Oct 17, 2006

Sorry the column is late this week.  For the past month I’ve been involved in a writing contest on-line where the bulk of our writing efforts happen on the weekend.  That, coupled with trying to write up the previous “fan”tastic weekend makes for a busy Emeraldax. 

The scenes with David and Dixie at the beginning of the week showcase perfectly why these two do not work at all.  When I first started watching AMC in summer 2001 it was after Libidozone and after their hookups, so I never got to see their supposed spark.  All I saw was this guy who seemed clever and nefarious most of the time, but whenever he was around Dixie he transformed into something else that was not at all attractive.  He just seemed so pathetic.  Kitty-whipped.  I was so turned off by his mooning over Dixie, that when he started sparking with Anna, I was initially horrified.   

I didn’t like Dixie calling him names like an owner that swats his dog with a rolled-up newspaper.  I didn’t like her cajoling him to tell her what she wanted.  I didn’t like him taunting her about knowing where her missing child is.  I didn’t like him caving to her and once again try to convince her he’s her hero.  I tend to not like anything about their scenes together.  The only scene of theirs I ever liked was when they were in Scarsdale and they were being real with each other and he kissed her (that was pretty hot).  Let me repeat that – they were being real with each other.  Every other time it is just the same tired dialogue that wasn’t interesting the first time. 

I did like one part of the Monday scenes – when Dixie dramatically encouraged David to stab her or choke her.  It was a nice break from all the nattering, and it was just so soapy. 

Speaking of Dixie being soapy, I really enjoyed her whacked out behavior later in the week as she caused a scene at BJ’s and then did an encore at the Miranda Center.  Dixie is so bland that I find it pretty entertaining when she “acts out.”  Whether it’s telling Kendal straight out that she’d snatch up her husband if given the chance, macking on Zach, or flipping out when Emma misdialed her number, crazy Dixie is watchable Dixie.  I’m not saying it makes me like her, it’s just good for a giggle. 

Fluffy observation:  Dixie has looked a lot like Jodie Foster this past week.  I don’t like Jodie Foster.  I’m in the minority on this, but I liked her crazy hair from a couple of months ago.     

David did show some life in him this week, but amusingly enough it was when he was sparring with Ryan.  I love it when he points out the flaws in people’s logic, “She can't be Kate, because I'm a jerk,”  and forces them to look in the mirror, like when he referred to Ryan’s abusive behavior towards Greenlee.  David never minces words, and his sarcastic wit is always a pleasure.  

Okay, I get that it would be chivalrous of Josh to not immediately blab his real alibi in the face of statutory rape charges, but I can’t help but be skeeved out by the vocabulary used by Babe and Krystal to discuss the possibility that he might not.  “He would never -- never sell me out like that.”  “You know as well as I do some men can be snakes.”  Excuse me?  A statutory rape charge is serious business.  A man’s life can be ruined.  If he told the truth in order to avoid the charges, maybe it wouldn’t be self-sacrificial, but I think calling him a snake is pretty bitchy. 

One thing about Colby, she’s very unabashed in her lack of moral turpitude.  Sydney is really the more dangerous one.  She acts like the goody two shoes underdog, garnering the sympathy of all the adults.  Krystal and Babe begged her to help them tank Colby’s rape charges.  She flat-out lied to them.  Why?  Because she wanted to score points with Sean.  What is the appeal of this boy?  Sydney knows very well that he boinked Colby and then blew her off.  She was witness to his indifference over the possibility that Colby might be dead.  She listened to Colby’s after-school special speech about how Sean just really wasn’t that good in the sack.  Sydney is willing to let a man go to prison for this dubious prize? 

There was only one time this week that I liked Sydney.  When Colby accused her of wanting her life, Sydney sarcastically denied it, listing out how “great” her life was in comparison.  I thought that was pretty good snark, but it doesn’t make up for her skewed priorities.   

We had some great family stuff this week.  Loved the Kane sibling reunion to bits.  Josh was amazed at Bianca’s ability to shut down Kendall.  She told him it was because of their love for each other.  It made me fondly remember when they finally bonded as sisters.  It was a beautiful thing.

Believe it or not, I also liked the Chandler scenes.  Adam reclaimed some of his nastiness by speculating that his daughter might be lying about Josh raping her, then winking that it works to JR’s advantage.  JR turned around and tried to draw Colby out by pretending to thank her for trying to blow Josh’s life up.  How messed up is it that I’m okay with toxicity if it has entertainment value?  “Since when do we hug?”  It reminded me of why I used to like JR, and how I wish the writers hadn’t trashed his character for good. 

WTF moment:  JR brought up Josh’s deflowering of Danielle.  How the heck did he know about that? 

The best family moment of the week was the utterly delicious Cambias confrontation at the end of the week.  We seriously need to have Zach hallucinate his father on a regular basis.  I love, love, love Alex Senior.  Kudos to William de Vry for getting a regular gig over at the Bold and the Beautiful, but it sadly means that we are now very unlikely to get visits from Michael’s ghost.  It’s pretty twisted of me to enjoy Zach’s pain and torment, but he just does it so well.

Thanks for reading.  Cheers! 

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