December 12, 2006

I have not even a page and a half of notes for the entire week of All My Children.  This was usually because I was so bored out of my mind that my brain seized up.  Or so angry over the same crap, different day, that I was too busy throwing my pen at the TV.  But sometimes it was because I was so riveted that my pen was completely forgotten.   

Simone Torres died this week.  I remember when she first came on.  She was an investigative reporter that hooked up with Mateo to find out the identity of Proteus.  I was enchanted with her from that very first moment.  I spent the next four years really pleased and actually surprised that she continued to stay on the show, while at the same time really annoyed that she wasn’t given better storylines.  There were some shining moments – like her relationship with Tad.  The flashback they played of him putting the whip cream on her mouth was so apropos.   

I liked how her death played out, and the aftermath.  The other Fusion ladies mourning her and celebrating her.  Kendall stricken with fear that she might have taken her friend for granted.  Dani sharing with Josh about how she wanted to be just like Simone.  “She was a total star.” Once again I was impressed by Connie Fletcher’s performance.  Erin was the one who knew Simone the least amount of time, and she was the one who fell apart the most - but it made sense for a young woman that has had no stability in her life.  Then there was Tad sharing his remembrances with Zach, and his final goodbye to her.  I loved that Jamie knew to call him.  I also loved Zach wanting to do right by her, saddened that the woman his son loved was now gone, too.   

This is probably a wildly unpopular opinion, and you’ll just have to blame it on Prince - but I like Zarf.  Whenever he is on the screen I can’t look away, and I don’t mean that in a train wreck sort of way.  I’m not saying he’s like Prince.  There is someone specific he reminds me of and I haven’t yet been able to put my finger on who it is.  No, I compare him to Prince because he affects me in a similar way.  [climbs into Wayback Machine]  Do you remember the music video for When Doves Cry?  I will never forget it.  The song and the images are permanently emblazoned on my brain.  I didn’t find Prince attractive, not in the traditional sense.  But I couldn’t take my eyes off him.  I couldn’t help but feel a thrill.  A thrill I couldn’t understand then, and still don’t.  It’s the same way with Zarf.  The audaciousness.  The differentness.  The intensity.  Zarf also has something extra going for him.  I find myself feeling compassion for him.  He was like the wizard in the Wizard of Oz – trying his damndest to seem larger than life and intimidating and downright obnoxious.  In reality the wizard was this unassuming little man.  It was all a façade, and when Dorothy Bianca swept aside the curtain, we got to see the vulnerability underneath.  I’m a spoiler whore, so I know what the punchline is going to be.  I know the meaning behind the cryptic behavior.  So far the way it is playing out works – at least for me.  As long as the actors keep up their excellent performances and the writing stays consistent (she said with a straight face), this might actually be a good storyline. 

I am sick to freaking death of Babe and Josh.  Josh decides to do the right thing and let Babe go.  But not before he breaks into her room and leaves her a scrapbook filled with pictures of her child with another man, then sighs longingly over her robe.  Krystal discovers him, but can’t stay mad at him because he’s so gosh darn cute and sincere.  Ditto Babe when she comes in, fresh off the lecture from Bianca about cutting Josh loose if she’s serious about JR.  Yeah, great job of cutting him loose.  She does tell him that it’s over between them (this time she really, really means it!), but not before she gushes over the baby book and tells him she loves him a few dozen times.  Skreem!  Truer words were never spoken by Josh:  “God, we have done this so many times, Babe, my brain is hurting.” 

Notice that when I was talking about the Fusion women mourning Simone, I didn’t include Babe in that group.  I think this was an instance of the writers blowing it.  I could have bought into Babe saddened by Simone’s death, but the way it played out fell completely flat.  She went to visit JR, blurts out that Simone is dead, then proceeds to whine endlessly about her love for JR and how she would have felt if he had died.  Then later at the Chandler mansion, every time she brought up Simone it just seemed like she was playing the sympathy card.  There was just a complete lack of sincerity there – which was surprising since the writers love to cram down our throat how completely sincere Babe is.   

JR is being an even bigger whiny bitch than his wife, but I’m sick of whining and bitching about that, so moving right along…   

Part of me wishes that Jackson would try a little harder to fight for his wife, but considering the fact that she isn’t trying all that hard to fight for him, I’m just done with them both.  I brought this on myself, really.  When Jeff came back to the show and I found him charming, I started thinking a triangle would be fun.  Fun!  What disease has plagued my mind?  I’ve always hated triangles!  When did I forget that in triangles at least two, if not all three, of the participants ends up looking really bad?  Sure enough, they’re all a bunch of..of..poopyheads!  When Jeff came in with lunch for two, I was totally with Sean in his disgust and desire to thwart their cozy little meal.  

Dixie’s been doing some more of her bat-shit crazy stuff lately with her obsession over Krystal’s baby.  I love how freaked out Krystal is by this woman and her ability to topple her house of cards at any moment.  Just like when Babe was trying hard to keep her secret about sleeping with Josh by pretending to be shocked and appalled by all the accusations, Krystal is doing the same thing.  Lots of righteous indignation when she is anything but.  I loved it when Dixie asked her, “Do you know or did you just decide?”   

Bobbie Eakes is a beautiful woman, but I absolutely, positively, without a doubt, there is no budging on this folks, HATE the hair!  Krystal is not Farrah frickin Fawcett. 

I’ll never forget on GH when a gaggle of youngsters invaded Wyndemere and tried to transform it with their warm fuzzies.  A similar thing is happening to Wildwind, but I like all the constituents this time.  Bring it on!  On a similar note, Ryan and Annie are so adorable when they are flirting with each other that I may develop diabetes. 

Dream On Moment of the Week:  Julia telling the Chandler men that they need to stay relaxed and calm.  HAHAHAHAHA! 

WTF Moment of the Week:  There is a lot that Colby needs to apologize for, but despising her sister-in-law should not be one of them.  Seriously, what was she apologizing for?  Being rude?  Packing up Babe’s things? Melodramatic behavior is par for the course at Casa Chandler, so I can’t believe that was it.  Oh, I know the reason:  it was Colby’s turn to prostrate herself before The Madonna Babe.   

Eyes Popping Out of My Head and Rolling Around on the Floor Moment of the Week:  Sean dipping Erica and planting a kiss on her.  That was so awesome and nasty at the same time.  Apparently the desire to sweep Erica off her feet is a genetic trait of the Montgomery men. 

Thanks for reading.  Cheers! 

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