March 20, 2006

I swear with the Carey women, I never know what to expect.  Every gushy word out of their mouth could be completely sincere, or a complete load of garbage.  Their scarlet letter A’s have more than one meaning – Agenda as well as Adultery.  The only time I have any guarantee about their true feelings is when they talk to each other, so I have to assume Babe is sincere in her desire to give it an... uh... honest go of it with JR.  Krystal, on the other hand – I don’t know what her story is.  Her declaration of love to Adam was very stilted.  Was it because she couldn’t believe she had actually fallen for the enemy, or was it because she was lying through her teeth?  Same with the expression on her face when he hugged her to him.  She needs to go talk to Babe about her relationship with Adam, so I can get the Carey translation. 

It is common in soaps to not return to the exact reference point that was left in a previous segment.  But at least most of the time you can infer that between segments, all that happened was that someone moved across the room, or got a glass of water or something else innocuous.  Monday’s episode was so choppy, it looked as if whole conversations were left out.   

I loved the “come to Papa Madden” manner that Greg adopted with Kendall this week.  For one thing, it is more reminiscent of an OB/GYN’s typical manner than Greg’s usual cold fish routine (I remember my doctor would talk to my baby during each visit).  But since Greg isn’t your typical baby doctor (is there such a thing on a soap?), his warm and fuzzy bedside manner served to make him seem even creepier than usual.  Especially since it made Erica’s head fly off her body and orbit around the earth.  I loved it! 

Speculation is running rampant that in light of who is her doctor, and his history, that the baby Kendall is carrying is not in fact her own.  The scenes this week seemed to bear that theory out.  Kendall spoke with Madden about her feeling disconnected from her non-blood-related adoptive family.  Then she mentioned to Ryan about a thousand times that she doesn’t feel connected with the baby inside her.  Then there was Erica’s own speculations.  When she said that perhaps Madden has told women they had a miscarriage, and instead took their embryos to give to someone else, that set off alarm bells.  Greenlee supposedly miscarried.  But if Madden took her embryo with the intention of implanting it in Kendall, that would have taken an awful lot of planning and just plain luck.  What would be the motive?   

I’ll be perfectly honest – I absolutely cannot stand the growing connection between Kendall and Ryan.  As I mentioned before, she may be willing to forget his reprehensible behavior towards her, but I. just. can’t.  She can proclaim to the rooftops that the old Ryan is back, but I’m not convinced.  Especially since the only bad behavior they seem to be willing to acknowledge is his spiral out of control when Jonboy’s evilness was revealed.  Ryan started down the road to assiness the day he came back to Pine Valley and started messing with Kendall’s head.  I just realized that twice now he has ridden away from Pine Valley on his motorcycle (because he couldn’t deal with the fact that the women he loved weren’t perfectly adoring and obedient angels), and twice now he has come swaggering back into town in the most obnoxious way possible.  Ugh! 

But I appear to be digressing into a Ryan rant and not actually making my point.  My point is that I don’t want Ryan and Kendall bonding over this baby, and forgetting how toxic they are together.  So I am sincerely hoping that the speculation is true – that Dr. Madden has implanted Kendall with a child that is either not Ryan’s or not Kendall’s or whatever.  I’ve even got my own shrine, the Church of Madden, dedicated to worshipping our Lord Madden and his upcoming Revelation that will save us all from the dreaded Rendall Redux.  Yeah, I’m out of my mind.  But consider the fact that I have had to live through some really dreadful and drawn out pairings – Jason and Courtney on GH comes to mind – and watched couples I adored last all of two seconds – Jax and Skye comes to mind .  I think I am owed.  Big time.   

Having said that – I liked the scenes on Friday when Kendall was reading the adoptive parent profile and Ryan looked like he was ready to crawl right out of his skin.  It was honest and it was raw.  That type of thing intrigues me, because it highlights the messy side of this whole situation.  Ryan and Kendall are not on the same page at all when it comes to this child, and the inevitable conflict makes for good soap angst. 

Right on cue, the stereotypical pregnancy sex overdrive has kicked in.  It would have been funny to see Kendall’s reaction when Dr. Madden told her she could have sex.  “Fat lot of good that will do me, now!”  Maybe she could go to Zach and say “I forgive you, but only for the next couple of hours.” 

I don’t recall if I’ve said this before, so forgive me if I repeat, but Erin reminds me a lot of that girl from the Drew Carey Show.  I think they have similar voices (or accents) and mannerisms.  It was very apparent during the bowling and later scenes.  Tad and Di and Aidan and Erin were all very cute and charming.   

There was another one of those forest for the trees moments when Di said her lies have done a lot of damage, and Tad remarked that who in this town could not say the same thing.  Truer words were never spoken.   

Babe and JR were refreshingly honest with each other about all the lies and other nasty things they have done to each other.  Babe certainly has a unique perspective on their upcoming nuptials.  As she told her mama, she will go in hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.  Not the most romantic rose-colored glasses outlook, but this is Babe and JR.  It actually seems pretty appropriate. 

I like that we get some mystery surrounding Dixie’s survival of the car crash, and that the exposition wasn’t just an information dump so they could move on to other stuff.  Unlike most people on the show, we know she is alive.  But we don’t know why or how or what.  The tapping and counting during her delirium was very intriguing.  As is the unanswered question of what happened to baby Kate.  I hope Zach continues to help her, because she needs someone on her side who is completely impartial.  Everyone else has and will have their own set of emotions to deal with. 

I love the Dixie/Di confrontations – Cady and Kelli play them so well.  Having Zach thrown into the mix was just icing on the cake.  Yummy.  The line of the week goes to Di.  When Zach said he no longer judged people, she murmured, “Lest ye be judged.”  The line of the week is usually something that makes me laugh, and this was worthy of a chuckle, but I was more interested in the way she said it.  Kelli Giddish is an amazing actress, and she always knows how to give a phrase the right nuance, using the perfect expression.  I don’t always like Di – and sometimes I can’t stand her – but I love Kelli.   

I enjoyed the scenes between Erica and Tad.  He referred to the Josh secret as the monster in her pocket.  You’d think with everything these two have been through over the years, they would have realized by now that those monsters never stay in the pocket.   

Well, I didn’t get to watch GH at all this week.  I barely had time to watch AMC.  I started a new full-time job for the first time in three and a half years - I was a stay at home mom during that time.  My baby girl is going to be in full-time day care from now on, and it breaks my heart.  This is but the first of some major changes coming up in my life.  I doubt I will do a whole non-soapy column devoted to my personal drama, so I think I will tack the occasional update onto the end here.

Thanks for reading. Cheers!

Want more Dax?  Check out her website: