Behind my desk at work I have a bulletin board – a very special bulletin board.  I use it to regain my sanity throughout the day by looking at it and meditating when things at work get hairy.  It’s got pictures of my hubby and son, pictures of friends and family too. There are handwritten scraps of paper with little philosophical quotes by everyone from Socrates to Madonna, and it’s also got some badass pictures of my EOS/GH buds! Now I work with a great group of guys – all very manly men too!  But I am the only chick in the office, so imagine my surprise when one of them asked who the guy in the picture with me was… and one of the other fellas said, “ That’s Lucky Spencer, dude!” 

I pounced on that little comment and asked him how the hell he knew Lucky Spencer – I mean, maybe someone recognizing Luke wouldn’t be such a big deal, but come on.  He mentioned that his wife’s a fan and if he wants to spend any time with her in the evenings he’d better get with the [SoapNet] program.   

I love a man who knows what’s what.

Anyway, we got to talking and I asked him if he’d help me out and give me his impressions on GH (Bruce is pretty straightforward, so I thought it’d be a hoot.)  Here’s how it went:

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KellyB:  I like the show and I am a fan, but I never forget that it is – just a show.  Tell me what you think - have fun with it. I don’t take myself too seriously and don’t feel like you have to answer in any particular way to satisfy the masses (ok, well maybe not masses!) mass singular would be more accurate.  

Bruce:  Let’s go! 

v     So Bruce, tell everyone out there in cyberspace how long you’ve been watching GH and how you got interested in it.  What story or character hooked you?

On and off since before Luke & Laura got hitched! 

v     So who would you say your favorite characters on the show are?

Sam, Courtney, and pretty much the rest of the females.

Somehow I knew you’d probably say that. 

v     OK and who’s the hottest chick on GH right now?

No doubt, Sam!

I said, ‘hottest chick’ – not bunny!! 

 Am I hott? Um, yeah!

v     Character(s) you miss – I miss Lucy Coe – she was both hot and funny, that doesn’t happen much in daytime.

Brenda, Brenda, Brenda!!!!!!!!

Gee, that’s a shocker, I’m sensing a trend.  

v     What about least favorite – we all have one or two that when they make an entrance onscreen, we decide it’s a good time for a pee break.

Alan; what a putz. 

No kidding, he’s been constipated for what, like a year now.   

v     Characters you wish would die : for me it’s Duh-Duh Diego

Tracy; whiny bitch! 

v     Biggest letdown

Brenda’s exit.

*sigh*     

v     Most wasted character

You’re really pushing my limits here. 

v     Who would win in a fistfight :

Sonny vs. Jax ( check your enforcer and .357 at the door) Who really cares? 

            Helena vs. Manny (they’re both evil bitches in my opinion) Helena for sure 

Big Alice vs. Tracy (it’d be like an ultimate fighting championship)

Big Alice, she’d kill Sonny and Jax too. 

v     Rank the Carlys 

Sarah Brown – Carly #1  2^nd                     

Tamara Braun – Carly #2  1^st                 

Jennifer Brandsford - #3  YUK!!!!!!!!!!!!      

Laura Wright - #4 YUK!                       

**Bonus points if you can name what # Lucas they’re currently on!

I wouldn’t want to take the chance on guessing right; I’d never live it down.

Good answer, I think it’s something like #226. 

v     For the last several years and with Tony Geary’s ever increasing vacation time, the show’s focus has revolved around Sonny and Jason and the PC mob.  How has that change impacted your enjoyment of the show – and is it so over at this point?  

Luke was great! The PC mob is NO Sopranos!!! Thank God they’re out of the tunnel!!! 

v     Along those lines, GH’s head writer’s (Pratt & Guza) penchant for portraying women as dependent, psychotic sex kittens is becoming not only a joke, but a serious bone of contention among female viewers.  Do you notice the dumbing down and sexing up of the characters?  Does it offend you as a husband or father to your daughter?

It’s a daytime soap opera isn’t it? Turn it off if it offends! 

v     With sweeps in full swing, what do you think of the semi-annual special effects blow-out?  The cave in – and just how dorky is it to travel with half the freakin’ town on a railcar when you’re on your honeymoon?  And can we talk about that animatronic freakling named ‘Molly’ – what the hell IS that?

The tunnel dragged on too long. They put the whole town on the train to figure out who’ll be sleeping with whom this winter. Molly is a great actress. Give her her due!

Uh Nik, next time just buy them a toaster oven – kay? 

Any parting shots?

Can they please go on location to Hawaii or somewhere, please!!!

Good luck with that – according to peeps who should know, ABC Daytime defines the word “cheap”.   

Thanks Bruce, it’s been a blast!

Thanks, Kelly. It was fun!

Tune in next time folks, when Kelly interviews her dog groomer and asks the really tough questions!! 

I crack myself up.
KellyB