Daytime Diva:

The View From the
Recliner's Edge

By Belinda Ache



July 25, 2007


Hello, hello, hello… ABC soap fans! Allow me to introduce myself. I’m the Daytime Diva: Belinda. Since this is my first column for Eye on Soaps (and I am as excited as a virgin on prom night I assure you!) I wanted to tell you a little about myself. I’m a 50 year old mother of 4, grandmother to 9~ going on 11~ who has been married to the same man for 30 years this August. I’m a 42 year fan of General Hospital and have watched One Life to Live and All My Children off and on since they began. (OLTL mostly on and AMC mostly off). I began my online commentary of GH on the Old Soapnet Message Board circa 2002 where I was then and still am known as ghfansince1966. I started writing a column three years ago this month and last year originated The Nurses’ Lounge for TV Fan Online. (Big smooches to my peeps at TFO: I love you all very much!)


If there is one thing I can confidently say to you about myself it is that I love my soaps. Although I have of late been predominantly a GH fan, I am excited to be commenting on OLTL and AMC in this venue as well. I have, in the past, occasionally written about OLTL but have never before taken a stab at AMC. I expect, as is true with my General Hospital commentary, I will not speak for everyone with my opinions and fully expect to piss some of you off with appalling frequency. That is not my goal, but it does happen. I invite any reader who wishes to do so to contact me, whether you agree, disagree or wish to “straighten” me out. I welcome your input and will try to be respectful to those with whom I disagree. Now, lets get down to it!


All My Children


I literally began watching AMC again this April after I had the good fortune to meet Chrishell Straus (Amanda) and Jeff Branson (Jonathan) at a charity event in St. Louis. They were both so gracious and personable, such genuinely good people, that I started tuning in to watch their work. This puts me in the unenviable position of being a new viewer. As such, I wish to acknowledge that I may require some guidance, history or enlightenment about the characters along the way. Feel free to let me have it.


Way back when, when I use to watch AMC before; I loved Tad the Cad and could not stand Erica. I am finding that those things are still true. I enjoy Tad talking to JR and Krystal in the bar and to Adam. I’m not sure how Tad is the father to all of Adam’s children but I’m sure I will figure that out sooner or later. I’ve already determined that Krystal’s baby is the result of an affair with Tad while she was married to Adam. Colby, I can safely assume is the daughter of Liza (what happened to her anyway?) and Dixie is JR’s mother, right? So, is Tad father to all of them or not?


I’ve been skulking around some AMC message boards and have discovered that Krystal and Babe (who I have christened the trailer park girls) are not well liked, which figures because I took an immediate liking to both of them. (Be gentle with me, it’s my first time)


So far about the only opinions I have formed is that Amanda and JR make a good looking couple, Jonathan is boffing a serial tramp who seems to be on a self destructive roller coaster ride from hell and who looks like his mentally challenged ex-wife and it is not going well. Erica has not changed much in the last 20 years.  She is still marrying and divorcing at an alarming rate and expecting the world to bend over and kiss her ass on command. Kendall is fighting for her unborn child’s life (by the way; I had a grandson born at 24 weeks who is 3 years old this week.  How’s that for a coincidence?) and apparently her best friend/coworker wanted to kidnap her son, changed her mind and then ran off a cliff. I’m thinking I may like Kendall when all is said and done but I am not sure about her man. Something about him skeezes me out, I just haven’t figured out what it is. Oh!  I was really tickled to see Doc Martin tending to Kendall! What a nice surprise to see another familiar face from back in the day when I watched AMC the first time!


Hey, I know there will be much more to say as I get more in to the show. It’s just that right now, it’s all kind of a jumble to me. Like what is Wildwood and why are all those odd, unrelated people living there together? Things that make me go: huh?


One Life to Live


Okay, now, I am more comfortable about this show!


I really like Layla and Vincent. At first I was not a Layla fan.  She was sniffing after all the wrong men and just generally coming off as a potential snatch. Goodness knows Tessica had that market covered, smothered and layered, though, so I’m glad to see these two settling in for a relationship.


Who misses Evangeline? I miss Vangie! I so hope that the rumors I hear of a recast are TPTB’s way of playing hardball during negotiations and not a fact! It's freaky enough hearing the rumblings about it; I’d really hate to have to face it. Just when I was coming around to Cristian and Vange… bam… contract negotiations coma. Hopefully she will survive it like Nora did; although one has to wonder what it is exactly Nora came back for? Let’s hope there is something more in store for the feisty attorney in the months to come.


It is good to see more of Lindsay. It’s still not enough, but it is good nonetheless. Weren’t she and Dorian forging some kind of friendship? That would be pretty cool. There are never enough platonic friendships on soaps and seriously, how can they perpetuate so much drama with out best friends? It makes no sense whatsoever! Speaking about Dorian… sigh… what is the matter with TPTB that they are not keeping Tuc Watkins on as David Vickers? He and Dorian were the best couple on the show and they ruined that for the Spencer fiasco? Nasty business and yet one more senseless decision as far as I am concerned.


So, they couldn’t just have Viki and Clint fall back in love with each other—why? I could have gotten in to some “love is better the second time around” romancing. As much as I love Viki, Dorian and Clint, this triangle is so lame it’s painful. Dorian is twisting herself into origami shapes to be “good enough” for Clint when she has always been such an unapologetic bitch before this that it’s jarring to behold. She should be seducing one of her other friend's twenty-something year old sons and dancing the hoochy-coo on the bar at Roadies, not contorting herself to “catch” a man. Blech!


Tess and Nash were hot. Jess fighting her feelings for Nash was hot. Nash’s unrequited love for Jess and pain of loosing Tess was hot. Jess and Nash cuckolding Antonio was NOT HOT. I don’t know about you, but a near death experience and some jaundice are not going to have me forgiving spoiled little Miss I-want-my-cake-and-eat-it-too. Nash I can ALMOST forgive. He fell in love with some one who didn’t exist (been there!) and had to sit back and watch his daughter in a family situation without him in the middle of it. His pain was palpable, but the whole thing was way dirty and not in that chick-a bow, chick-a bow wow way either. He took a job for the man whose wife he was either bagging or hoping to bag. The man trusted him, trusted them, made excuses for them. It was cold and it was ugly. I hate triangles! They are very rarely sexy or romantic and I fail to see why soaps can’t figure out how to write some other kind of drama for their couples. The best thing that came out of this one is it softened Antonio’s rough edges. He was so abrasive and so doom and gloom that I disliked him for a very long time. Not now, though.  Now I like him very much.


What else can I say? I don’t completely hate this Marty. I might even be up for Marty and John, although I find McBain to be a thoroughly unlikable character. I might like John if he were to fall for Nora, or Lindsay: someone who could knock some of the wind out of his sails. I hated Natalie with John, but then again I really haven’t seen a Natalie pairing that I did enjoy. Her first boyfriend, the one who came to town with her, was the best match so far, in my opinion. Of course, that could have been because as hurt and demented as she may have been at that time, she was a strong, independent female and not some mewling, clinging, weeping parasitic growth. Weak women are such a turn off, seriously.


The teens have not been totally lacking. I adore Langston and that cheerleader bitch is classic. Starr is really coming into her own and if she can overcome having THE MOST over used, played out, disgustingly dysfunctional couple on the show as parents, I might even like her. Cole is slightly impossible to see turning these girls heads, though. I mean he is cute but in a very plain, boy next door way. Most of the teen boys who sent us into a clawing frenzy as teenagers ourselves were just… flashier than these boys seem to be. Cole reminds me of the really sweet boy that sits behind you in English and asks you out every time he hears you broke up with the complete HOTTIE who plays you like a harp. You know, the one you never give the time of day to but are nice to… if you are lucky, because when you meet up with him at one of the upcoming reunions, you are going to wish you knew then what you know now… Good thing they aren’t targeting the summer teen storylines to me, isn’t it?


Miles could be okay as an ongoing adversary. I hear he “breaks up” with phantom Spencer and it can’t happen a second too soon. Tate, of course, is out of there as soon as he wreaks a little more racial hatred havoc. I wish I liked Adriana. I just DON’T. She is certainly not what I want for Rex, with whom I am in love. He was way hotter with Lindsay than he has been with anyone else since they broke them up. I don’t see any chemistry between him and Sarah. She doesn’t spark with Cristian either. I don’t have a problem with this Sarah, but so far I can’t see where she will fit in.


I like Marcie and Michael and look forward to the baby drama I hear is going to bring out the mama and papa bear in them as well as with Todd. It is acutely obvious that Todd is the last person on earth who should have that child. I mean did you see how he acted to Marcie and Tommy at Roadi's before he took off? The man has the parental instincts of an animal that eats its young. Of course, I hate Todd so there you have it. It makes me want to throw up to hear that there may be the 98,634th coupling of Blair and Todd. Just bring back Tia and put a stake through these two living dead; PLEASE?"


General Hospital


One of the reasons I wanted to reach outside of my comfort zone and do commentary on the other shows too is that I’ve begun to repeat myself. It's bad enough that TPTB can’t find an original concept. You all do not need to hear me recycling the same lame lines like Jason and Liz do about their “b-a-a-a-a-b-e-e-e”. My first thought about the show these days is how incredibly asinine it is that Jason has a revolving door at Pentonville through which traipses any one in Port Charles. Do they even take the man to his cell? It is blatant disrespect for the viewer’s intelligence to tell us he is being held without visitors and then take up 40 minutes a day watching him deal with visitors.


I realize that these are probably “canned scenes” filmed before Steve Burton went on vacation to sprinkle throughout his absence. That is usually the case when they have these isolated vignettes, but it is still annoying. I think SB looks great with long hair! He is growing it out for a part he will be filming (I hear) in addition to GH. I wonder if this character will be different or just Jason with another name like his role in that Robert Redford movie a few years back. M-e-e-o-w, I know! I can be so catty some times!


Man, I feel sorry for Lucky. He is going to hit the wall at about 200 MPH and when these puzzle pieces fall in to place he is going to feel more stupid than a box of rocks. I relish the story opportunities this brings for Greg Vaughan to spread his wings. Hopefully, he can get that Daytime Emmy nod this year that he was so unceremoniously ROBBED of last year. At least that would make me having to suffer throw these endless hours of torture-- enduring this WHO’S THE DADDY storyline—worthwhile. PLEASE can we just get it over with now?


Did you see Sam bitch slap Carly? Oh my goodness! That was the best thing I have seen in months. As I write this, I haven’t seen Carly’s reaction but I thoroughly enjoyed that one moment in time. Yeah, if you’re not familiar with my writing you may as well know I have been a proud charter member of the Carly Hater Club since Sarah Brown originated the role. I am not so staunch a member in the last six months or so, but it still did my old heart good to see her get the slap down. Good stuff.


Some of my constant readers who have been with me since my first gig (and I love all of you for following me and being so vocal and supportive) have been distraught or confused to read recently that even my long held Sonny hate has been softened. Since they medicated our friendly neighborhood mafia don, I have had the unique experience of having him grow on me. Furthermore (and to the shock of many), I like Kate Howard and his connection with Connie Falconerri but (you just knew there was a “but” in here someplace, didn’t you?) I feel they really copped out with the Viagra angle. I am forever grateful not to have had to endure yet another trip to the Island complete with unlimited tokens, a designer dress and piece of jewelry, but it could have been so much more satisfying done another way. They took the cheap shot instead of waiting and building and allowing the actors, characters and viewers to really LONG for consummation.


That’s one of the main problems with GH, soaps specifically and life in general these days, in my opinion: we are so immersed in instant gratification that we have lost appreciation for biding our time. They are rushing this Lulu and Logan pairing too and it is not an attractive proposition for me in the first place, so I do not like it at all. Maxie I love, but she has been a saving grace on GH for me for many months now. I love Tracy and Alan, I love seeing Monica and Edward and Big Alice trying to parent Lulu, but they are about several years too late, aren’t they? What do you think Alice does in the boathouse? What do you think “oopsie daisy” is? I like seeing Anna and Noah together even though the Eli Love storyline is about as believable as the Easter Bunny sun bathing on Catalina Island...nude. Robin and Patrick are okay (My oldest grandson is named Patrick Drake), even though I am not giving up my desire to see a Robin/Nik pairing.


Well, I’m going to call a stop to this first endeavor. You’ve been patient enough. I’ll touch on my abject hatred and scathing disgust of Jerry-Craig another time as well as my love of Alexis, Spinelli, Max, Mac, Milo, Robert and Ric and my girl crush on lawyer, Diane. I invite you to email me. I look forward to talking to my constant readers and getting to know new readers. That’s my view from the recliners edge for this week.


See ya!