January 26, 2007

It’s starting, the big catastrophic, life altering, relationship dooming, things will never be the same event on General Hospital.  Welcome to sweeps month.  We’re going to see a lot of changes on the show.  Guza and Frons have promised nothing but excitement, ‘24 ’style.  But of course it’s in soap form so it’s really only in ‘16’ style.  When budgets are concerned, things move swiftly on soaps.    

We already know some of the events that will take place during sweeps.  Alan Q is going to that great, big hospital in the sky.  Sonny gets his pompous, self-righteous ass kicked, but good.  Robin gets shot.  But there’s more.  Oh yes, there’s much more.  This is a sweeps month, after all.  Here’s a few spoilers that haven’t yet hit the internet or soap mags.  I pulled some strings and got a hold of some prime information and I’m passing it along.  Remember, you heard it here first.   

Carly and Sonny are trapped together in the hotel.  Ready to consummate their marriage, Sonny goes into romance mode.  Carly, fed up with Sonny and her life revolving around him, is the one who kicks his pompous, self-righteous ass, but good.  

Jax comes back, sneaks into the hotel to save Carly and sees her beating the she-aut out of Sonny.  He cheers her on, throwing in a punch or three for Brenda.  

Liz frets about telling Jason the baby is his.  

Speaking of Brenda, she’s been mysteriously staying at the hotel.  Caught in the middle of the explosion, she meets her real and final demise.  Brenda bits fly all over PC.  Carly sees a Brenda finger flying past, catches it and decides to stick it in Sonny’s small coffee.  (You thought she was going to stick it somewhere else, didn’t you?  Come on, you can admit it!) 

Liz saves Robin.  They escape from the hotel and hide in her studio where they fall in love and decide to raise Liz’s children on their own.  

Patrick gets a brow wax. 

Mac heads up the hostage situation.  Oh, wait.  No he doesn’t.  Ric does.  The DA does everything in PC.  Mac takes orders and watches as his department screws up for the billionth time.  

Bobbie gets botox. 

Liz frets about telling Jason the baby is his.  

Monica buys a new wig to wear to Alan’s funeral.   

Skye blames Alcazar for the bombing and their hostage status.  She screams and rants and then decides out of nowhere to stand by her man.  

Pete finishes his novel. 

Emily and Nik are killed by Helena upon leaving the hospital.   They never make it to the hotel but she tosses their bodies into the mess so everyone thinks they died in the explosion.  

Robert, who’s trained in all things espionage is nowhere in sight during the 16 hour crisis.   

Maxie gets trapped in the vault with one of the crooks.  They do the big nasty and low and behold, she ends up preggers!  And this time it’s for real! 

Liz frets about telling Jason the baby is his and that she and Robin are going to raise it together.  

Knowing he’s going to be a father, Jason calls Sonny on his cell phone to inform him of the news.  Sonny, lying in a puddle of his own blood tells Jason there’s only one thing to do to fix the situation.  He orders Jason to kill Robin.  

Carly gets a whore blouse.   

Alexis stupidly lights up a joint just as the hotel explodes.  Opps.  

Sam escapes from the hotel but not before quitting her job.  She runs into a man who offers her a job in Alaska.  She takes it. Bye bye Sam! 

Max walks around the hotel with a white bubble over his head that says, “I can’t believe a bomb exploded while I was taking a dumb.  Damn, Carly’s going to fire me for sure.  I’m gonna have to go back to making freaking lattes again!”  

Lulu and Dillon run around the hotel asking all of the vets if they killed Rick Webber.   

Lucky decides to be the hero everyone thought he was and sneaks into the hotel.  Not knowing what to do, he walks into the main lobby area with a tub of “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter” and a loaf of bread.  He figures, if you can’t beat ‘um.  Feed ‘um.  

Michael is sorased to the age he should be since all of the other kids on the show have aged and he hasn’t.  

Laura comes out of her screwed up mental/physical state and decides to open a boutique in Maine.  

Liz frets about telling Jason the baby is his and Carolyn gets so frustrated she throws books at the TV.  

Scotty comes back and looks better than ever! 

Epiphany saves the day.   With Robert of course.

Carolyn