January 29, 2006

I think I heard that Zach was stabbed by Erica at the end of Friday’s show.  I must have missed it – I was too blinded by the full set of pearly whites that Zach flashed earlier in the episode.  I’ll have to watch it again when the spots in front of my eyes disappear. 

I think I am going to get whiplash from watching Simone.  She seems to toggle a lot between vindictive bitch and charming doof.  At the beginning of the week she was the bitchiest I think I have ever seen her, and I’m counting the times she has fought with the other Fusion ladies.  Her feelings for Ethan have always made her biased against Zach, but her rudeness reached new heights.  I sort of expect bitter remarks from Ethan, but Simone just went on and on and ON.  And then she has an epiphany that Zach really does love his son.  Even more remarkable, she defends his alleged blackout scheme by saying it was a romantic attempt to save Kendall from making a big mistake.  And she follows it up by trying to get Ethan and Ryan to put things in perspective by asking if it is really necessary to dump this in Kendall’s lap.  Simone, Simone – how is it you make me hate you and love you in the space of one week?   

I’ve done enough spewing about Ethan and Ryan.  I could address their outrage at Zach’s alleged actions, but the poo is piled too high and deep – I don’t have a full body suit and oxygen tank in my wardrobe.  

I would, however, like to address Ms. Di Henry. I could understand her working undercover against Dr. Madden - she didn't know him at all, had no reason to believe anything good, bad, or indifferent about him.

But Zach?  When the whole world crapped all over her (because she deserved it), he was nice to her and listened to her moan about Tad.  He shared a bit of himself with her.  They saw glimpses of each other that no one up to that point had seen.  He offered her a job at his casino to show that his initial opinion of her from the Dragon storyline had changed - she was worthy of trust and regard, at least to him. 

Cut to months later, she walks in on a conversation and has no idea what has been said other than that Tad doesn't know how to get to Zach. All of a sudden its "Wheee! What a lark! I get to play snoop and suck up to Tad!" 

Seriously, I always gave her a lot of slack, even though she had done some hurtful things.  But her behavior was cold-blooded.   She appears to actually enjoy being in the position of making people trust her and then betraying them.  I know what you’re thinking – DUH!  She pretended to be Dixie!  But she seemed to feel badly about that, and I was too charmed by Kelli Giddish to care.  Plus it made for great story.  But the thing with Tad and Ryan really rubbed me the wrong way.  There was absolutely no hesitation.  Not even a, "Well, gee, he was pretty nice to me, are you sure he's a bad guy?" 

I really, really hope that in the investigation against Zach, or maybe in another case down the road, her behavior comes back to bite her.  I'm not necessarily talking about Dixie coming back.  I'm talking about where her snooping around causes serious damage, and she realizes once and for all this isn't some game to get karma points.  Honey, your karma points just took a nose dive. 

I think I might faint dead away.  Kendall actually wore a pretty maternity top (the lavender spaghetti strap blouse).  She broke the rule about soap characters wearing fugly maternity clothes.  Eeeeek!  Never mind.  She reverted back to type with that inexplicable cream-colored, gold-dotted, chiffon-layered grandma number at the end of the week.  I’d give her points for being coordinated with Zach’s tie, but I’m giving those points to him.   

Zach is just so adorable.  He has this cynical outer shell that he tries to pass off to everyone, including Kendall.  Yet inside he is more vulnerable than he cares to admit.  He rambled on for five minutes before he was able to spit out a marriage proposal, and his relief at Kendall’s acceptance was palpable.  You could also see that Erica’s dismissal of him and his love for Kendall, and her continued insistence that Ryan and Kendall belong together, affected him.  I don’t know if it is so much that he really cares what Erica thinks of him, per se.  I think he just recognizes that family is important to Kendall, and he wants to be accepted into her family for that reason. 

Erica and Ryan are two of a kind.  They both promised Kendall to give Zach a chance, and both dropped any pretense of doing so as soon as Kendall was out of earshot.  Meanwhile Zach has made every attempt to keep his promises.  Its that Bizarro World thing again.   

It always freaks me out when Erica actually has some insight into another person.  Kendall was upset because Erica didn’t visit her in the hospital.  When Erica said she never got a call about it, Kendall proclaimed that she didn’t want Erica rushing over and making her feel worse.  Erica was right (gulp).  Kendall is a master at needing people and pushing them away at the same time.  On a side note, I found it a bit surprising that Kendall didn’t know about Erica’s abortion.  Scratch that - I was incredulous.  It never came up before?   

Which is creepier?  That Julia thinks it is such a great idea to adopt Ryan and Kendall’s baby, and doesn’t seem to be concerned over the fact that Kendall might be something of an obstacle – “I know that Kendall and I aren't exactly the best of friends” – um…yeah.  Or that Ryan apparently knows that Kendall will flip her lid, and so chooses not to tell her Julia’s idea right before their meeting with Livia.  I guess he has to make sure he has all his rights before springing such things on her.   

Someone in wardrobe PLEASE stop having the ladies wear so many bangles.  Its like hearing windchimes and it distracts from the dialogue.  Stoppit! 

I guess the phrase “your idiot brother” gained such popularity on the internet that the writers decided to continue the trend with “your idiot ex-husband.”  YIEH doesn’t seem as catchy as YIB, though.  Or maybe its because Zach voiced the first brilliant nickname, and Josh voiced the lackluster second one.  I had to laugh at Josh advising Babe.  “Do unto JR before he does unto you with a vengeance.”  Yeah, Josh.  Been there, done that.  Babe did take their son away from JR, and he did return the favor with a vengeance.  Josh thinks she should go for the sequel?  What a frickin idiot.  I did enjoy Babe’s attempt at describing what she feels for her ex-husband.  “I something JR.”   

JR makes such a big deal about being a ruthless SOB, yet when he does shmoopy, he really knows how to lay it on thick.  The scene where he gave Babe the star necklace was very sweet, but not too syrupy.   

 “Dear Lord, you get us all out of here alive, I swear I will be the most righteous woman that ever lived.”  Looks as if God is going to have to smite Krystal as well. 

Janet said Lamie!  These people are definitely reading the message boards.  *crosses fingers and hopes that someone on the show uses the term Ryass* 

I think one of the things that creeps me out about Janet is that she isn’t intentionally homicidal, she just has zero qualms about putting people in life-threatening situations. 

I think it is pretty obvious by now that I am ga ga over Zach Slater.  He is the soap love of my life.  But he is not my soap first love.  Oh no.  That honor goes to Robert Scorpio, from General Hospital.  When I watched GH from 1988-1991, I was deeply in love.  I was a teenager at the time, and he introduced me to the concept that a man doesn't have to be classically good looking for a woman to want to climb him like a redwood.  When I started watching, he was just breaking it off (mercifully) with Cheryl Stansbury.  His subsequent romance with Katherine Delafield had me glued to the TV screen.  When she left the show, I was so sad.  Imagine my surprise when he and Anna sizzled together - my broken heart was quickly healed.  I’m glad that I stopped watching the show (due to lack of time) before they married and blew to bits.   

Interestingly enough, Anna Devane was the reason I started watching All My Children in the first place.  And Robert Scorpio is the reason I will start watching GH again, after an almost 9 month hiatus.  I’ve kept up with GH and OLTL in the mags, just in case I wanted to pop in.  I will probably only watch for as long as Robert is on.   

When I saw pictures of Robert’s appearance next week, I admit to not feeling a great deal of excitement.  I wondered if the fire had been extinguished for good.  I guess I forgot the fact that a flat, lifeless picture of Robert does not do him justice in the least.  I turned on the last five minutes of GH on Friday and my heart stopped.  There he was.  Robert Scorpio.  Swaggering onto the screen and looking around in that “Whose ass do I have to kick, now?” way that only he has.  THUD.  Zach Slater, for six weeks or so you are going to have competition.  My old flame is back in town and I’m in the mood for a love triangle.  

Thanks for reading.  Cheers!

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