Sept 11, 2006

I always write notes when I’m watching the shows, so I don’t forget something that I want to comment on, especially the stuff that happens earlier in the week. Usually when I have large gaps in my notes it is because I am so riveted by what’s going on that I forget to write anything down. Or…it’s because I’m so appalled by what I’m seeing that I don’t want to set the notebook aflame with my fury.

It seems like a lot lately the large gaps for GH are because I’m enjoying it so much, and the large gaps for AMC is because it is so farking stupid. This is really causing me a lot of stress. In terms of overall investment in the shows over the course of my life, GH should come first, OLTL second and AMC last of all. So it should fit that GH is doing so well while AMC is sucking badly. Unfortunately that is not so.

OLTL hasn’t even been on my radar the past couple of weeks. Life has gotten in the way of me being able to watch it. I barely have time to watch the occasional Todd and Evangeline scenes. Otherwise, despite my affection for a large number of the characters, I just can’t bring myself to care what’s going on with most of the storylines. You’d think that I would feel that way about AMC, that I would just let it go and free up some extra time to do other things. I can’t. I’m too invested. It is ALL Zach Slater’s fault.

First and foremost I keep watching the show because I can’t get enough of him. Even when I don’t understand what he’s doing, he draws me in so completely. As long as he is on the show, I will continue to tune in. But it’s about more than that. Because I love Zach so much, I began writing more. Because I was writing more, I found the confidence to submit a column for Eye On Soaps. Because I love Zach, I began making more and more friends over the internet and desired to see these friends and meet Thorsten Kaye. Then I found myself wanting to meet other castmembers of AMC. So now I have been writing tons of fanfic, churning out a weekly column that is [supposed to be] primarily about AMC, meeting the actors who play all these characters. This is what I mean by invested.

Let’s take the character of Josh, for instance. He’s taken a lot of twists and turns over the past year, including some very twisted turns, but after many bumps I’m starting to like his character. I met Colin Egglesfield a few weeks ago and genuinely liked him. He seems like such a nice guy. Cut to this week when we see Josh constructing a coffin in his hotel room and he tells Babe that he wants her to nail him in it. Unfortunately he wasn’t talking about kinky sex. He wanted to be entombed. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Make a joke about why he couldn’t have bought a pine box instead of making one? Did he go to Home Depot and ask them if they had one and they challenged his manhood if he didn’t make it himself? Does Home Depot have a handy dandy coffin construction kit? The whole thing was completely ridiculous. An utterly half-assed attempt to create a dramatic moment that will draw Babe and Josh closer and show off his nice pecs. I’m sure television sets across America were switching off as Babe tearfully struck hammer to nail. But my television set didn’t turn off. Why? Because I’m invested.

It’s just so depressing. I find myself ranting about the same things week after week. How many times can I whine over the awfulness of the sweet 16 storyline? How many different ways can I try and massage Tad’s behavior so that it makes some sort of sense? I can’t even bring myself to comment on the Zach/Kendall/Dixie/Ryan stuff. I try to concentrate on the acting. Tad’s woebegone expression as he breaks Kendall and Jamie’s hearts when they demand the truth and he supposedly gives it to them. Kendall’s increasing exhaustion and stress as she tries to deal with all her conflicting emotions. Colby explaining to her brother why she really wants her party to go well. And on some level I am enjoying the acting. These people are really trying to sell their storylines. Unfortunately, even those scenes make me angry. Everything contradicts everything and nothing makes sense.

Tad is so sad and frustrated because he’s being forced to share with everyone what he unintentionally witnessed. Assuming for a moment that he really did do and see what he claims, instead of lying for some unknown purpose, it still doesn’t make sense. Krystal jokes with him that the killer should get a ticker tape parade and suddenly he has a eureka moment. After that he starts acting pissy and telling everyone who will listen that Zach and Dixie are murderers. Then when he mouths off to Zach and Derek comes in, suddenly he’s the Reluctant Witness. What the hell is going on? There has to be some sort of other agenda going on. But then he is so convincing as he repeats his supposed sightings with such sincere regret. Is this an academy award performance? Or the truth? Either way, his behavior is puzzling and appalling and despite Michael E. Knight’s wonderful portrayal, I find myself just wanting to put my fist through the TV. TPTP might think that’s peachy keen because all they care about is getting an emotional reaction. Anger is fine for certain scenarios, but not all the damn time.

Kendall’s behavior, while portrayed beautifully by Alicia Minshew…it’s just breaking my heart. And not in a good way. My emotions about the stuff going on with Zach and Kendall are so visceral that I have a hard time expressing it. She believes Tad over Zach? How the hell am I supposed to deal with that? I can tell myself that there’s some vital secret that Zach’s keeping that explains his off-the-wall behavior, but it’s hard to spin why Kendall would believe a “bitter old queen” over the man she loves. And I want to – for my love of Kendall, I really do. Post-partum depression? I can’t even go into the other stuff that went on this week with Zach and Dixie and Ryan or my head will fly off my body and crash-land into the nearest volcano.

Colby gave a very heartfelt speech to JR about her motives, and for the first time since she appeared on the show I felt for her. Unfortunately there’s just too much whiplash going on there. How am I supposed to buy that this is how she really feels when it is sandwiched between all the tremendously unfunny screeching and self-absorption and excessiveness? I get that she wants to fit in and I get that Adam wants to make up for having missed out on so much. But how am I supposed to take her seriously when she wants a Hunk Brigade or whatever the hell she called it, or take Adam seriously when he rewards her snotty behavior by arranging for Jesse McCartney?

Even the little things get on my nerves. I have a great appreciation for the absurd. Usually I can chuckle over something as dorky as Lily finding a friend through a site called Friend-O-Rama. I just don’t think the tongue-in-cheek nature of it was appropriate in this situation. Lily is being taken in by an internet stalker – a frighteningly real common occurrence. Not quite the occasion for wink-wink. Or maybe that wasn’t meant as a joke and someone really thought that title was brilliant.

Geez, I feel like I’m getting sucked into a tar pit of negativity. I need to perform a classic EOS exercise and think of ten things off the top of my head that I like about AMC right now.

Okay, I’m pretty strung out at this point, so I will address GH in bites:

Thanks for reading.  Cheers! 

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