January 23, 2006

I gotta hand it to Ryan.  At least he is true to form.  Of course he doesn’t trust Kendall.  He never has, and never will.  Part of me wanted her to rip his head off, but I think she actually had a very good reaction to him.  It was one of amusement, as if she knows just what he thinks of her, but couldn’t care less.  She’s humoring him – the ex-boyfriend who is a putz, but he’s the father of her child, so waddyagonnado?  I loved how it contrasted so well with the subsequent Zen scenes, where Zach didn’t demand to know what she had talked about with Ryan, and when she told him anyway, he told her he trusted her judgement.  I wonder if she gets motion sickness from these abrupt paradigm shifts. 

I have to gush at the angsty scenes between Zach and Kendall on Friday.  One of the things that breaks my heart about Zach is what little worth he places on himself.  If anyone shows admiration for him, it makes him crawl right out of his skin.  I loved how he tried to put the focus on Kendall and her worthiness, and she smiled and thanked him for noticing – then vowed to make him realize his own worthiness.  Cry! 

Much as I would have liked Kendall to open Zach’s shirt all the way and really put her hand in there, I can see that it would have been torture for poor Zach.  I like that he decided not to twist himself into a pretzel on Kendall’s couch and slept in her bed instead.  How strange it must have been for her to have him there  – the first time she was ever in bed with a man and the springs didn’t get a workout.   

Being in love with Kendall must have really scrambled Zach’s brain (to use a Ryism), because how else would one explain why he would do something so completely and utterly stupid as to hide a file by taping it under his desk.  I mean, even Di was smarter than that.  When Tad looked at the bottom of her dresser drawers, he found a message from her telling him to get over himself.  Its also possible that Zach had a lobotomy recently.  That would explain why he has an old day calendar lying around with absolutely nothing in it except a doodle of a lightning bolt.  Or maybe…I don’t know…he’s being set up.  And whoever did it knew that Ryan has too large an ego to realize that Zach is not really that much of a flake.  I don’t know, I could be biased towards that theory.  I could be so addled by the numerous masterminds setting people up all over Pine Valley that I figured one more wouldn’t hurt. 

I felt bad for Zach, automatically thinking that Ryan was using Ethan to stick it to him.  Little did he know that Ethan still harbors ill will for his dad.  I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.  The Cambias men seem to enjoy a legacy of having severe daddy issues.  

The concept of Maria calling Zach, at the behest of Ethan, to warn him away from Kendall and Ryan, is so completely and utterly ridiculous….I just can’t even go into it.  Eva, honey, you just enjoy playing Natalia Boa Vista on CSI: Miami, and hopefully not notice that they are defaming your former role.  Not that I had this great love for Maria, but dang that was just wrong on so many levels.   Or…maybe I stumbled into an alternate universe.   

Speaking of alternate universes, when Zach walked into Ryan’s office and they stared each other down, I had a sudden image in my head of the movie Spaceballs, when Dark Helmet and Lone Star were comparing each other’s Schwartz. 

I like how Julia talked to Ryan about Zach being dangerous, and it segued to Zach bringing Kendall breakfast.  More proof that the writers are trying to make Ryan, Ethan, Simone and Julia out to be complete idiots.  Of course, I’m in complete agreement that Zach is dangerous.  But mob dangerous?  So if you own casinos, then you are automatically a member of the Mob.  No stereotyping there!  Zach has been known to cross the line.  But there is crossing the line and there is building a house and settling in permanently across that line.  

I was a bit surprised by my reaction when Julia held up the handcuffs to Ryan and Kendall walked in.  I thought, “Dang it, Kendall, go away!  This could have been fun!”  I’m cracking up that Julia waited around for Kendall to leave.  Kinda freaky.  Too bad their involvement with each other is going to include getting in Zen business.  How tedious. 

I am having a bit of trouble wrapping my mind around Julia in the role of temptress.  I like that she has chemistry with David.  I don’t like that he is acting like a horndog around her.  I’ve seen enough of this with JR and Kendall.  It makes me wince to see them beg.  These are hot looking guys.  Dude, if she’s not interested, move on to some other chick.  Don’t debase yourself.  And that goes for the women, too.  *staring hard at Di* 

I liked Di’s description of a crazy, reckless, doomed love affair.  Sometimes her longing for Tad icks me out (shades of desperation), but I like that she can hold her own with him in the snark department. 

Line of the week from JR about the steel drum player:  “Does he know Sabbath?” 

Awww, JR took The Branch with him on vacation. 

Babe finally realized the flaw in her plan.  If she divorces JR and sues for sole custody, its only going to cause their son even more grief.  Guess you’ll just have to marry him and live happily and dysfunctionally ever after. 

I couldn’t help but notice that all the captives in the truck except Adam lay down on the floor to lessen the effects of the gas, yet they succumbed to it much sooner than Adam.  For awhile I began to wonder if he was immune to laughing gas.  Turns out he just has a very strong resistance to it.  I just love cosmic jokes like that. 

My three year old daughter was enthralled with Janet during some of her scenes this week.  Kat usually doesn’t pay any notice to the screen unless Mr. Kaye or Miss Minshew are on.  But since Janet is a cartoon, naturally it drew her attention.  Sometimes Janet is funny, but other times she is tiresome.  That’s a red flag that a character is on too much, when any enjoyment you have for the character erodes over time. 

Tad said about the kidnapper, “More than that -- they're brilliant. We're talking about an ingenious multitasker here, somebody who's great with details, with plotting, with planning, seeing the big picture, tearing it down and putting it back together like some kind of jigsaw puzzle.”  On the one hand, I would agree.  She managed to find a pool of quicksand large enough to accommodate a truck on such short notice.  On the other hand, her planning skills need a little work if she comes up with her ideas after petulantly tossing a toy truck into a ginormous bowl of oatmeal.  I like how her lightbulb moment juxtaposed nicely with Ryan’s lightbulb moment when Kendall tripped over the plug.  

I really had to laugh at the camera work with the truck.  It was pretty obvious that when Janet started up the truck and bounced along, that the truck wasn’t actually going anywhere – the camera was just moving towards the back to simulate movement.  I can forgive that.  But what was really funny was when Janet arrived at the quicksand and the camera briefly showed the back of the truck again – you could still see the guard rail from the previous scene.   

Heartburn  - jeez don’t get me started about heartburn during pregnancy.  I had a pretty easy pregnancy, except for the heartburn.  The stereotype is that pregnant women weep at Hallmark commercials.  I wept at acid reflux commercials.  Having had that experience, I was a bit skeptical that Kendall was afraid for the baby, considering the discomfort was many inches north of where her uterus resides. 

A Zanita moment!  Once she got past her initial distrust, Anita is one of the few people in town that doesn’t feel  intimidated, threatened, or annoyed by Zach.  She’s part of the club now – welcome! 

I loved the cameo by Richard Masur.  “Never speak to a network executive like that, again!” 

Thanks for reading.  Cheers! 

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