even though he didn’t. Gigi is going to have to start looking for people who DIDN’T sleep with Stacy and well, good luck with that, darlin.
Mitch finds out that Stacy is in “labor” and sends Nurse Charles out to get her and bring her back to him.
I see Nurse Charles has survived the whole cell phone brouhaha and is now up to her ample eyebrows in kidnapping again. I wonder if it’s one count of kidnapping or two if birth is imminent?
Dorian and Charlie also try to kidnap Stacy from the hospital to use as Mitch Bait, but Nurse Charles takes Stacy from them at gunpoint.
I guess Charlie forgot the stupid gun. I doubt Stacy has had this many people wanting a piece of her since she was last on stage.
Dorian and Charlie race after Nurse Charles, which is when they end up running Natalie, John and Brody off the road.
Note to those intending this action: Do not “race off” after anyone in a blizzard. It’s just bad business.
Rex realizes that Stacy is missing.
The silence around him must have clued him in. Can that girl talk or WHAT?
He and Kim figure out that Mitch has her.
Kim… figures out something? Sorry, I’m crediting this one to the private detective (who hasn’t gotten a CLUE about Stacy, so obviously isn’t very good at his job).
Stacy panics when she finds Jessica, totally out of it.
She’d better watch her step lest Mitch and Nurse Charles get Optimus Prime all fired up for another round of electroshock fun.
Thinking she’ll save herself, Stacy confesses to Mitch that the baby is not Rex’s.
As the Templar said to Indiana Jones, “[S]he chose… poorly.” Stacy is not famous for coming up with the wisest way of dealing with stressful situations and this time, she really blew it.
Furious, Mitch throws her out into the blizzard.
Cue the labor, I guess. I’m sure she’ll have a little baby-cicle in no time.
Schuyler wrecks his car trying to get to the cabin to see Gigi.
He’s really having to work to tell her that he slept with her sister when he actually didn’t. Talk about insult to insult to injury!
Rex and Fish go to look for Stacy and find Schuyler and Dorian’s wrecked cars.
I’d say they got the better end of that deal.
Dorian and Charlie, who have been on foot since their own accident, are surprised to find Gigi at Viki’s cabin when they go there for refuge.
They really need to keep better track of Viki’s business so they’ll know what to expect.
Mitch comes up with an even more insidious plan to bring “the chosen one” into the world.
If there’s a turkey baster involved, I’m so outta here.
Schuyler fights the storm to get to Gigi.
It’s all soooo Fabio paperback romance cover…
Charlie goes off in search of Jessica while Gigi goes to look for Schuyler.
And Katrina goes to look for her fast forward button during this part.
Rex finds Schuyler’s backpack and something interesting inside it.
Stacy’s baby-cicle? New hair for Gigi? A bolt of lightning to take him back in time to a place where he had not yet met Stacy? Starr’s phone number? The mind fairly boggles…
See all of you next week. I wish you a happy and restful and fun weekend!
January 31st, 2010 at 8:24 am
You know, my daughter and I were wishing that Jess could conjure up Tess (for the fight) and then Bess (to calmly torture Mitch). Talk about using your alters for Good….
February 2nd, 2010 at 10:51 am
I ` am so done with the altars of Tess and Bess I was hoping for once that Jesscia would be able to save herself and no it doesn`t happen again she is written as the victam of the year.