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April 10, 2006 Kendall loves to obsess, whether it is about the man she loves or the woman she hates. Back in round two of her relationship with Ryan, her inability to drop the subject of Greenlee was one of the contributing factors of their demise (of course, it was his inability to drop Greenlee that struck the death blow). Now she won’t let go of Julia, believing her to be plotting to take away her guy. In this case, it is the little boy she is carrying. I genuinely laughed when Ryan was trying to get Kendall to focus by imagining a world without Julia. Poor Ryan. He’s been here before. Did I just say “Poor Ryan?” Shoot me now. Kendall has always had a very strong reactive personality. If anyone tells her what to do or what she should think or feel, she will stubbornly do the opposite. Unfortunately, the Carey women, in all their gushy glory, set out to do just that this week. It’s a funny coincidence, but this week I was reviewing a transcript from February 2004, when Babe learns for the first time that her friend Bianca is pregnant, and has been hiding it from the world. She talks to Krystal about it, wondering at first why Bianca would want to hide something like that when she herself wanted to shout her pregnancy from the rooftops. Then she realized why Bianca was pregnant, and she and Krystal commiserated over how sad it all was. I’m sure they weren’t intending to sound condescending, but that was how it came across. Cut to two years later, and Kendall is getting the same treatment. I was a bit confused by the whole thing – does Babe not get why Kendall got pregnant in the first place? There’s nothing wrong with the bond that the Carey women have for each other and Little Adam. That is the way they express their love for each other. But anyone unfortunate enough to witness the full dose of their gushing will have to pay an emergency visit to their dentist. Kendall seems to think that this is how familial love should be expressed. Poor, poor Kendall – no wonder she is signing on the dotted line. She’s not seeing the forest for the trees. Witness her own behavior with Bianca. Kendall doesn’t go into raptures whenever her sister comes to visit, but neither she nor anyone else has ever questioned the love she has for Bianca. Kendall’s love for Bianca is fierce and strong and deep as the Amazon, and she doesn’t need to blather odes to sisterly love in order to demonstrate it. The whole custody issue regarding Kendall and Ryan’s unborn baby continues to become more and more bogged down in an ethical, emotional and moral quagmire. Kendall is being put into a position of deciding whether she and Ryan are fit parents to raise their child. Deciding whether she herself is a fit parent is difficult enough, but she also has to pass judgement on Ryan. What an awful thing to have to decide, and yet it is something she has to do. Those amoebas that just split in two and float off in different directions really don’t know how good they have it. I’m still enjoying the sister thing between Di and Dixie. Di cracks me up with her ego-centric point of view, imagining that everything Dixie does is to ruin her good time. She even said that Dixie was “circling my life like a vulture,” without any inflection of irony whatsoever. Another one who seems to have missed the seminar on irony is Doctor Madden. He lectures Julia about making a child your emotional bandaid, when he has freely admitted to everyone, and especially Josh, that he brought Josh into the world in order to prevent his wife from giving up on life. There is a new supercouple in the making. Zyan! Zach was employing all those moves that makes a girl melt. The self-deprecation, “I don’t do things right.” Waxing poetic, “Flesh and blood, never family.” The put-off, “I hate everybody, it’s part of my charm.” Ryan looked like a deer in the headlights, but I could see he was being drawn in. It’s only a matter of time before he’s trying to sabotage Zach’s relationship with Kendall because he wants Zach for himself. Okay, seriously, Kendall really should have gotten a clue when she walked out of Dr. Madden’s room and Erica, Ryan and Zach were all standing there together in one accord. I believe that is supposed to be the first sign of the apocalypse. Madden sooooo has 666 etched in his forehead. It’s kinda funny that out of everyone who keeps saying they are going to do something about Dr. Madden, the only one actually doing anything is Erica. Of course, everyone else’s moral compass, even Zach’s I guess, is slightly more centered than hers… Amanda is such a girl. She has a photo of Trevor in a frame that says in crayon letters “I love my daddy.” Myrtle’s wallpaper…goodness gracious, woman. No wonder Amanda wears a lot of retro stuff. She’s heavily influenced by the hypnotic pattern on the walls. I like how Erin is following Ryan’s example of declaring that she is putting her horrific childhood behind her, and Poof! Now everything is all better. Whew! Shoulda done that a lot sooner! I loved it when Ryan was assuring Jackson that Jonboy promised him he wouldn’t see Lily, and we immediately cut to Jonboy with….Lily. Oh those little white lies we tell... Another fun cutaway was when Kendall told Jackson about Lily hanging out with the resident serial killer, and we cut to Jonboy who beams that Kendall didn’t call him a serial killer! Anyone ever watch the Patty Duke Show? I loved it on Nick at Nite. When Jamie and Josh were facing off, I started singing, “Cousins! Identical cousins! One pair of matching bookends! Different as night and day!” I’m usually pretty lenient when it comes to writers trying to make characters do something to fit the intended action. I know how it is to fall in love with a certain idea and then have to do somersaults to make it work. But the intended action of having Dixie see Dr. Madden in ill health on the TV so she could blurt out the news that Kate is alive – well, that took some serious acrobatics. It required a) Erica to do a live show, when it has been apparent more than once in the past that it is usually taped; b) that the directors decide to keep the cameras rolling on a collapsed guest instead of cutting to commercial; and c) that in the middle of an argument with Zach, Dixie decided, sure why not, to turn on the television. Have I mentioned that Kendall is looking so purty lately? Three knockout maternity dresses in a row – wow! I like the solid black on her, it is very hip. Yeah, I said hip. David was just dying to stick it to Tad. Since he couldn’t explicitly brag, he had to implicitly brag, which he realized wasn’t quite as fun, so he had to pretend that the fact that he couldn’t say what he was bragging about was really half the fun! Did you get all that? I like how Zach can be very sweet and polite and helpful and accommodating until someone stands in the way of him protecting “the woman I love” and then all bets are OFF. Poor Dixie was like, uh, maybe I should get out of here. Or maybe, uh, you should just tell the truth. I’m not sure why, at this point, Dixie is keeping the Kate secret from Di and Zach. Except, of course, for the obvious – which is that she really doesn’t want us to know. Gotta keep the viewers in suspense somehow. We now know that Madden took the baby away somewhere. I sorta got the vibe that Dixie didn’t tell the family she was alive because she was ashamed of something, or thought they wouldn’t understand. Is that her rationale with Di and Zach? My speculation is that like with Kendall, Madden had Dixie so mentally turned around that she initially willingly gave her baby up – then realized later the error of her ways. She doesn’t go to her family for help because she fears their condemnation. Squee! Robert Scorpio will be back on General Hospital on April 13th. And I will be getting no sleep, since I barely have time for AMC as it is. Thanks for reading. Cheers!
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