November 26, 2005  

When Derek was quizzing people about who shot at Jonathan, I was once again reminded of the Michael Cambias storyline – a growing number of suspects who band together to thwart the police.  We got our first Zaidan banter!  Works for me – I have a little crush on Aidan since I got to meet the Aiden behind the Aidan.  He was such a nice bloke. I was glad that Zach chose the peanut candy – always go with the nuts.  Hey, I’m being serious.  No pun intended.  Really!  Zach was clearly having a good time – he’s been a suspect so many times, its old hat.  “I only have one look.  Ask anybody.” 

Okay, I hope I don’t upset any fellow Zach fans.  I love him.  Heaven help me, I love him.  But damned if I didn’t laugh for several minutes when Jonathan was up on the judge’s bench (y’know, cause he’s the voice of reason), and he said, “Even Mr. Slater, and he’s no one’s friend or family.”  That was so freaking hilarious.  I’m not sure why I thought it was funny - it wasn’t even really true.  Kendall is Zach’s wife, so of course he has a right to be pissed right along with the rest of them.  But still, oh man was that funny. 

“And if there was a dollar in the corner, you'd get up and sprint there in a second.”  JR has become my favorite snarkster.  And I love when he’s picking on Amanda.  Of course, she gives it back sometimes.  “I wouldn’t touch Babe with three pairs of gloves and a bucket of bleach.”  Almost better than any sarcastic line was the sight of Jamie walking up in his “scrub chic” ensemble.  The lab coat is gone, at least.  But all snarking aside, the expression on Babe’s face when JR was doting over her and insisting she stay at the mansion - that was not an act.  She was melting.  Oh yes, melting as fast as an M&M (peanut of course) in your mouth. 

Lord have mercy, I had tears streaming down my face from watching JR’s reaction to seeing Babe and Adam in bed together, then his line, “I didn't realize my father was going to mount her.”  I think that was worth the price of seeing Jonathan pimped for most of the rest of the episode.  At least JR didn’t buy into Jonathan’s holiness.  JR’s lunatic radar is well tuned. 

What is the deal with Josh?  I’m assuming from his convo with his dad after looking at Kendall’s file, that he knows what happened with the inferti-plantation.  So why was he jerking Greenlee around?  The whole thing was so stupid.  He didn’t act like he was torn or conflicted about revealing his dad’s secret to Greenlee.  He looked like he was playing cat and mouse.  What happened to the aw shucks fella?  I will admit to one thing.  I did squee when I saw “Slater, Kendall” on the file. 

Loved the hilarious scenes with David and Erica visiting Kendall and Greenlee.  Erica says, “I’ve come to look after you,” and David responds, “God help you both.”  Hee!  And she holds up some dresses so that the girls don’t have to go home in smocks.  She is having a lot of fun playing mommy to Kendall and Greenlee.  I think, however, that they’ve all forgotten what season it is.  (pssst, it’s autumn)  But, meh, that’s an old rant.  These ladies will always wear the skimpiest clothes and get away with it by just throwing on a kicky leather jacket.  Or maybe Erica stays warm because of the heat generated by that giant amulet to the sun god Ra. 

Not sure how to get a handle on Erica (or why I would undertake such a task).  I thought for sure she was on board with Zach after the notmemorial.  She seemed to believe him when he clearly showed he wanted to protect Kendall (she only mildly protested when he wanted to take her home).  Since Erica is all about protecting Kendall, I figured that would put him in her plus column, for the time being.  Her reaction when Kendall announced her impending divorce seemed to bear that out.  May I just say here that Susan does a great job as straight man.  The way she acts so cool when someone says or does something ridiculous, like she expects everyone around her to be lunatics and so she just behaves naturally.  When Kendall made the desperate statement that Zach eats large quantities of raw garlic, she just smoothly commented that it wouldn’t be a problem unless they were kissing.  Perfect.  Anyway, back to what I was saying.  When Erica saw Zach on Wednesday, I was hoping that she would try to pick Zach’s brain, get a bead on what he feels about Kendall.  Instead she decided to taunt him.  Sigh, I guess it was too good to be true.  

What was also too good to be true was Greenlee’s special wuv for Kendall.  Let me prelude this rant with a bit of background.  When I started watching the soaps again four and a half years ago, I fell in love with two “vixens.”  Skye on General Hospital, and Kendall on All My Children.  Now, I’ve liked other ladies on these shows.  I liked Carly for awhile.  I liked Greenlee.  These four characters have a lot in common – they are all women who have been emotionally damaged and love to take that damage out on everyone around them.  They all come up with stupid plaaaaaaans, and they always get their butts burned.  But when it came to Skye and Kendall, if anyone else crapped on them, and that included any other characters I liked, such as Carly or Greenlee - woe to those other characters.  They were messing with my girls.  But lets focus on Kendall and Greenlee.  There have been times when I have loved Greenlee – she gives good snark, she gives good doe eyes.  Rebecca Budig has done an amazing job with her.  But any time Greenlee has messed with Kendall, I have hated every fiber of her little being.  Usually because she has done such a spectacular job of ripping Kendall to shreds.  She wasn’t exactly like a little gnat buzzing in Kendall’s face.  More like a freight train.  And now it looks as if RB is going to leave with Greenlee chugging on that locomotive once more.   

It’s a testament to Rebecca’s acting ability that I both loathed and felt sorry for Greenlee at the same time on Wednesday.  Her grief was palpable, her deep pain at what she thought (so stupidly!) was her friend’s betrayal coupled with the realization that her dream was finally shot to hell (not really, but as I said – stupid!).  She practically hung onto David for support as she mounted her biggest and final public lynching – because that is what she does best.  Except this time she wasn’t just content to storm into an event that had nothing to do with her and make it all about her as she dropped her bomb.  No, this time she decided to play director.  She actually made sure a few extra relevant people got invited.  She even told them where to sit.  All with this dead expression in her eyes.  David, David.  You should have seen the look and known what was coming.  You should have tossed her over your shoulder.  Taken her away from it all.  Back to your cabin and shagged her till she forgot her name or even what year it was.  Ummm…where was I?  Oh, Thanksgiving.  The carving of the “turkey.”  Yeah, on Monday, Greenlee will be wielding the knife, and most everyone will be taking a bite.  Not looking forward to it. 

Umm…what was there good to say about Wednesday?  Zily!!  Always love Zily.  Loved Reggie’s comment, “Our family doesn’t do too well with lists.”  The depressing but true observation by Zach:  “Well, first time I ever shared thanksgiving dinner with a dead guy who impregnated my wife.” 

 Okay, I admit that the Chandler scenes were great – except Amanda, her theatrics were a snore.  The only good part of those scenes was when Tad tried to question her.  “So what's all this I hear about you and Jamie and drugs and groggily-ever-after?”  Sigh.  I suppose I’m vaguely interested in the fallout from everyone watching the Di stripping tape.  But the whole Kendall lynching thing…sorry, just too depressed.   

I couldn’t help but be disgusted over the fact that the rerun of AMC played during the holiday was of Ryan and Greenlee’s wedding.  I didn’t watch it for the second time – I was rearranging my sock drawer.  As mentioned ad nauseum in a prior paragraph, I loathe anyone who messes with my girl Kendall, and that includes the writers crapping all over the character.  Her behavior had me cringing.  She should have booted Ryan’s arse out the door when he didn’t give Greenlee the finger after she put a fricking camera in Kendall’s fricking shower.  I wanted the Ryan and Kendall coupling to happen again so badly, that I tried to ignore blow after blow of Ryan refusing to climb out of Greenlee’s pocket long enough to provide Kendall the support she needed for her freaking murder trial.  His and Greenlee’s behavior had the effect of shoving my love for Rendall into a coffin still kicking and screaming, and nailing the lid shut, then pouring acid on top of the box and putting it in a car cruncher or whatever you call those things.  The wedding was just the writers’ way of taking the remains and shoveling it onto a big pile of dog crap and packing it down nice and firm.  I won’t even go into how they treated Kendall after the wedding, because my metaphors have started to stink as badly as that storyline did.  But my friend Andrea did make an interesting point.  She decided that TPTB ran the Rylee wedding because they wanted to remind viewers just how badly Ryan crapped all over Kendall, and that it would be a total slap in the face to any Kendall fan if she got back together with him.  So you see, looking at it from that perspective, the replaying of the Rylee wedding was, in fact, all about pimping Zen.  You spin me right round, baby, right round…. 

Because it was a short week, I fit time in to watch Tuesday and Wednesday’s episodes of OLTL and GH.  

I’ve decided that Natalie Vega is the luckiest damn woman on the face of the soap earth.  Lord have mercy are John and Christian hot like fire.  I’ve always thought Christian was a cute boy, but since he grew out his hair - he is definitely a man now.  Whew.  So Natalie has two hot men panting for her, but that’s not all!  We also have notbrother Rex whose shoulder she can cry on any time she wants.  And then there is John’s brother, Michael, who is a big ole teddy bear and also quite attentive.  As I said:  Luckiest.  damn.  woman.  *adopting Mango voice* Oh, to be Natalie! 

So, I’ve been keeping up with the storylines through the mags and EOS, but one thing I haven’t noticed mentioned, and I’m wondering about:  Is it supposed to be obvious that Spencer was the one who offed Margaret?  Or am I being too arrogant in my speculation and it isn’t Spencer at all?  Cause it seems obvious.   He was blathering on about revenge and how he was going to have Blair…oh yes…she will be his….whatever.   

Niki is back!  Because apparently the fans didn’t scream themselves hoarse enough last time that they wanted her to never ever ever come back.  Before I stopped watching last spring, I got to see bits of Tess as she was rearing her head - Tess on the make out at the bars.  This Tess, who wanted to be free and was lamenting her pregnancy as she longed for a drink, was a bit more interesting.  I wonder how the storyline will be resolved since it is clear that people like Tess a lot more than Jess.  And Nash a lot more than Antonio. 

Erm, the only thing good I can say about GH is that the Jason/Sam/Robin storyline is fairly interesting.  Kelly Monaco does such a great job with these types of storylines.  I liked how the two episodes ended – Tuesday’s with the code blue, and Wednesday’s with the kiss.  The way it segued from the scene to the “Stay tuned...” hook was very dramatic.  I did have to puke, though, at the preview for Monday, when Sonny was getting all judgmental on Robin – saying she could have pulled away or some crap like that.  I shouldn’t be surprised – he loves to jump to conclusions about people that have betrayed him in the past and haven’t kissed his arse with enough enthusiasm to make up for it.

Thanks for reading.  Cheers!