Another Note to the Powers That Be 

Messieurs, Mesdames – remember once upon a time when I gave a little lesson to you on the definition of cast integration?  This time I come before you to discuss how not to fuck up a new character. 

First – let us discuss Spinelli.  Unlike so many others, I liked Spinelli from the first time he showed on my screen.  I admit – due to my current position, I have a soft spot for your average computer geek.  I’m around them all day, and I adore them as if they were my own children (albeit borne by some *other* woman, because in no way am I going to admit to being old enough to be mom to all these kids.  I don’t care if they *were* born after I graduated high school.).  Bradford Anderson nailed the goofy sweetness that I encounter on a regular basis.  What started as a recurring role grew into a character that made me laugh day after day.  I enjoyed his interactions with Lulu, with the rest of her harem, and he got bonus points for his unintentional aggravation of Sam.  He even made me warm up a bit to Jason.  Spinelli made Jason human again.  He approached “Stone Cold” with a mixture of hero worship, fear and a thin coat of humor that never failed to bring a grin.  Yeah – I really really liked Spinelli. 

Then – you decided to mess with a perfect formula.  I don’t know what the hell you people are smoking – but making Spinelli into an immoral clone to The Jason enforcer side was just stupid.  Goofy sweetness does not equal blind acceptance to MURDER.  I don’t care how evil Lorenzo was, Jason murdered him, and I absolutely hate that Spinelli finds that murder not only acceptable, but laudable.  It flies in the face of everything I loved about Spinelli, and now I don’t even think I like him anymore. Case number one for screwing up a perfectly good new character. 

Case number two – Logan.  Here is a character that shows up on my canvas, actually has a non-familial connection to another character already on the show (ok – a *new* character as well, but still).  And it’s a connection that so many of us can relate to these days – how nice for someone on the soaps to acknowledge that we have men and women fighting overseas!  Most just pretend it’s not happening.  And the way he and Coop saved Jason and Sonny’s ass during the latest dumb shootout.  Awesomeness personified. 

Sure – he’s not the nicest guy around, but man oh man – does he just scream “I’m Scotty’s long lost son!” or what?  So there you have potential – he’s young, he’s hot, he bears such a resemblance in both looks and mannerisms I keep waiting for Luke to give him a look and ask him how long he’s going to hide that he’s Scott’s son.  Do they have him in Scotty’s story?  Hardly.  Instead we see him yearning to be part of Sonny’s gummy bear mob.  Seriously.  How stupid is that?  And there is an evil rumor on the net that Logan’s story will be changed to have him Sonny & Kate’s son.   It’s just wrong.  Beyond believable.  Not only that – but I have a hard time liking Logan on some days as it is.  It will not improve if he’s Sonny’s son.  Or part of the gummy bear mob.  Now if it turns out that he’s Scott’s son and working undercover for Anna and Robert to bring down the mob – I’d be all over THAT! 

Think I’m done?  Au contraire!  Let’s discuss James Craig/Jerry Jacks!  Talk about your major fuck up.  Here you have a new intriguing character that doesn’t seem to take any guff from Lorenzo, Sonny or even The Jason.  He’s cute; got an accent, he even put a beat down on Sonny.  Then you have him go and shoot Robin.  (Ok – there are those who are on board with that.  I personally have always liked Robin, and still think she did the right thing by telling AJ about Michael, but that’s a whole nother column that I’ll write when I’m ready to be yelled at by all those who disagree – and there are a lot of y’all)  Shooting Robin for no reason was just mean.  Having James Craig always be cruel got boring.  An accent can only string a girl along so far before she gets a little tired of the mean mind games.  Then he goes and contributes greatly to Alan’s death!!!  (By the way – if Jason is so determined to kill the man responsible for Alan’s death – why isn’t he going after Guza?  And Frons?  Because, you know, I’d be willing to get off my moral high horse if he was killing those who *really* deserved it)  They establish James Craig as an evil evil man on par with the divine Helena and what do they do to keep him around? 

Turn him into Jerry Jacks.  Who we all remember as a lovable, rakish rogue that had his way with Bobbi on the conference room table for all the Nurse’s Ball to see.  Jerry Jacks would never shoot ROBIN.  Or be so cruel to Carly.  I don’t care what kind of torture he went through – this man is NOT Jerry Jacks and if they don’t find some way to blame his actions on Helena brainwashing him, I have absolutely no interest in watching him anymore.  He will be fast forward fodder for sure.  James Craig is unredeemable.  A brainwashed Jerry Jacks is not.  And why the hell does he only have an English accent?  I distinctly recall that both Jacks boys (as well as the divine Scorpios) had Australian accents?  I could have bought this more if he had slipped into an Australian accent when Lady Jane busted him at the wedding.  Not much more – but a little. 

So there you have it.  This is how you are screwing up potential.  Stop it.  Stop it now.  You have some wonderful new cast members and characters.  Quit turning them into copies of what you already have on canvas and create *new* and *refreshing* characters that don’t idolize the mob.  Give us some good guys for Pete’s sake!!! 

Before I’m tempted to dumb GH and start taping OLTL instead.