January 1, 2007

In times past it had been declared in the online community that Father Clarence was evil.  I couldn’t really find myself agreeing.  Sure, he was cloying, annoying, and just plain boring.  But evil?  Nah.  Well, my friends, I have seen the light.  Or rather, the darkness.  Father Clarence is evil.  Anyone who would deny it have only to view the scene where he smiles in satisfaction as Tad bonds with little Kathy, while her adoptive mother lies in the next room fighting for her life, filled with despair over the death of her husband.  This is the Christmas miracle?  A horrible, violent end to Kate’s adoptive parents as the method by which she will be reunited with her true parents?  And what of the fact that Julia had wished for a child?  Will she bond with Kathy, begin to think of herself as the child’s new mother, only to have to hand her over to Dixie when the truth comes out?  My goodness, I can’t wait till Julia’s dear friend Linda finally kicks the bucket.  This interloper needs to be disposed of so we can march on towards our goal of bringing Kate back to where she belongs. 

I want Dixie and Tad to have their child back.  That isn’t the issue.  I’m just really disgusted in the method by which it is coming about.  Killing off the adoptive parents is gruesome enough.  Making their death a violent one while implying it is some sort of Christmas miracle is really, really appalling. 

To be fair, it would be really difficult to achieve such a goal without there being some level of discomfort.  We’ve already felt major discomfort when Tad and Dixie were challenging the paternity of Emma and Annie was ready to fight them tooth and nail.  Would we be subjected to a similar battle between parents?  If we are to avoid such a thing, we then have to go with other convenient methods.  Perhaps the adoptive parents are unfit in some way – abusers, molesters, drug users, etc.  Perhaps they are simply absentee.  Rich people that went to Doctor Madden to buy the perfect child, and once obtained she was passed over to a nanny and brought out only on special occasions.  In such situations, it would be easy to root for Tad and Dixie to get their child back.  No guilt over ripping her out of the arms of loving adoptive parents.  If any of these situations had come to pass, I probably would have rolled my eyes.  I think given the choice between those scenarios and the one that is playing out, I’d rather be rolling my eyes than having a bad taste in my mouth. 

I could only come up with one scenario that might not have left me feeling annoyed or disgusted.  One that, I think, could have been very soapy.  Imagine Madden handing over baby Kate to an ecstatic couple.  Imagine that the mother was much more ecstatic than the man.  Imagine that she had been yearning for a child for so long, that her whole world revolves around her new baby.  The marriage breaks up and she is left raising her daughter alone.   She reads about Madden’s death, and all the nasty rumors of his unethical practices.  She reads about the murder trial, and this Dixie Martin person who claims that Doctor Madden would not reveal where her child was.  The mother feels a spark of unease over the fact that this woman’s child is the same age as her adopted daughter.  Then one day she gets some horrible news.  She has cancer, and it is so advanced that she has not long to live.  Not having any family that could take proper care of her daughter, she is reminded of Dixie Martin and her claim that she had given up her child only when she thought she was dying.  The woman wonders if Doctor Madden used nefarious means when obtaining her daughter for her.  Were this child’s parents, like the Martins, yearning for their lost little girl?  She decides to go visit Hazel (yes, Hazel is still around!) and demand the truth.  Hazel reveals all.  Her adopted child was none other than the one the Martins had been searching for!  The woman, now quite ill, meets with Tad and Dixie and tells them everything.  Dixie and the woman bond, and she is truly upset when the woman succumbs to the cancer and dies.  The reunion of Kate with her parents is bittersweet. 

Might this scenario also be considered too pat?  Sure!  Is it easier to swallow than the other scenarios suggested?  To me, yes.  Of course, it took me just a few hours of mulling it over to come up with it.  Maybe given more time and lots of money, I could have come up with something even better!  Sorry, my ego is swelling a bit.  Feel free to give it a prick.  I tend to go through this in my head with many of the storylines that have crossed my path.  Am  I way out of line, here?  Am I blowing this out of proportion?  Making too much out of the deaths of a couple of day players?  Feel free to e-mail me and tell me that I’m reading too much Dean Koontz or something.  I can handle disagreement – it gives me perspective.   

I already had a prolonged rant last week about Kendall keeping Emma’s paternity a secret, but there was one point I forgot to make and I’d like to make it now.  I care about Kendall, and it has always pained me in the past when actions of hers have turned around and bitten her in the ass.  It is so going to happen here.  This may be a kinder and gentler Ryan, but I cannot imagine that he wouldn’t feel betrayed by her keeping such a thing from him.  Everything that Josh said about his bond with Emma was right on the money.  Kendall is clearly afraid of what would happen if she tells Ryan the truth.  How much worse will it be if he finds out some other way?  I don’t want to have to see Kendall deal with that kind of fallout.  It’s the Soap People Never Learn Syndrome, and it can be both sad and tiresome to watch. 

I was getting rather annoyed that Liza was being made out to be a deadbeat mom, so I was relieved when Marian came in and gave a plausible reason for her absence.  I never like it when off-screen characters are maligned as a way to explain why they are no longer on the canvas.  Kind of like the recent brouhaha with Maggie. 

Lots of lovely squishy moments this week:  Spike getting a leather jacket and lucky penny t-shirt from the Lavery side of the family (so cute you want to barf), Josh bonding with Erica, Jack and Erica reuniting (YAY!), Sean and Colby basking in their victory, the Wildwind gang rallying around Kathy (even though they laid it on rather thick), Emma being held up by the Lavery brothers (it screamed “God bless us, everyone!”), Sean giving Jack his money back and Jack’s befuddlement, Bianca and Kendall having a heart to heart about Bianca’s love life (“You let me break it down, sister.”), the bemused smile on Bianca’s face as she admitted about Zarf, “He excites me.” 

Long overdue, but well worth it moment of the week:  Listening to Tad go on and on about Zach’s shenanigans over the years.  I also loved their annoyance with each other – Tad frustrated at being stonewalled and Zach battling demons.  Then Tad gets a call and all the anger drains out of him.  I love watching these two work together. 

Mental image I could really do without:  “They’re pumping and I’m on the dust bunnies!” 

Most tiresome moment of the week, part 1:  Adam suggesting that Tad and Dixie be the godparents to Charlotte, while Krystal and Dixie squirmed so much you’d think Little Adam’s ant colony broke. 

Most tiresome moment of the week, part 2:  Babe acting so condescending and bitchy to Josh right up until she saw a pretty, sparkly present on his dresser.  Then she had hearts flying out of her eyes.  You know, I really don’t set out to dislike Babe – I make an effort to try and see characters as three-dimensional.  But she is constantly being portrayed as shallow and flaky - it’s ridiculous.  On two different occasions Zarf was hinting that he wanted to share something with her that was deeply important to him, and she was literally fidgeting and acting like she couldn’t be bothered.  Whatever. 

That was the fakest snowman I have ever seen.  I felt sorry for the various characters trying unsuccessfully to perform their various tasks in regards to the wretched thing.   

Thanks for reading.  Happy New Year!

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