GH Spoiler Commentary
Aug 20, 2006

My turn, my turn!  Ready – GO!!! 

Monday~August 21st  

Sam decides to stay after learning of Alexis' illness;

Time to get in good too, just in case the will’s already been changed to cut out the husband-banging, Mafioso-loving tart. 

Sam warns Ric to keep his distance;

I think three football fields is the standard. 

Ric feels guilty after realizing the truth about Alexis;

And thinks, “Why couldn’t you have told me before I left stains on our new wall-to-wall?” 

Patrick and Robin learn that April died suddenly;

Wait a minute, they rewrote history so that Laura wasn’t really raped and had a lab built under the hospital for 20 years that no one had a clue about so that Helena could defrost Stavros, but they can’t figure out a way to keep a (fanfave) AIDS patient alive??  Schmucks.

Maxie plans to fight for Lucky

What, is she going to get him hooked on Meth now?  Lucky the tweaker, yeah it flows with the lousy writing we’ve become accustomed to for Lucky. 

Tuesday~August 22nd  

Jason tries to comfort Sam as she deals with the gravity of Alexis' illness;

Funny, I thought he was all ‘comforted out’ after dealing with the gravity of Liz’s marriage woes. *Smirk 

Sam promises not to tell anyone that Elizabeth and Jason slept together;

Wait until she finds out that everyone else already knows. 

Alexis is honest with Sonny;

Mark the day.  It only took her three years to be honest with him the last time. 

Robin is hit hard by April's death;

I’m thinking that fans everywhere will be hit hard by April’s death. 

Elizabeth clashes with Maxie

Can you say ‘bitch slap’? Bring it.

Wednesday~August 23rd  

Tracy and Edward learn about Lulu's pregnancy;

Tivo Alert! Tivo Alert! 

Lulu visits Laura, who remains unresponsive;

What?  Oh yeah, well just give her another two months and I’m sure she’ll come up with some words of wisdom for her little girl.

Lucky lashes out at Elizabeth;

Big Mistake – she’s already tasted forbidden fruit and she still came back to your drug-addled, teen screwing self out of a sense of obligation to your wedding vows.  You’re really pushing your luck. 

Maxie manipulates Lucky when he wants more pills;

Since this is DirtyMaxie, I’m thinking a body cavity search may be on the menu. 

Patrick and Anna reach out to Robin;

I’m sorry, I know this is supposed to be serious, but I’m hearing AT&T jingle, ‘reach out, reach out and touch someone’. 

April's death leaves Robin feeling helpless

It’s going around. 

Thursday~August 24th  

Sonny tells Jason why they need to keep the peace with Alcazar;

Maybe because the next sweeps belongs to Luke and Laura?   

Ric gets an interesting offer;

My mind boggles, perhaps a chance to fill a seat on Jerry Springer? 

Sonny shares his dilemma with Lainey;

How to hide the lithium party ball during back to school night? 

Alexis is grateful for Sam's support;

If there is a chick on the show who would know about support, it’s Busty – um, I mean Sam. 

Alexis' crisis and Lulu's pregnancy draw Nikolas and Emily together

Someone explain to me why Lulu being prego and Alexis’ bout with the big C is somehow romantic? 

Friday~August 25th  

Patrick tells Alexis that her condition is serious;

We all know how Patrick likes to be right; so if I were NLG, I’d be taking those plants in my dressing room home right about now. 

Jason spends time with Sam and Kristina;

Mike’s gonna get tennis elbow scooping all that ice cream 

Alexis demands that Sonny keep Jason away from Sam;

Will she cough up a lung (sorry) for emphasis? 

Robin is affected by the letter April left for her;

Please let it be in keeping with the mighty impact that the character of April has had on Robin’s relationship with Patrick – one can only hope. 

Maxie tempts Lucky with more pills to get what she wants

Yeah, because living in that one bedroom walkup with the fold-out couch is just the shit! 

Have a badass week everyone! 

Smooches!